Not everyone we cross paths with is going to be our cup of tea—and that’s just life.
Whether it’s a coworker, a family member, or someone in your social circle, there will be times when avoiding certain people just isn’t possible. However, being stuck around someone you don’t click with (or flat-out can’t stand) doesn’t mean you have to constantly feel drained or tense. It’s about knowing how to protect your energy without pretending to be someone you’re not. Here are some simple ways to handle being around people you don’t like—without losing your peace in the process.
1. Lower your emotional expectations of the conversation.
One of the biggest reasons people frustrate us is because we expect too much from them—kindness, maturity, accountability—when they’ve already shown they don’t operate that way. If you expect them to behave poorly, you won’t be caught off guard when they do. You’re not becoming cynical. Instead, you’re being realistic so you can emotionally detach from their behaviour. Lowering the bar means you stop setting yourself up for disappointment.
2. Stop trying to change their personality.
We waste a lot of energy trying to nudge people into being more self-aware, kinder, or less annoying. The truth is, if someone’s hard to be around, they probably don’t care to change, and that’s not yours to fix. Letting go of that inner campaign to “make them better” frees up your mental space. You can still have boundaries without playing therapist or peacekeeper every time you interact.
3. Focus on your self-control, not their flaws.
It’s easy to get stuck in a loop of judging someone’s every move, but it never actually makes the situation feel better. What helps more is focusing on how you show up—what you say, how you react, and whether you’re staying grounded. Choosing to stay calm when someone’s irritating you is a quiet kind of power. It doesn’t mean you’re okay with their behaviour. It means you’re in control of yours.
4. Use neutral phrases to shut down drama.
When someone tries to rope you into gossip, arguments, or subtle jabs, neutral responses can help you step out without creating more chaos. Phrases like “that’s interesting,” “I’ll have to think about that,” or “you might be right” can work wonders. You’re not agreeing. You’re just refusing to engage in their emotional mess. Staying bland when they want drama often makes them lose interest in pulling you in.
5. Make your interactions task-focused.
If this is someone you work with or share responsibilities with, keep your focus on the task at hand. You don’t need to like each other—you just need to get through what needs to be done. When you keep things practical and straightforward, you take the heat out of the situation. You’re here to collaborate on the project or the plan, not bond over brunch.
6. Avoid overexposure when possible.
You might not be able to avoid them entirely, but you can usually limit your time. If you know being around them drains you, set gentle limits on how long you’ll engage or how often you say yes to things involving them. Protecting your peace sometimes means skipping the extra hangout or ducking out early when it’s socially acceptable. Your energy isn’t infinite—don’t waste it where it’s not respected.
7. Vent privately, not publicly.
It’s totally normal to need to let off steam, but be careful where and how you do it. Public complaints can come back to bite you or just stir up more drama than it’s worth. Find one friend that you trust or outlet where you can express your frustrations and move on. You don’t need to turn your dislike into a performance—it’s for your own processing, not a group vote.
8. Remind yourself it’s not personal.
Source: Unsplash Most of the time, people are difficult because of their own stuff. Their ego, insecurity, or lack of self-awareness isn’t about you. Even if they try to make it personal, it often isn’t. That doesn’t mean you have to excuse their behaviour, but it can take the sting out of it. Remembering that their attitude likely has nothing to do with you can make it easier to disengage emotionally.
9. Watch your body language.
Source: Unsplash We can say all the right things but still give away how we feel through eye rolls, crossed arms, or heavy sighs. Being aware of your non-verbal signals can help you stay in control of the tone of the interaction. Neutral, calm body language can defuse tension and keep the interaction from escalating. Sometimes, keeping your energy even is the best way to avoid fuelling their need for conflict.
10. Use humour to keep things light.
A little humour, especially the dry or subtle kind, can create just enough emotional distance to take the edge off. It doesn’t have to be a joke at their expense. Just a light comment or mental reframe can help you not take it all so seriously. If you can laugh something off instead of letting it simmer, you’re winning. Humour creates space between you and the tension, and that space is where your peace lives.
11. Don’t expect closure from people who can’t offer it.
If someone hurt you or treated you badly, it’s tempting to want resolution. However, not everyone is capable of giving you the honesty, empathy, or reflection you might crave. Sometimes the healthiest thing is accepting that they’ll never acknowledge it—and choosing to move on anyway. Closure isn’t always a conversation. Sometimes it’s a decision you make for your own healing.
12. Find someone you do connect with.
When you’re forced to be around someone you don’t like, balancing it out by spending time with someone who energises you can help. You don’t need to get along with everyone—but having even one solid connection makes the hard ones easier to stomach. It doesn’t have to be a deep friendship. Even a light, positive interaction with someone else in the room can help reset your mood and remind you that not everyone is hard work.
13. Keep your confidence in check.
Difficult people often have a way of making us feel like we’re the problem, especially if they’re skilled at blame-shifting or acting superior. Staying grounded in your own self-worth helps you avoid taking their attitude personally. It helps to mentally remind yourself of your strengths and the progress you’ve made in handling these situations. You don’t have to be perfect, by any means. You just need to keep showing up with your integrity intact.
14. Have a plan for exiting gracefully.
Whether it’s a party, a family gathering, or a meeting, have a polite and non-dramatic way to leave or excuse yourself when you need to. Knowing you can walk away gives you more control over the interaction. Even something as simple as “I need to catch up on something real quick” or “I’ll be back in a bit” can help you reclaim your space without making a scene. You’re not stuck—you’re just choosing your moments.
15. Protect your peace without pretending to like them.
You don’t have to fake warmth, but you also don’t have to give in to pettiness. There’s a space between pretending everything’s great and constantly being on edge, and that’s where emotional maturity lives. Being civil doesn’t mean being fake. It means you know how to handle tough dynamics without letting them define you. And that quiet self-control? It’s one of the most powerful things you can bring into any room.
