Parenting comes with plenty of challenges (and that’s putting it lightly), but emotionally intelligent parents seem to handle them in a way that makes everything feel a little smoother.
They’re not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination — no one is. However, they are aware, adaptable, and know how to navigate emotions (both theirs and your child’s) without turning every moment into a battle. It’s the little things that make the biggest difference when raising kids, and parents with high EQ always incorporate these habits into their daily routines to ensure their children are happy, healthy, and well-adjusted.
1. They validate their child’s feelings instead of shutting them down.
Instead of saying, “You’re fine” or “It’s not a big deal,” they acknowledge their child’s emotions, even if they don’t fully understand them. A simple, “I can see that really upset you” helps kids feel heard. It also makes their kids more likely to open up to them when they’re having a tough time, rather than bottling up their emotions or shutting them out. Validation doesn’t mean agreeing with everything; it just means recognising that their emotions are real and helping them work through them.
2. They stay calm even when their child isn’t.
Kids are going to have meltdowns — it’s part of the deal. Emotionally intelligent parents don’t match their child’s energy when things get heated. Instead of yelling or getting frustrated, they focus on staying calm so they can guide their child through the chaos. It’s not always easy, but taking a deep breath (or five) before responding can stop a situation from escalating. It keeps both them and their kids on a more even keel.
3. They admit when they’ve messed up.
No parent gets it right 100% of the time. Emotionally intelligent parents know when they’ve overreacted or made a mistake, and they own up to it. Saying, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier, I was feeling stressed, and I’m sorry,” teaches kids that mistakes are normal — and so is apologising. They’re much more likely to be willing to take responsibility for their own behaviour as a result. It also helps kids learn that they don’t have to be perfect, just accountable.
4. They give their kid space to express themselves.
Whether it’s a long-winded story about their day or big feelings they don’t quite know how to explain, emotionally intelligent parents listen without shutting the conversation down. While what their child is saying might be nonsensical or even a little overly dramatic, it’s important to them, and that’s what really matters. Instead of rushing to fix things or jumping in with advice, they make space for their child to talk, even if it takes a while for them to find the right words.
5. They set boundaries without making everything a power struggle.
Instead of using, “Because I said so” as a go-to response, they set clear limits while still making their child feel heard. “I understand you want to keep playing, but it’s bedtime. You can have five more minutes, then it’s time to stop,” keeps things firm but fair. They set the rules, but they’re not being draconian about them. Boundaries don’t have to feel like punishment; they’re just a way to teach structure and respect.
6. They let their child experience consequences (without rescuing them every time).
It’s tempting to step in and fix things when your child forgets their homework or leaves their jacket at school for the third time this week. But emotionally intelligent parents know that natural consequences are sometimes the best teacher. They’ll never be able to stand on their own two feet if they don’t learn to deal with the outcomes of their choices. They offer guidance and support, but they also let their kids feel the impact of their choices so they learn responsibility.
7. They don’t make everything about themselves.
When a child expresses frustration, emotionally intelligent parents resist the urge to turn it into a lesson about their own childhood. Instead of, “You think that’s hard? When I was your age…”, they keep the focus on their child’s experience. They hated it when their own parents did it, so they don’t do the same to their kids. It doesn’t mean their experiences don’t matter, but in the moment, their child just needs to be understood, not compared.
8. They help their child name their emotions.
Kids don’t always know how to describe what they’re feeling. Emotionally intelligent parents help them put words to their emotions: “It sounds like you’re frustrated because your tower fell down,” or “You seem really excited about your field trip tomorrow.” Giving emotions a name helps kids process them instead of just reacting. It also helps them develop their own emotional intelligence, which is incredibly valuable.
9. They teach problem-solving instead of just fixing things.
It’s easy to jump in and fix things when your child is struggling, but emotionally intelligent parents help them figure things out instead. “What do you think you could do to fix this?” or “Let’s think of three different ways we could handle this” gives kids a sense of independence. It also teaches them that they’re capable of working through challenges on their own, giving them a greater feeling of capability and strength.
10. They model the behaviour they want to see.
Kids learn more from what they see than what they’re told. If a parent handles stress by yelling or shutting down, their child will likely do the same. They know that the whole “do as I say, not as I do” way of parenting isn’t the way to go, and they avoid it at all costs. Emotionally intelligent parents show their kids how to handle emotions in a healthy way, whether it’s taking a break when overwhelmed or talking things through calmly.
11. They encourage independence while still being supportive.
Emotionally intelligent parents know when to step back and let their child try things on their own. They don’t hover or micromanage, but they also don’t leave their child to figure everything out alone. It’s a fine line to walk, and sometimes it’s hard to know if they’re coming down on the right side of it, but they do their best. As a happy medium, they offer guidance and support while encouraging their child to take the lead when they’re ready.
12. They don’t shame their child for having big emotions.
Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes, including kids. Instead of saying, “Stop crying, you’re being dramatic,” emotionally intelligent parents help their child understand what’s happening. They know that when you’re young, the tiniest things can feel like the biggest deal, and they never diminish or belittle that. They might say, “It looks like you’re really upset. Do you want a hug or some space?” This helps kids learn that their emotions are okay — it’s just about finding ways to manage them.
13. They recognise that every child is different.
Source: Unsplash What works for one kid won’t always work for another, and emotionally intelligent parents adjust their approach based on what their child needs. Some kids need more reassurance, some need more independence, and some just need to be given time to process things. They pay attention and respond in a way that works best for their child.
14. They remind their child that love isn’t conditional.
No matter how bad the tantrum, how frustrating the moment, or how many times they have to repeat themselves, emotionally intelligent parents make sure their child knows that love isn’t based on good behaviour. They might say, “I love you even when you’re upset” or “We all have tough moments, but I’m always here for you.” Knowing they’re loved, no matter what gives kids the security to grow, make mistakes, and learn.
