Stimming—short for self-stimulatory behaviour—is something many people do without even realising it.
For neurodivergent people, particularly those with autism or ADHD, it can serve a deeper purpose. It’s often a way to cope, self-soothe, regulate emotions, or make sense of overwhelming sensory input. And while it’s sometimes misunderstood or pathologised, stimming is a completely natural expression of the nervous system. Here’s why it happens, what it can look like, and how to manage it without shame or suppression.
1. Stimming helps regulate overwhelming sensory input.
Many people stim when their environment becomes too loud, bright, crowded, or unpredictable. It might be through hand-flapping, rocking, humming, or tapping—anything that provides a sense of control or predictability when the outside world feels chaotic.
These repetitive movements or sounds give the brain something consistent to focus on. Instead of being bombarded by unpredictable stimuli, stimming acts as a grounding tool that helps reestablish a feeling of safety or focus.
2. It can also be a response to strong emotions.
Stimming doesn’t only happen during stress—it can also appear during moments of joy, excitement, frustration, or anxiety. It’s not always about calming down. Sometimes it’s a way to release excess energy that builds up during emotionally charged moments.
That kind of emotional overflow might show up as bouncing, pacing, or repeating a phrase. Rather than being “bad behaviour,” it’s the body finding a physical outlet when words aren’t enough to match the internal intensity.
3. Stimming is a way to self-soothe.
When the world feels unpredictable or exhausting, stimming often becomes a private form of self-care. Rhythmic movements and sounds can calm the nervous system and provide a gentle sense of consistency when everything else feels uncertain.
For some, it might be as subtle as rubbing fingers together. For others, it might look like pacing in a specific pattern or playing with a favourite texture. These behaviours aren’t meaningless; they’re rooted in self-preservation and comfort.
4. It’s not exclusive to those with autistic or ADHD.
While stimming is most commonly associated with autism or ADHD, neurotypical people stim too—they just call it something else. Tapping your foot, biting your nails, or twirling your hair are all examples of stimming. The key difference is often in frequency, intensity, and visibility. For neurodivergent people, stimming might be more pronounced or necessary to cope with daily demands. Still, the core function—self-regulation—is universal.
5. Suppressing stimming can lead to burnout.
Many people learn to hide their stims, especially if they’ve been told it looks odd or makes people uncomfortable. However, after a while, suppression can take a huge toll on mental and emotional health. Masking these behaviours might help someone “blend in,” but it often means they’re carrying unprocessed stress or emotional strain. Allowing safe stimming isn’t just about comfort—it’s about long-term health and energy preservation.
6. Not all stimming is harmless, but it can be redirected.
While many stims are soothing and safe, some can become harmful—like head-banging, skin-picking, or self-biting. These aren’t signs of attention-seeking. They’re signs that someone is in distress and using the tools they have available.
Instead of punishment or shame, the focus should be on understanding what need the stim is meeting, and how that need can be addressed in a safer way. For example, swapping out a harmful stim for a chewable necklace or fidget toy can reduce harm without removing the comfort.
7. Fidget tools can offer a healthy outlet.
Fidget spinners, chewable jewellery, textured putty, or weighted objects aren’t just toys. For many, they’re functional tools that help manage focus, stress, or sensory overwhelm in a socially acceptable way.
These tools provide an alternative way to stim without drawing unwanted attention or risking harm. Finding the right one can be a game-changer, especially in public or structured settings like school or work, where other forms of stimming may not feel safe.
8. Understanding your stimming patterns builds self-awareness.
Stimming isn’t random. It often follows emotional or sensory patterns. Keeping track of when and how it shows up can help you spot triggers, needs, or changes in your internal state that you might not otherwise notice. A bit of awareness makes it easier to plan ahead. If you know certain environments make you stim more, you can pack tools, take breaks, or build in quiet time afterward. It turns stimming from something reactive into something intentional and supportive.
9. Stimming doesn’t need to be fixed—it needs to be respected.
One of the most harmful myths about stimming is that it should be eliminated or controlled. But for many people, it’s a core part of how they navigate the world, and taking it away can cause far more distress than it solves.
Respecting stimming means allowing space for it, especially in environments that tend to demand stillness or quiet. When stimming is accepted, it creates a ripple effect of permission—to feel, to self-regulate, to exist without constant correction.
10. Public stimming isn’t shameful—it’s brave.
Stimming in public often takes courage. It can feel vulnerable, especially in spaces where difference is met with judgement or side-eyes. However, choosing regulation over masking is an act of self-respect, not a social failure.
For those who stim visibly, it’s not always about making a statement—it’s about staying regulated in real time. And for those witnessing it, the best thing to offer is space, kindness, and a reminder that everyone deserves to cope in the way that works for them.
11. Stimming can be part of joy and celebration too.
There’s a misconception that stimming only happens during stress or overwhelm, but many people stim when they’re excited, inspired, or happy. It’s part of how emotion is processed, expressed, and shared. Joyful stimming—like flapping, bouncing, or spinning—is often pure, unfiltered excitement. Letting it happen without shame turns emotional regulation into something beautiful and fully embodied, rather than something to hide.
12. Support means acceptance, not control.
If someone you love stims regularly, the most helpful thing you can do is accept it without trying to fix it. Ask what helps. Offer tools if needed. Be open and curious rather than dismissive. Managing stimming is less about stopping it—and more about making sure it’s safe, effective, and understood. That change in approach makes all the difference, especially for people who’ve spent years trying to shrink parts of themselves to feel acceptable.
