Respect isn’t something you can force out of people, and most of us realise that once we’ve been around long enough to see how quickly it can vanish.
You can usually tell when someone doesn’t quite take you seriously, even if they’re polite on the surface. It shows up in the way they speak to you, as well as in the ways they respond to the things you say. And while it’s easy to blame the people around you, sometimes there are habits you’ve picked up without noticing that actually impact the way people see you.
Plenty of people fall into patterns that make them look unreliable or uncertain without meaning to, and those small behaviours can create a picture that doesn’t match who they really are. Most of the time, it’s not that you’re a bad person. Instead, you’re just being unaware of how certain choices come across. Here are some of the behaviours that certainly won’t help earn you respect.
1. You never say what you really think or feel.
Maybe you keep quiet instead of disagreeing with someone in a meeting. Or you nod along with a friend’s opinion even if you don’t genuinely feel the same way. While a little diplomacy is important, constantly censoring your true thoughts might be a sign you’re afraid of being judged or disliked if people knew what you really believed. People respect those who stand up for what they believe in, even if it’s unpopular.
2. You constantly put yourself down.
A little self-deprecating humour can be charming, but if you’re constantly putting yourself down, people might start to believe those negative things. It’s hard to respect someone who doesn’t seem to respect themselves. Try focusing on your positive qualities and accomplishments instead.
3. You gossip and spread negativity.
Everyone enjoys a juicy story now and then, but if you’re the person who always has something negative to say about everyone, it won’t be long before people start to wonder what you say about them behind their backs. Gossiping destroys trust and makes you appear petty and unreliable. Focus on building people up instead of tearing them down.
4. You don’t keep your word.
Whether it’s a promise to a friend or a commitment at work, failing to follow through on your word is a major respect killer. People need to know they can rely on you. If you’re constantly flaky or unreliable, they’ll quickly lose faith in you. Start small by making and keeping simple promises, and gradually build from there.
5. You blame everybody else for your mistakes.
Everyone messes up sometimes. It’s how you handle those mistakes that matter. If you’re always pointing the finger at someone else, it shows a lack of accountability. Own up to your errors, learn from them, and move on. People respect those who take responsibility for their actions.
6. You interrupt and talk over people.
In conversations, it’s important to give other people a chance to speak. If you’re constantly interrupting or talking over people, it shows that you don’t value their opinions or perspectives. Active listening is key to building respect. Let people finish their thoughts before you jump in with your own.
7. You make promises you can’t keep.
It’s tempting to say yes to everything, but if you’re constantly overcommitting and then failing to deliver, it will damage your reputation. Learn to set realistic expectations and say no when necessary. People will respect your honesty and integrity.
8. You’re always late.
Being chronically late shows a lack of respect for other people’s time. It suggests that you don’t value their schedules or consider their commitments important. Make an effort to be punctual, even if it means setting your alarm a little earlier or leaving the house a few minutes sooner.
9. You’re always complaining and negative.
A little venting can be healthy, but if you’re constantly complaining about everything, it becomes draining for those around you. No one wants to be around a perpetual Debbie Downer. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your life and cultivate an attitude of gratitude. A positive outlook is contagious and will make you a more enjoyable person to be around.
10. You don’t take care of your appearance.
While looks aren’t everything, taking care of your appearance shows self-respect and consideration for other people. It doesn’t mean you have to be dressed to the nines all the time, but basic hygiene and grooming are important. When you put effort into your appearance, it signals that you value yourself and want to make a good impression.
11. You’re always trying to one-up everyone.
A little friendly competition can be fun, but if you’re constantly trying to outdo everyone else, it comes across as insecure and attention-seeking. Celebrate other people’s successes and be genuinely happy for them. A supportive attitude will make you more likeable and respected.
12. You take credit for other people’s work.
This is a major no-no in any setting, whether it’s at school, work, or in your personal life. Taking credit for someone else’s ideas or efforts is dishonest and disrespectful. Always give credit where it’s due, and be willing to share the spotlight. People will appreciate your integrity and humility.
13. You don’t listen to feedback.
Everyone has room for improvement. If someone offers constructive criticism, don’t take it personally or get defensive. Listen to what they have to say, consider their perspective, and try to learn from it. People respect those who are open to feedback and willing to grow.
14. You’re dismissive of other people’s feelings.
Everyone experiences a range of emotions, and it’s important to validate those feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them. If you’re quick to dismiss or belittle someone else’s emotions, it shows a lack of empathy and understanding. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective. A compassionate approach will earn you respect and trust.
15. You try to control everything.
A little organisation is good, but if you’re constantly trying to micromanage every aspect of your life and the lives of those around you, it can be suffocating. Learn to let go, trust people, and embrace a little spontaneity. People respect those who can go with the flow and adapt to change.
