Source: Unsplash Thinking about therapy for your child is already a big step—doing it online adds a few more layers to consider. While remote sessions can be incredibly helpful, not every setup suits every child, especially when emotions, attention spans, and screen time come into play. If you’re on the fence or just trying to make the best choice possible, these are the questions worth asking before you dive in.
1. Is my child comfortable talking over video?
Some kids find it easier to open up behind a screen, while others completely freeze. Before committing, check in with how your child feels about video calls in general—school lessons, chats with family, anything. If they already avoid FaceTime or Zoom, that discomfort might carry over into therapy. A good therapist will often help bridge that gap, but it’s worth knowing whether the format itself is a hurdle.
2. What platform does the therapist use, and is it secure?
It’s not just about convenience; online therapy needs to be safe and private. Ask what video platform they use, and whether it’s designed for healthcare or just a regular video call system. Platforms should be encrypted, password-protected, and compliant with health data laws. You want to make sure your child’s sessions are protected from interruptions and privacy breaches.
3. How will the therapist build a relationship with my child?
Therapists who work well with children usually have a toolkit for building trust—but doing that online takes a bit more creativity. You’ll want to know how they keep kids engaged and help them feel safe from a distance. Some might use games, drawing, or screenshare tools to create a more relaxed space. Others rely on consistent structure and tone. Either way, connection is key, and it’s good to ask how they plan to get there.
4. Will I be involved in any sessions?
Depending on your child’s age and the reason for therapy, the therapist might want you to join some sessions or have check-ins before or after. It’s helpful to clarify how your role fits into the process. You’re not just the driver—you’re often part of the support system. Find out how communication will work and whether you’ll get updates on progress, while still respecting your child’s confidentiality.
5. What kind of experience does the therapist have with children?
Not all therapists are trained to work with kids. It takes a different approach, especially when sessions are online. Ask about their background with children and any age groups they focus on. Someone who regularly works with children will be more skilled in managing attention spans, emotional ups and downs, and different types of communication, including non-verbal ones that can be harder to spot over video.
6. What happens if my child gets distracted or doesn’t want to engage?
Online therapy can be tricky if your child doesn’t feel like showing up, or doesn’t stay focused when they do. It’s worth asking how the therapist handles disengagement or restlessness mid-session. Some will adapt the session structure or take breaks. Others may offer activities or shift gears quickly. A good therapist will be flexible, not flustered, and will expect a bit of chaos now and then.
7. How are goals set, and how will we track progress?
You’ll want to know what “progress” looks like. Are there check-ins? Is there a plan in place, or is it more open-ended? Therapy goals should be tailored to your child, not just a one-size-fits-all approach. Ask how you’ll know things are working. You don’t need a weekly report, but you do need a sense of direction—especially if you’re committing time and money to something that’s supposed to help.
8. What if my child has trouble opening up?
Some kids take time to trust adults, especially in unfamiliar settings like therapy. Ask how the therapist handles quiet sessions, resistance, or guardedness—because it’s common, especially early on. The right therapist will have gentle ways to earn that trust without pushing too hard. Building rapport is a skill, and it often happens slowly and quietly rather than in big breakthroughs.
9. How does online therapy work during tough emotional moments?
If your child gets overwhelmed, shuts down, or starts crying—how does the therapist support them through a screen? It’s a fair and important question, especially when you’re not in the room. Therapists trained in telehealth will have a clear plan for handling emotional distress remotely. That includes what to do if your child needs to stop, log off, or calm down with your help.
10. Can sessions be adjusted if something clearly isn’t working?
Maybe it’s the time of day, the format, or the length of the session—but sometimes something just doesn’t click. A flexible therapist won’t take that personally—they’ll help you make changes. Ask whether the format, frequency, or session style can change if your child struggles to engage. You want to know they’ll adapt, not just stick to a rigid routine.
11. What happens if the tech fails?
It might seem like a small detail, but tech issues happen. Internet cuts out, devices crash, or platforms glitch. What’s the plan if that happens mid-session? Reliable therapists will have backup options—whether it’s switching to a phone call, rescheduling, or sending resources to help bridge the gap until the next session.
12. How long should we try before deciding it’s not the right fit?
Sometimes therapy just needs a bit of time. But if your child resists every session or doesn’t connect at all, you don’t want to drag it out unnecessarily. Ask what the therapist recommends as a trial window. Three to six sessions is often a fair starting point to see if something’s clicking. If not, it might be worth trying a different therapist—or a different approach entirely.
13. What’s the backup plan if things escalate between sessions?
If your child has a crisis or strong emotional reaction between appointments, who do you contact? What support is available if the therapist isn’t reachable right away? Online therapy often means fewer in-person safety nets, so it’s important to ask how urgent situations are handled. Some therapists offer emergency protocols, while others will refer you to additional services.
14. Does this format suit my child’s specific needs?
Some kids thrive with online therapy, especially if they’re comfortable with screens or get anxious in clinical settings. Others really need in-person connection, physical cues, or more sensory engagement. Be honest about your child’s temperament, struggles, and preferences. A good therapist will help you weigh up whether the digital format will help—or hold them back.
