We’ve all had conversations with someone who somehow makes literally everything about them.
No matter the topic, they manage to steer things back to their experiences, opinions, or problems. It’s frustrating, but the signs are easy to spot once you start paying attention. While how you handle it will depend on your relationship with the person and the situation, knowing when it happens is the first step toward confronting it — even if “confronting it” equals not talking to them anymore (if you can possibly help it). Here are some things self-centred people like this say a lot.
1. “That reminds me of when I…”
Instead of engaging with what you just shared, they instantly flip the focus back to themselves. Rather than acknowledging your experience, they use it as a launchpad for their own story. It’s less about relating to you and more about making themselves the centre of attention. While it might seem harmless, after a while, it becomes clear that they’re not really listening. They’re just waiting for an opportunity to talk about themselves. No matter what you say, they’ll always find a way to bring it back to their own experiences.
2. “I know exactly how you feel because I…”
While empathy is great, this one often isn’t about connection; it’s about redirecting attention. Instead of letting you express your feelings, they immediately insert their own, making the conversation about them. Even if your situations aren’t the same, they act as if they are. Rather than truly hearing you, they’re focused on proving that they relate. But in reality, they’re just taking over the conversation. Instead of holding space for your experience, they make sure theirs is the main focus.
3. “You think that’s bad? One time I…”
No matter what you’re going through, they’ll find a way to one-up you. If you had a rough day, theirs was worse. If you’re dealing with a challenge, they’ve been through something ten times harder. It’s a constant competition for who has the more dramatic story. Rather than offering support or perspective, they use your struggles as a chance to talk about themselves. The conversation becomes a battle for attention rather than a genuine exchange. It’s exhausting, and it makes it clear that your feelings aren’t their priority.
4. “I was just about to say that!”
Even when you bring up something first, they somehow manage to claim it as their own. Whether it’s an idea, an observation, or a joke, they want credit for thinking it too. It’s as if they can’t stand the thought of not being the one leading the conversation. Instead of acknowledging what you said, they immediately make it about them. It’s a subtle way of making sure they stay at the centre of things. Rather than letting you have your moment, they need to insert themselves into it.
5. “Well, what I would do is…”
Even when you’re not looking for advice, they’ll happily give it. They assume their perspective is the most important one, whether or not it’s actually helpful. It’s less about supporting you and more about making sure their opinion is heard. Instead of asking what you need, they jump straight into telling you what they’d do. While advice can be useful, this often feels more like a performance. It’s not about guiding you; it’s about proving they have all the answers.
6. “That’s nothing compared to what happened to me.”
Anytime you share an experience, they immediately diminish it by making their own seem bigger. Your story becomes just a stepping stone for them to talk about themselves. Rather than validating your feelings, they brush them aside in favour of their own. After a while, this makes conversations feel less like a two-way exchange and more like a monologue. No matter what you’re going through, they’ll always have a more extreme version. It’s not about sharing—it’s about keeping the attention on themselves.
7. “I was just thinking the exact same thing!”
Rather than engaging with your point, they find a way to make it about them. Even if they weren’t actually thinking it, they’ll claim they were. It’s a way of keeping themselves involved in every part of the conversation. This tends to happen when you’re in groups, where they want to prove they’re just as insightful or important. Instead of acknowledging your perspective, they try to claim ownership over it. It’s another way they subtly keep the focus on themselves.
8. “I’ve been through something just like that.”
Sometimes, people share similar experiences to build connection. But with this person, it’s not about relating — it’s about getting the spotlight back on themselves. They don’t ask follow-up questions or show much interest in your story. Instead, they immediately pivot to their own. It turns what should be a meaningful exchange into a competition. Rather than allowing you to be heard, they find a way to bring the spotlight back to themselves. Conversations start to feel repetitive because, no matter the topic, the focus always ends up on them.
9. “That’s funny because when I…”
Even playful moments get redirected. Instead of laughing with you or asking about your story, they jump in with their own. It’s as if they can’t let a moment pass without being involved. It might not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, it becomes noticeable. Every conversation follows the same pattern — whatever you say, they find a way to make it about themselves. It’s subtle, but it always leaves you feeling a little overshadowed.
10. “I totally get what you’re saying, but…”
Just when you think they’re going to acknowledge your point, they turn it around. They might agree for a second, but then they shift the focus back to themselves. Their perspective suddenly becomes the most important one in the conversation. Instead of leaving space for your thoughts, they immediately override them. Even if they do understand your point, they still make sure theirs takes priority. It’s a constant push to be the centre of attention, even in the subtlest ways.
11. “I know someone who went through that too.”
Rather than responding to your experience directly, they bring up someone else. It might seem like an attempt to relate, but really, it moves the focus away from you. Suddenly, the conversation isn’t about your story anymore—it’s about theirs. It’s a subtle way of redirecting attention. Instead of engaging with what you said, they shift to a different person, situation, or experience that somehow connects back to them. Your moment gets lost in the shuffle.
12. “That happened to me just last week!”
No matter what you bring up, they somehow have a recent, similar experience. It doesn’t matter if it’s personal, professional, or completely random — they always have a matching story. Their goal isn’t to relate but to keep the attention on themselves. It’s not that they can’t ever have similar experiences, but the pattern becomes predictable. Every conversation turns into a reflection of their life, no matter the original topic. They keep the focus on themselves without even realising they’re doing it.
13. “If you think about it, what I went through was basically the same.”
Even when situations are completely different, they’ll find a way to make them seem identical. They blur the details just enough to make your experience sound like theirs. The goal is to ensure that their story takes equal, if not greater, importance. It’s frustrating because it diminishes your unique experience. Rather than acknowledging the differences, they force a comparison. The conversation stops being about understanding and starts being about competing for attention.
14. “Wait, let me tell you what happened to me first.”
They can’t even let you finish before jumping in. Before you’ve had the chance to share your story, they’re already cutting in with theirs. It’s not about a mutual exchange; it’s about being heard first. This pattern makes conversations feel rushed and unbalanced. Instead of a natural flow, it turns into a battle for speaking time. You end up feeling like your words don’t matter as much as theirs.
