Some people seem to have an almost magical ability to read others with zero effort.
They’re great at instantly picking up on hidden emotions, unspoken thoughts, or subtle personality traits. However, that’s not just a skill you’re born with — it’s something you can develop. Understanding people better helps you navigate relationships, avoid manipulation, and connect more deeply with the people around you. Whether you want to improve your intuition, spot red flags faster, or simply understand people on a deeper level, here are some ways to sharpen your ability to read people.
1. Pay attention to body language.
People don’t always say what they mean, but their bodies often do. Crossed arms, tense shoulders, or avoiding eye contact can reveal discomfort, while open posture and relaxed gestures indicate ease and confidence. Learning to recognise these cues can help you understand what someone is feeling, even when their words suggest otherwise. The more you observe, the more patterns you’ll start to notice.
2. Do more listening than talking.
When you focus on what someone is actually saying rather than waiting for your turn to talk, you pick up on subtle details you might have missed otherwise. People reveal a lot in their choice of words, tone, and pacing. By truly listening, instead of just hearing, you can pick up on inconsistencies, emotional shifts, and hidden concerns that might not be obvious on the surface.
3. Notice how people treat others.
One of the biggest indicators of someone’s true nature is how they treat people they don’t need to impress. Watch how they speak to waiters, cashiers, or strangers, etc. If they’re kind when no one’s watching, it says a lot. On the other hand, if they’re dismissive or rude to those they see as “unimportant,” that’s a sign of their real character. Paying attention to these interactions can help you understand who someone truly is.
4. Look for microexpressions.
Microexpressions are tiny facial movements that happen in a split second, often before someone has a chance to hide their real emotions. A quick flicker of anger, sadness, or surprise can reveal feelings they’re trying to suppress. These expressions are brief but telling, and learning to catch them can give you insight into what’s really going on beneath the surface.
5. Watch for mismatched words and actions.
If someone’s words don’t match their tone, body language, or behaviour, pay attention. Saying, “I’m fine” with a tight jaw or avoiding eye contact suggests they’re anything but fine. People who are honest tend to have consistency between their words and actions. When things don’t line up, it’s often a sign of deception or emotional conflict.
6. Pay attention to energy changes.
Ever walked into a room and instantly felt the mood change? People give off energy, and learning to pick up on changes can help you read situations better. Whether it’s tension in a conversation, sudden awkwardness, or an unexplained excitement, noticing these little changes can tell you a lot about what’s going on beneath the surface.
7. Ask deeper questions.
People reveal more about themselves when asked thoughtful questions rather than just surface-level small talk. Instead of “How was your weekend?” try “What was the best part of your weekend?” Asking open-ended questions encourages people to share more about themselves. The way they answer — how much detail they give, their tone, and their enthusiasm. —can give you insight into their personality.
8. Notice patterns in their behaviour.
One conversation won’t tell you everything about a person, but patterns do. If someone repeatedly cancels plans, dodges responsibility, or is only nice when they need something, that’s a pattern worth noting. Likewise, if someone consistently follows through, supports people, and keeps their word, that tells you something about their reliability and integrity.
9. Trust your gut.
Your instincts are often picking up on things your conscious mind hasn’t processed yet. If someone makes you uneasy, but you can’t put your finger on why, don’t ignore that feeling. While it’s important not to jump to conclusions, if something feels off, take a step back and observe. Your intuition is often more accurate than you think.
10. Observe their reaction to stress.
People’s true personalities often come out when they’re under pressure. Some handle stress with grace, while others lash out, shut down, or blame anyone and everyone else. How someone deals with challenges can reveal whether they’re patient, adaptable, or quick to anger. Watching how they react in tough situations can tell you a lot about their emotional maturity.
11. Pay attention to their sense of humour.
Humour can be revealing. Some people use it as a way to connect, while others use it to put people down. A pattern of sarcasm, cruelty, or “jokes” that always have a sharp edge can indicate deeper issues. If someone’s humour frequently comes at other people’s expense, they might be masking insecurity or enjoying a sense of superiority. The type of jokes they make — and who they make them around — can be a subtle clue about their real personality.
12. See how they react to other people’s success.
Genuine people celebrate everyone else’s wins, while shady people feel threatened by them. Pay attention to whether someone is genuinely happy for other people, or if they seem annoyed when someone else is getting attention. Jealousy, backhanded compliments, or downplaying someone’s achievements can be signs of insecurity or hidden competitiveness.
13. Watch how they handle boundaries.
Some people respect boundaries, and others see them as a challenge. If someone constantly pushes past your limits — whether it’s personal space, time, or emotional boundaries — that’s a sign they don’t respect you. A trustworthy person will listen and adjust when you set a boundary. Someone who ignores or dismisses it is showing you that they prioritise their needs over yours.
14. Notice how they talk about themselves.
People reveal a lot in the way they describe themselves. Do they always play the victim? Do they constantly bring up their past successes? Do they talk about other people more than themselves? Self-awareness is a key trait of emotionally intelligent people. If someone always blames everyone else for their problems or never takes responsibility for their actions, it’s a sign they might not be as trustworthy as they seem.
