Everyone knows what FOMO is, but FOBO is probably even more damaging.
The acronym stands for the “fear of better options,” and it’s basically that anxiety-driven indecision keeping you stuck in life, always worrying about missing something better. You don’t want to choose something, only to realise a few weeks, months, or even years down the line that you might have preferred the other path, after all. Of course, that’s no way to live — it’ll drive you crazy and mean you miss out on a lot of things in life. If you don’t want that to happen to you, you need to know how to spot it — handle decisions with less stress and doubt.
1. Why is FOBO so debilitating?
Again, it’s the worry you get when choosing feels impossible because there might be something better out there. It’s the feeling that stops you settling on one option, just in case you miss something even nicer, funnier, or more enjoyable elsewhere. From deciding what takeaway to order to figuring out your career path, FOBO sneaks into your everyday choices, making things more stressful than they need to be. On the plus side, recognising this feeling is the first step to managing it and feeling happier with your choices.
2. You constantly second-guess your choices.
Second-guessing yourself is a clear sign FOBO might be taking over your decisions. Even after you’ve made your mind up, you might find yourself repeatedly wondering if there’s something you overlooked or another option that would have been better. That mental tug-of-war can drain your energy and turn what are meant to be enjoyable activities into stressful experiences. You end up not fully enjoying your choices because part of you remains unsure.
It might be helpful to remind yourself why the decision felt right initially. Instead of getting stuck on doubts, it can ease your anxiety if you trust your first instincts more often.
3. You find it hard to make small decisions quickly.
When even simple choices, like deciding what snack to buy or which film to watch, start feeling overwhelming, FOBO might be playing a role. Small decisions shouldn’t leave you feeling stuck, but fear of missing a better alternative can turn easy tasks into frustrating experiences. It might seem silly, but it’s common — and it can leave you feeling mentally drained by the end of the day.
Setting time limits on these smaller decisions can help reduce this anxiety. It can make things simpler and help you move forward with fewer regrets. Focus on where you’re going, not where you might have been.
4. You’re always comparing your choices.
If you find yourself constantly comparing your decisions or experiences with other people’s, especially on social media, it could be FOBO talking. It’s natural to look at other people and think their lives seem better or their choices smarter, but doing this repeatedly can undermine your confidence. It makes your own decisions feel less satisfying, no matter how great they actually are.
Reducing how often you scroll through social media or consciously choosing to appreciate your choices rather than comparing them can ease this feeling. It takes some practice, but can quickly make you feel happier and more content.
5. You put off important decisions pretty much indefinitely.
When FOBO shows up in big decisions, you might find yourself stuck, unable to commit because you fear something better might come along soon. That hesitation can leave you feeling trapped or stuck in one place. You end up missing out on good opportunities because you’re always waiting for something perfect.
It can help to set yourself deadlines for making bigger decisions. Having a clear timeframe might make the process less daunting and encourage you to make choices you’re comfortable with.
6. You spend too long researching your options.
Doing your research is sensible, but FOBO can push you into overdrive, making you read endless reviews and comparisons without feeling clearer. Instead of helping, this excess of information can make decisions feel impossible. You might end up confused, stressed, and even more uncertain than when you started.
One simple step could be limiting the amount of time you spend researching. It can help you narrow your options without drowning in details. There’s such a thing as having too much information, after all.
7. You need a lot of reassurance from other people before moving ahead.
Asking for advice is totally normal, but FOBO often makes you overly reliant on other people’s opinions. You might find yourself asking everyone around you for reassurance, making it harder to feel confident about your own choices. The more opinions you gather, the harder it might feel to trust your own gut.
Building confidence in smaller decisions on your own can slowly help you feel less dependent on external validation. With practice, your decision-making will feel more natural and less stressful. After all, you’re the one living your life — you’re the only person who has to feel good about that.
8. You feel anxious immediately after choosing.
FOBO can lead to anxiety even after making a seemingly good decision. As soon as you choose, you might start doubting yourself and wondering if you’ve missed out. It makes even successful decisions feel less enjoyable because your mind is already worrying about what else you could have picked.
Recognising this anxiety and reminding yourself why you chose what you did can help ease these feelings. Sometimes, simply acknowledging this anxiety can make it easier to manage.
9. You tend to regret the choices you make.
Regretting your choices frequently is a common sign of FOBO. Even when the choice is objectively fine or good, you might feel unsatisfied or unhappy because you’re focused on what could have been. It can prevent you from fully enjoying the positive aspects of your decisions.
When this happens, shifting your attention to things you’re grateful for can help lessen feelings of regret. It won’t erase the doubts entirely, but it often makes them feel less intense.
10. You repeatedly switch between choices.
Source: Unsplash Constantly switching your options or frequently changing plans is another FOBO indicator. Maybe you cancel reservations regularly or find yourself returning products you just bought. While this might temporarily ease your anxiety, it can leave you feeling unsettled in the long run.
Practising sticking with a choice, even if it feels uncomfortable at first, can slowly reduce this habit. In the long run, this can lead to more stable, satisfying experiences. It’s a more positive version of “you’ve made your bed, you have to lie in it,” if you will.
11. You get caught up in minor details.
FOBO can cause you to obsess over small details that don’t majorly impact your happiness, like choosing between two nearly identical products or menu items. Overthinking minor decisions can make even straightforward tasks feel exhausting and complicated. Sometimes things just are what they are; in other words, they’re not that deep.
Reminding yourself that minor details rarely make a huge difference can ease some of this stress. It’s a simple but effective strategy to move past overthinking.
12. You regularly cancel plans last minute.
Source: Unsplash If you’re constantly cancelling or hesitant to commit to plans, FOBO might be influencing you. Maybe you’re worried a better opportunity will come up, or you’re unsure if you’re making the best use of your time. After a while, that habit can strain friendships and make social situations feel stressful.
Sticking with plans more consistently, even when it feels uncomfortable at first, can improve your confidence and relationships. Gradually, you’ll become less anxious about commitments overall.
13. You rarely feel satisfied with your choices.
A key part of FOBO is struggling to feel genuinely satisfied with your choices, no matter how good they objectively are. It can leave you always chasing something else, making happiness feel elusive or temporary. It’s a draining way to live, constantly questioning if something else might make you happier.
Making a habit of appreciating what you have now, rather than always thinking about what could be better, helps. Small shifts toward gratitude can significantly improve how satisfied you feel with everyday decisions.
