We all know someone who just doesn’t stop talking, no matter how little they actually have to say or how much they’re clearly annoying everyone.
It might be a co-worker who turns every chat into a monologue, a friend who dominates every catch-up, or a relative who hijacks conversations and never comes up for air. It’s like they just don’t have an off switch, and it’s a lot to deal with at times. Here’s how to set boundaries with them—without losing your patience or your voice in the process.
1. Acknowledge that your time matters too.
If someone constantly talks over you or traps you in never-ending stories, it’s okay to feel drained. Your time, energy, and ability to engage in a two-way conversation are just as important as theirs, even if they don’t seem to notice. Start by giving yourself permission to take up space in the interaction. You’re not being rude for needing balance—you’re recognising that healthy conversations involve both people, not just one person’s train of thought running on and on.
2. Cut them off nicely but firmly.
Sometimes, you have to cut in. It might feel uncomfortable, but letting someone dominate the conversation endlessly doesn’t help either of you. A simple, “Can I jump in for a second?” or “I just want to add something before we move on” can change the energy without being confrontational. You don’t need to match their volume or speed—just use a calm tone and clear wording. If they’re respectful, they’ll take the cue. If not, you’ll know this needs a deeper boundary down the line.
3. Use time limits to your advantage.
If you’re dreading an hour-long chat that you know will turn into two, set a time limit up front. Say something like, “I’ve got 15 minutes, but I’d love to catch up quickly.” That frames the boundary clearly before things spiral. It’s not about rushing them; it’s about protecting your time and preventing resentment. Most people respond better to time cues when they’re given in a friendly, respectful way from the start.
4. Redirect the conversation when needed.
Over-talkers often repeat themselves or go off on tangents. You can gently steer the conversation by saying things like, “That’s interesting—can I ask you something else?” or “Hey, before I forget, I wanted to share something too.” This creates a more balanced exchange without flat-out shutting them down. It’s especially helpful in social settings where walking away isn’t an option, but the one-way chatting is starting to wear you out.
5. Don’t reward behaviour you’re trying to avoid.
It’s easy to fall into nodding along or making filler comments to keep the peace, but that often signals to the talker that you’re still engaged, even if you’re zoning out completely. Instead of feeding the monologue, try staying quiet, breaking eye contact briefly, or changing your posture. These small cues can create natural pauses and help reset the flow of conversation without needing to be blunt.
6. Create conversation pauses on purpose.
Some people fill silence out of anxiety, not intention. You can interrupt that cycle by intentionally creating short gaps. Take a sip of water, check your watch, or pause before responding to see if they’ll pick up on the change. If they don’t, you can say something like, “Let’s pause there for a sec,” to reset the pace. Slowing things down helps both of you feel more grounded, and gives you space to actually speak.
7. Have a go-to exit phrase.
When you’re trapped in a long-winded chat and need a way out, it helps to have a phrase ready. Something like, “I’ve got to wrap this up, but let’s talk again soon,” or “I need to get back to something, thanks for catching up.” This makes leaving a conversation feel less awkward and more intentional. You’re not being dismissive—you’re just setting a clear end point instead of waiting for one that might never come.
8. Be clear about how much energy you have.
It’s okay to say, “I don’t have the capacity for a long conversation right now.” That’s a clear, honest way to express your limit without making it personal. You’re not rejecting them—you’re just naming your own boundary. When people know where your line is, it’s easier for them to respect it. And if they don’t? That tells you a lot about the dynamic and whether it’s working for you in the long run.
9. Avoid passive-aggressive hints.
Trying to send subtle signals—like checking your phone, sighing, or giving short replies—usually doesn’t work with people who dominate conversations. They might miss the cue or ignore it completely. It’s more effective to be kind but direct. A sentence like, “I’d like to share something too if that’s okay,” is way more helpful than a series of polite grimaces. Clarity tends to get results faster than hints.
10. Protect your group time, too.
If someone hijacks every group hangout or meeting, you’re allowed to speak up. Say, “Let’s make sure everyone gets a chance to talk,” or “I’d love to hear from someone else too.” It keeps things inclusive without shaming anyone directly. In group situations, setting boundaries helps everyone because chances are, other people are probably feeling walked all over, too. You speaking up might actually be the relief everyone was hoping for.
11. Don’t feel guilty for needing space.
Some people are lovely, but just exhausting to talk to. If you leave every conversation feeling drained, you don’t owe them unlimited access to your attention. It’s not rude to protect your energy—it’s necessary. You’re allowed to limit how often you engage, how long you stay, or even whether you respond at all. That doesn’t make you a bad friend or co-worker. It means you know your limits and honour them.
12. Practise saying, “Can I speak for a second?”
It might sound obvious, but a lot of people forget they can just ask to talk. Saying, “Can I chime in here?” or “Mind if I jump in?” can interrupt the flow enough to create a real opening. Sometimes people who talk too much don’t realise they’re doing it. Giving them a clear, polite pause gives them a chance to regroup, and gives you a moment to actually be heard.
13. Share how it’s affecting you (if the relationship matters).
If the person’s close to you and the constant talking is getting in the way, it’s okay to have a more honest chat. Focus on how it feels for you, rather than blaming them. “I’ve been feeling a bit overlooked when we talk,” or “I’d love to share more too.” Framing it this way opens the door to a better balance without putting them on the defensive. If they value the relationship, they’ll usually want to meet you halfway, even if it takes a few reminders.
14. Know that boundaries aren’t about being harsh.
You’re not being mean for setting limits. You’re just making space for mutual respect. Good boundaries keep conversations healthy, not hostile, and they protect your time and voice in the process. If someone truly cares about you, they’ll respect your boundary, even if it catches them off guard at first. And if they don’t? That tells you all you need to know about what kind of access they should have to your energy going forward.
