Leaving an abusive relationship is a massive step, and it’s okay if you’re feeling a rollercoaster of emotions — that’s normal!
Healing takes time, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. The important thing is to know that millions of other people have been through the same thing, and they’ve pulled through stronger and wiser on the other side. They know better than anyone that doing these things can help you on your journey towards healing and rediscovering your amazing self.
1. Reach out and let someone know what you’re going through.
Source: Unsplash Isolation can be a huge part of an abusive relationship. Reconnecting with your support network can be a lifeline. Talk to friends, family, a therapist, or a support group – anyone who can offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a safe space to share your experiences. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone.
2. Focus on your physical well-being.
Abuse takes a toll on your mind and body. Prioritise your physical health by eating nourishing foods, getting enough sleep, and moving your body in ways that feel good. Even gentle exercise like yoga or walking can help release pent-up emotions and boost your mood. Treat your body with kindness and compassion; it deserves it.
3. Remember, healing is not linear.
Some days, you might feel like you’re making great strides, while other days, it might feel like you’re taking two steps back. That’s okay. Healing isn’t a straight line; it’s more like a winding path with twists and turns. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your victories, and don’t get discouraged by setbacks. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small it might seem.
4. Don’t rush into a new relationship.
Source: Unsplash It’s natural to crave love and connection, but jumping into a new relationship too quickly can hinder your healing process. Take time to focus on yourself, rebuild your self-esteem, and learn from your past experiences. When you’re ready, a healthy relationship will come along, but for now, look after yourself.
5. Rediscover activities that bring you joy.
Source: Unsplash Abusive relationships often strip away our passions and hobbies. Reclaim your joy by revisiting activities you used to love, or try something new altogether. Maybe it’s painting, dancing, writing, or simply spending time in nature. Rediscovering what makes you happy is an essential part of healing and rebuilding your life.
6. Set healthy boundaries for yourself.
Source: Unsplash Learning to say no and put your own needs first is so crucial for recovering from an abusive relationship. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries with people, communicate your needs clearly, and protect your energy. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration.
7. Forgive yourself for things that weren’t your fault.
Source: Unsplash It’s common for survivors of abuse to blame themselves for what happened. But remember, abuse is never your fault. The responsibility for the abuse lies solely with the abuser. Practice self-compassion, forgive yourself for any perceived mistakes, and focus on moving forward.
8. Be patient with the process.
Source: Unsplash Healing from an abusive relationship takes time and effort. There will be good days and bad days, moments of triumph and moments of despair. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and don’t give up on your journey towards healing. Remember, you are strong, resilient, and capable of creating a brighter future for yourself.
9. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship.
Source: Unsplash Even if the relationship was toxic, it’s still a loss. You might grieve the loss of companionship, the dreams you had for the future, or even the person you thought your abuser was. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, and disappointment. Don’t bottle up your emotions; let them flow and release them in healthy ways.
10. Celebrate your independence and strength.
Source: Unsplash Leaving an abusive relationship takes immense courage and strength. Take pride in your resilience and celebrate your newfound independence. You’ve broken free from a toxic situation, and that’s a massive accomplishment. Acknowledge your strength, and don’t be afraid to give yourself a pat on the back.
11. Consider working with a qualified counsellor or therapist.
If you’re struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to talk to someone who’s trained to deal with complex issues like PTSD and abusive relationships. A therapist or counsellor can provide a safe space to process your emotions, develop coping mechanisms, and rebuild your self-esteem. Remember, getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
12. Rebuild your self-esteem.
Abuse can chip away at your self-worth, leaving you feeling insecure and unworthy. Take steps to rebuild your self-esteem by focusing on your strengths, celebrating your accomplishments, and practising positive self-talk. Surround yourself with supportive people who remind you of your value and worth.
13. Learn to trust your instincts again.
Abuse can make you doubt your own judgment and instincts. Practice listening to your gut feelings and trusting your intuition. Remember, you are the expert on your own life, and you have the right to make decisions based on what feels right for you.
14. Find healthy ways to cope with stress and triggers.
Certain situations or memories might trigger difficult emotions related to the abuse. Identify your triggers and develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage them. This might involve deep breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist. Remember, you have the power to control your reactions and choose healthy responses.
15. Educate yourself about abuse.
Learning about the dynamics of abuse can help you make sense of your experience, identify patterns, and understand that you are not to blame. Read books, articles, or websites about abuse, or join a support group where you can connect with people who understand what you’re going through.
16. Create a safe and supportive environment for yourself.
Surround yourself with people who uplift you, encourage you, and respect your boundaries. Spend time in spaces that feel safe and comforting, whether it’s your home, a friend’s house, or a peaceful outdoor spot. Fill your life with activities that bring you joy and help you heal.
17. Focus on creating a brighter future for yourself.
Leaving an abusive relationship opens up a world of possibilities. Set goals for yourself, dream big, and take steps towards creating the life you deserve. Remember, you are not defined by your past; you are capable of creating a future filled with love, joy, and fulfilment.
