We all crave connection, and surrounding ourselves with people who make us feel good is natural.
However, sometimes the people closest to us can subtly gnaw away at our well-being without us even realising it. It’s not always about obvious toxic behaviour; sometimes, it’s the subtler signs that can be the most insidious. Here are some emotional cues that might indicate a person’s presence isn’t serving your highest good.
1. You constantly feel drained after interacting with them.
A healthy connection should leave you feeling energised and uplifted, not depleted. If you consistently feel emotionally exhausted, mentally fatigued, or physically drained after spending time with someone, it’s a sign that their energy might be taking more than it’s giving.
2. They make you doubt your own intuition and judgement.
A good friend or partner should empower you to trust your instincts, not make you question them. If someone consistently undermines your decisions, second-guesses your choices, or makes you feel like you’re overreacting, it can destroy your confidence and self-belief.
3. You feel like you’re constantly on edge around them.
A sense of unease or anxiety in someone’s presence is a major red flag. If you find yourself censoring your words, hiding your true feelings, or constantly worrying about saying or doing the “wrong” thing, it’s a sign that the relationship lacks the safety and trust necessary for emotional well-being.
4. You feel a constant need to prove your worth to them.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and acceptance, not a constant need for validation. If you feel like you have to constantly strive to earn their approval, affection, or attention, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
5. They dismiss your feelings or experiences.
When you share your emotions or experiences, they might minimise your concerns, invalidate your feelings, or offer unsolicited advice instead of listening with empathy. This lack of validation can leave you feeling unheard, misunderstood, and emotionally invalidated.
6. You feel like you can’t be your authentic self around them.
A healthy relationship allows you to be yourself, quirks and all. If you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself, suppress your true feelings, or constantly put on a facade to please them, it’s a sign that the relationship lacks authenticity and genuine connection.
7. They make you feel guilty or ashamed for things that aren’t your fault.
A manipulative tactic is to shift blame or make you feel responsible for their negative emotions. If someone consistently makes you feel guilty, ashamed, or responsible for their unhappiness, it’s a sign that they’re not taking ownership of their own emotions and might be projecting their issues onto you.
8. They make you feel small or insignificant.
They might make subtle digs at your appearance, intelligence, or achievements, or they might simply ignore your contributions or opinions. This kind of dismissive behaviour can chip away at your self-esteem and make you question your own worth.
9. They create unnecessary drama and conflict.
Do they thrive on chaos and seem to stir up trouble wherever they go? Maybe they gossip excessively, pit people against each other, or exaggerate situations to get a reaction. This constant drama can be draining and toxic, leaving you feeling emotionally exhausted and constantly on edge.
10. They make you feel like you’re constantly competing with them.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual support and encouragement, not competition. If you feel like you’re always trying to one-up each other, prove your worth, or outshine them in some way, it’s a sign that the relationship might be more about ego than genuine connection.
11. You feel like you have to put on a facade around them.
Do you feel like you can’t truly be yourself around this person? Maybe you hide your true feelings, pretend to be interested in things you’re not, or change your behaviour to avoid their judgement or disapproval. This lack of authenticity can leave you feeling disconnected and unfulfilled.
12. They’re overly critical and judgemental of everyone else.
The way someone talks about other people can be a reflection of how they might see you when you’re not around. If they’re constantly gossiping, criticising, or judging other people, it’s a sign that they might not be capable of genuine empathy and compassion.
13. They make you feel responsible for their happiness.
While it’s natural to want to support the people we care about, it’s not your job to make someone else happy. If you feel like their well-being is solely your responsibility, it can lead to resentment, burnout, and an unhealthy power dynamic.
14. They cross your boundaries without remorse.
Healthy relationships have clear boundaries that are mutually respected. If someone consistently disregards your boundaries, whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental, it’s a sign that they don’t respect you or your needs. This can lead to feeling violated and resentful.
15. You feel a sense of dread when you know you have to see them.
This is perhaps the most telling sign. If the thought of spending time with this person fills you with dread, anxiety, or a sense of obligation rather than joy, it’s a clear indication that the relationship isn’t serving you. It’s okay to prioritise your own well-being and choose to distance yourself from those who drain your energy and bring negativity into your life.
16. They don’t celebrate your successes or show genuine interest in your life.
In a healthy relationship, your wins are their wins. If they seem indifferent to your achievements, dismissive of your goals, or uninterested in hearing about your life, it can leave you feeling unsupported and unimportant.
