Some people give off warning signs right away, while others take a little longer to reveal their true colours.
However, one thing’s for sure: shady people always slip up in the way they talk. Whether it’s blaming their behaviour on anyone and everyone else, twisting the truth, or subtly undermining people, their words tend to give them away. If you’ve ever felt uneasy around someone but couldn’t quite put your finger on why, listen to what they say. If you hear any of these things coming out of someone’s mouth, it should make you think twice before trusting them.
1. “I don’t like drama, but…”
Anyone who starts a sentence like this is about to stir up drama. They claim to hate it, yet they always seem to be in the middle of gossip, conflict, or some sort of chaos. Genuinely drama-free people don’t need to announce it — they just stay out of it. If someone constantly “dislikes drama” but somehow knows everyone’s business, take it as a red flag.
2. “You’re literally just too sensitive.”
Shady people love using this line to dismiss your feelings. Instead of taking responsibility for hurtful words or behaviour, they make it seem like the problem is you for reacting. It’s a classic way of shifting blame and making you question yourself. If someone regularly makes you feel like you’re overreacting when they’ve said something rude or manipulative, they’re probably not someone you can trust.
3. “Trust me, I would never lie to you.”
Most honest people don’t feel the need to reassure you like this because their actions already show they’re trustworthy. But shady people? They’ll say this right before or after they bend the truth. If someone has to keep reminding you that they would “never” lie, there’s a good chance they already have.
4. “Everyone says that about me.”
When someone gets called out for shady behaviour, they’ll often brush it off by acting like it’s nothing new. They make it sound like people are just out to get them, or that the problem must be with everyone else.
If multiple people have similar complaints about them, there’s probably a reason. Instead of reflecting on their behaviour, they act like they’re the victim.
5. “I wouldn’t normally tell you this, but…”
This is just a sneaky way to frame gossip as something special, like they’re trusting you with exclusive information. The truth is that if they’re spilling someone else’s business to you, they’re definitely sharing yours with other people, too. Shady people use this phrase to make themselves seem like insiders, but in reality, it’s just a warning that they can’t be trusted with confidential information.
6. “I was just joking.”
They insult you, make a passive-aggressive remark, or say something downright mean, then laugh and tell you to lighten up when you react. Shady people love using “it was just a joke” as a way to avoid taking responsibility. The problem is, jokes are supposed to be funny, not hurtful. If someone constantly makes cutting comments and then hides behind humour, they’re showing you who they are.
7. “I don’t mean to be rude, but…”
If someone has to preface a sentence with this, they absolutely know what they’re about to say is rude — and yet, they still say it. It’s their way of softening the blow while still taking a jab. A genuine person would either phrase things more kindly or just not say something unnecessary in the first place.
8. “I’d never do that to you.”
Shady people say this when they’re trying a little too hard to convince you of their loyalty. If someone truly respects you, they show it through their actions, not through exaggerated promises. People who constantly insist they would “never” betray you are often the first ones to do exactly that.
9. “Why do you always assume the worst about me?”
Instead of addressing what they’ve done, shady people flip the conversation to make you feel guilty for questioning them. It’s a tactic to pull attention away from their behaviour and make you second-guess yourself. Genuine people don’t get defensive when you express concerns — they talk things through. If someone makes you feel like you’re wrong for doubting them instead of proving they can be trusted, that’s a problem.
10. “You’re the only one I can talk to about this.”
This phrase makes it seem like you have a special bond, but in reality, it’s just another way for a shady person to drag you into their drama. They might say this to test your loyalty or to make you feel responsible for their problems, but if they say this to multiple people, it’s just another manipulation tactic to keep people on their side.
11. “I wouldn’t lie to you… this time.”
They say it jokingly, but what they’re really admitting is that they have lied before. They might even add, “But seriously, you can trust me.” Someone who plays games with honesty is someone you shouldn’t trust. If lying is even a little bit of a joke to them, it’s a clear sign that they don’t take integrity seriously.
12. “That’s just how I am.”
Whenever someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions by saying, “That’s just who I am,” it’s a huge red flag. Instead of making an effort to be better, they use this excuse to justify hurting or disrespecting people. Honest people acknowledge their flaws and try to improve. Shady people expect everyone else to just deal with it.
13. “I don’t get why you’re so upset.”
Source: Unsplash They know exactly why you’re upset, but instead of acknowledging it, they make you feel like you’re overreacting. It’s a form of gaslighting designed to make you doubt your own feelings. If someone regularly dismisses your emotions like this, it’s a sign that they don’t respect how their actions affect other people.
14. “I’d tell you, but I don’t want to start anything.”
Source: Unsplash This is how shady people plant a seed of doubt without actually saying anything. They want to stir up drama while acting like they’re being considerate. It makes you wonder what they “know” and keeps you coming back for more. But in reality, it’s just another manipulative way to control a situation.
15. “I’m just looking out for you.”
Source: Unsplash They say this when they’re being nosy, controlling, or pushing their opinions on you. It sounds like they have good intentions, but often, it’s just another way to insert themselves into your business. A real friend supports you without making you feel like they know better than you. If someone constantly makes you doubt yourself under the guise of “helping,” their motives might not be as pure as they seem.
16. “You’ll never find someone who cares about you like I do.”
Source: Unsplash This one is pure manipulation. It’s designed to make you feel like they’re your only option, whether in friendships, relationships, or even work environments. When someone says this, what they really mean is, “I don’t want you to realise you deserve better.” And that’s all the reason you need to walk away.
