Loneliness can be an incredibly isolating and depressing feeling, weighing you down and making you feel entirely alone in the world.
Some adults struggle with it constantly, while others seem content in their own company and easily build meaningful connections. The difference often comes down to the skills they learned growing up. If loneliness rarely creeps in for someone, chances are they were taught these things by their parents or other caregivers growing up.
1. How to enjoy their own company
Kids who grew up learning that being alone isn’t the same as being lonely tend to become adults who don’t rely on anyone else for happiness. They were encouraged to entertain themselves, explore their interests, and find comfort in solitude. As adults, they don’t panic when they’re alone because they’ve always known how to enjoy their own time. Whether it’s reading, going for a walk, or pursuing a hobby, they’ve never needed constant company to feel fulfilled.
2. How to start conversations with new people
Some people make friends effortlessly, while others struggle to break the ice. More often than not, the difference comes down to childhood. Kids who were encouraged to talk to different people — whether at school, in activities, or even just ordering their own food at a restaurant — grew up comfortable with conversation.
As adults, they don’t overthink social situations. They know how to start a chat, ask questions, and keep a conversation flowing. That confidence makes it easier to build connections and avoid loneliness.
3. How to nurture friendships instead of just making them
It’s one thing to meet new people; it’s another to maintain strong friendships over a long period of time. Adults who rarely feel lonely were likely taught that friendships take effort, not just in the beginning, but throughout.
They learned as kids to check in, make plans, and show up for other people. Whether it was writing letters to a pen pal, calling a friend to see how they’re doing, or being taught the importance of remembering birthdays, they grew up knowing relationships require care.
4. That being independent doesn’t mean shutting people out.
There’s a balance between self-sufficiency and allowing yourself to lean on other people. Kids who were encouraged to be independent but also taught that it’s okay to ask for help tend to grow up with healthier connections. As adults, they don’t struggle with loneliness because they know they don’t have to do everything alone. They reach out when they need support and don’t isolate themselves out of pride or fear of being a burden.
5. How to handle rejection without taking it personally
One of the biggest reasons people struggle with loneliness is fear of rejection. But those who were taught as kids that not everyone will like them — and that’s okay — don’t let social setbacks hold them back. They don’t overanalyse when a friend cancels plans or assume someone not replying immediately means they’re being ignored. They see relationships as fluid, not as constant tests of their worth.
6. The importance of shared experiences
Adults who rarely feel lonely often have a natural instinct to build memories with other people. That’s because, as kids, they were encouraged to do things with family, friends, and community groups, rather than always being left to entertain themselves.
Whether it was family game nights, group trips, or learning a sport with friends, they grew up understanding that meaningful relationships are built through shared experiences. As grown-ups, they naturally look for ways to create those connections instead of just expecting friendships to happen.
7. How to recognise when a relationship isn’t serving them
Some people stay in toxic friendships or chase people who don’t reciprocate, which only makes loneliness worse. However, those who were taught to value quality over quantity in relationships tend to form stronger, healthier bonds.
As kids, they weren’t pressured to keep friendships that made them feel bad. Instead, they were taught that it’s okay to walk away from one-sided connections and invest energy in people who genuinely care.
8. That vulnerability is necessary for real connection
People who keep everything to themselves often feel disconnected, even in a crowd. On the flip side, those who grew up in environments where it was safe to express emotions find it easier to build deep, meaningful relationships. They don’t just make small talk; they share their thoughts, fears, and experiences with the right people. That openness allows them to create connections that aren’t just surface-level, making loneliness far less likely.
9. How to embrace different types of relationships
Loneliness often comes from expecting one person or one type of relationship to fulfil all needs. But adults who rarely feel lonely were likely taught that connections come in different forms — friendships, colleagues, family, even casual acquaintances.
Instead of relying on one best friend or one romantic partner for all emotional support, they spread their connections out. That makes them less likely to feel isolated when one relationship changes or ends.
10. That loneliness is normal sometimes
Ironically, people who rarely feel lonely aren’t immune to it — they just don’t panic when it happens. That’s because they were taught from a young age that everyone feels lonely sometimes, and it’s just part of life. Instead of seeing loneliness as a personal failing, they recognise it as a temporary feeling that will pass. They don’t spiral into self-pity; they acknowledge the feeling and take steps to reconnect with people when they need to.
11. How to engage with their community
Source: Unsplash Feeling connected doesn’t always mean having deep friendships. Sometimes, it’s just about being part of something bigger. Adults who rarely feel lonely often grew up in environments where community involvement was encouraged. Whether it was volunteering, joining clubs, or attending local events, they learned that connection isn’t just about close relationships — it’s also about feeling part of a wider network.
12. How to make plans instead of waiting for invites
Source: Unsplash Some people wait around, hoping other people will reach out. However, adults who aren’t lonely very often learned early on that if you want connection, you sometimes have to initiate it. As kids, they might have been encouraged to invite friends over, organise activities, or take the lead in social situations. As adults, they’re the ones who make plans, suggest get-togethers, and don’t sit around waiting for friendships to happen to them.
13. That quality connections matter more than quantity
Source: Unsplash People who chase social validation often surround themselves with acquaintances, but still feel lonely. But those who were taught that a few deep friendships matter more than dozens of shallow ones tend to be more fulfilled. They don’t stress about having the biggest social circle. Instead, they focus on meaningful relationships where they feel understood, valued, and genuinely connected.
14. That their worth isn’t based on how many people like them
One of the biggest causes of loneliness is the idea that being liked equals being valuable, but adults who rarely feel lonely were likely raised with a strong sense of self-worth that wasn’t tied to social validation. They don’t measure their value by how many people text them back or how often they’re invited out. They understand that relationships are important, but they also know they’re enough on their own.
