It’s not always easy to tell when someone’s putting in effort.
Sometimes, it’s loud and obvious, but other times, it’s subtle and hidden in the little things. People show they’re trying in different ways, and just because it doesn’t fit the usual mould doesn’t mean it’s not real. If you’re looking closely, you’ll notice the small gestures, quiet changes, and unspoken efforts that prove someone is doing their best.
1. They keep showing up, even when it’s hard.
One of the clearest signs of effort is consistency. Even if someone struggles, if they keep turning up, whether it’s for a conversation, a commitment, or simply to be present, it shows they’re trying. It may not always be perfect, but the fact that they keep showing up says a lot.
Life isn’t always smooth, and showing up despite challenges takes real effort. When someone makes the choice to be there, even when they’re exhausted, busy, or uncertain, it’s a sign that they care and want to make things work.
2. They ask questions instead of making assumptions.
Taking the time to ask rather than assume is a quiet but meaningful way of showing effort. Whether it’s about how you’re feeling, what you need, or what matters to you, asking thoughtful questions shows a willingness to understand.
It’s easy to assume things, but real effort comes from wanting to get it right. When someone takes the time to check in and listen, rather than jumping to conclusions, it’s their way of showing they’re invested in getting things right.
3. They take responsibility, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Owning up to mistakes isn’t easy, but it’s a big sign of effort. If someone is willing to acknowledge when they’ve messed up, apologise, or make amends, it shows they care about doing better rather than just brushing things aside.
Accountability takes courage, especially when it’s tempting to defend yourself or make excuses. When someone takes responsibility without being pushed to do so, it’s a clear sign they’re putting in the effort to grow.
4. They make small adjustments based on feedback.
Big changes don’t always happen overnight, but small adjustments speak volumes. If someone remembers what you’ve said, takes feedback on board, or makes little shifts in how they act, it’s a sign that they’re genuinely trying.
These adjustments might not be dramatic, but they show awareness and care. Whether it’s communicating differently, respecting a boundary, or just making an effort to improve, these little changes prove that they’re listening and putting in work.
5. They don’t give up at the first sign of challenge.
Effort means sticking with something even when it’s not easy. If someone is genuinely trying, they won’t walk away at the first sign of frustration or struggle. Instead, they’ll take a breath, adjust, and keep going.
Perseverance is a quiet but powerful indicator of effort. It shows they’re not looking for the easy way out, but are willing to work through the tough moments to make things better.
6. They remember the little things that matter to you.
When someone truly tries, they don’t just focus on the big things; they pay attention to the small details too. Remembering your favourite coffee, checking in about something you mentioned in passing, or making an effort to bring up things that are important to you all show care.
These little acts may seem small, but they require effort and attention. They show that someone isn’t just going through the motions but is actively thinking about what makes you feel seen and valued.
7. They show patience, even when it would be easier not to.
Patience is a sign of effort, especially when emotions are high or things aren’t going smoothly. If someone takes a moment to pause rather than reacting impulsively, it shows they’re trying to handle things with care rather than just doing what’s easy.
Giving someone time and space, choosing to listen instead of arguing, or simply holding back frustration when they could lash out are all ways someone can show they’re putting in effort to handle things better.
8. They express themselves in ways that feel natural to them.
Not everyone is comfortable with words, but that doesn’t mean they’re not trying. Some people show effort through actions rather than direct conversation — helping out, making time, or showing support in their own way.
Effort isn’t about expressing things in a specific way but about the intention behind it. If someone finds their own way to show up and express themselves, even if it’s not conventional, it’s still a real sign that they’re making an effort.
9. They keep trying to communicate, even when it’s awkward.
Not everyone is naturally great at talking about feelings or working through tough conversations, but effort shows in the willingness to try. If someone keeps engaging, even if it’s messy or uncomfortable, it’s a sign they’re putting in work.
Communication isn’t always smooth, but effort is about the willingness to keep going. Stumbling through words, taking time to find the right way to explain things, or even just making the space to talk all show real intention.
10. They support you in ways that feel meaningful to you.
Effort isn’t about generic gestures; it’s about recognising what actually matters to you. If someone takes the time to support you in ways that fit your needs, rather than just what’s easiest for them, it shows thoughtfulness.
It could be practical support, emotional encouragement, or just being there in the way that makes the most sense to you. The fact that they’ve put in the effort to figure that out is a sign of genuine care.
11. They don’t need to be told twice.
When someone takes something on board the first time and acts on it, it’s a clear indicator of effort. Whether it’s respecting a boundary, remembering something important, or making an effort to adjust their behaviour, it shows they’re listening.
No one gets everything right immediately, but effort means not needing constant reminders. When someone actively applies what they’ve learned, it’s a sign that they’re taking things seriously.
12. They do things without expecting recognition
Real effort isn’t always about looking for credit. If someone makes an effort quietly, without needing a thank you or applause, it shows their intentions are genuine. They might offer support, make thoughtful gestures, or simply do what they can to help, not because they want praise but because they truly care. Effort that happens without an audience is often the most sincere.
13. They try again, even after they get it wrong.
One of the biggest signs of effort is resilience. If someone doesn’t give up after making a mistake but instead works to do better, it’s a powerful indicator of real intention. Growth isn’t about never getting it wrong; it’s about what happens after. When someone acknowledges where they’ve fallen short and makes an effort to improve, it shows they genuinely want to get it right.
