Nobody wants to be that person everyone dodges, but sometimes it happens without you even realise it.
You probably think you’re a decent person with a pretty okay personality, but if you do these things, it’s no wonder people don’t want to be around you if they don’t have to be. If you relate to any of the things on this list, it might be time to change your approach to social situations, that’s for sure.
1. You’re always complaining about something.
If your go-to conversation starter is a gripe about your day, the weather, or life in general, you might be a bit of a downer. Constant negativity is exhausting for people to be around. Try to balance out the moans with some positive chat — it’ll make a world of difference in how people see you.
2. You don’t respect personal space.
Are you a close talker? Do you touch people without permission? If you’re constantly in other people’s bubbles, they might be backing away for a reason. Everyone’s comfort zone is different, so be mindful of physical and emotional boundaries. Give people their space, and they’ll be more likely to welcome you into theirs.
3. You dominate every conversation.
If you find yourself doing all the talking and never listening, you might be a conversation hog. People enjoy dialogue, not monologues. Try to practise active listening and be interested in what other people have to say. It’s not a competition to see who can say the most.
4. You’re always asking for favours but never returning them.
Relationships are a two-way street. If you’re constantly asking for help but never offering it in return, people might start to feel used. Keep track of the give and take in your relationships. Offer to help people before they need to ask — it’ll make a huge difference in how people see you.
5. You gossip all day, every day.
Sure, a bit of gossip can be fun, but if you’re always talking about people behind their backs, people might worry you’re doing the same to them. Try to focus on more positive topics. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, maybe don’t say it at all.
6. You’re always late.
Consistently showing up late sends the message that you don’t value other people’s time. It’s disrespectful and can be really frustrating for those waiting on you. Make an effort to be punctual — it shows you’re reliable and considerate. If you’re running late, communicate it as soon as possible.
7. You overshare personal information.
While openness is good, there’s such a thing as TMI (too much information). If you’re spilling your deepest, darkest secrets to casual acquaintances, it might make them uncomfortable. Save the really personal stuff for close friends who’ve earned that level of trust. It’s okay to keep some things private.
8. You’re always trying to outdo everyone.
Source: Unsplash If someone shares a story, and you immediately try to top it, you might come across as competitive or attention-seeking. It’s okay to relate with your own experiences, but make sure you’re not always trying to steal the spotlight. Sometimes just listening and acknowledging other people is enough.
9. You’re not on top of your personal hygiene.
This one’s a bit awkward, but it needs to be said. If you’re not taking care of your personal hygiene, people might be avoiding you for obvious reasons. Regular showers, clean clothes, and good oral hygiene go a long way in social situations. Take care of yourself — it shows respect for yourself and other people.
10. You’re always on your phone in social situations.
If you’re constantly glued to your screen when you’re with people, you’re sending the message that you’d rather be somewhere else. It’s rude and makes people feel unimportant. Try to be present in the moment. Your notifications can wait — the people in front of you are more important.
11. You always find something to criticise in people.
Source: Unsplash Constantly pointing out people’s flaws or mistakes is a quick way to push people away. Nobody’s perfect, and constant criticism is draining. Try to balance any constructive feedback with positive comments. Focus on making people feel good about themselves rather than trying to tear them down.
12. You can’t take a joke.
If you’re always taking things personally or getting offended easily, people might start walking on eggshells around you. It’s okay to set boundaries, but try to lighten up a bit. Learn to laugh at yourself sometimes — it makes you more approachable and fun to be around.
13. You’re always trying to sell something.
If every conversation turns into a sales pitch for your latest venture or MLM scheme, people might start avoiding you to protect their wallets. There’s a time and place for business, but social gatherings aren’t it. Focus on building genuine relationships, not customer bases.
14. You’re a chronic interrupter.
Constantly cutting people off mid-sentence is frustrating and rude. It shows you’re not really listening and don’t value what people have to say. Practise patience and wait for natural pauses in conversation before speaking. Good communication is about give and take.
15. You’re always in crisis mode.
If you’re constantly caught up in drama and emergencies, it can be exhausting for those around you. While it’s okay to lean on friends during tough times, if every interaction feels like a crisis, people might start to pull away. Try to handle some issues on your own and bring more positivity to your relationships.
16. You’re a know-it-all.
Always being right (or thinking you are) can be really off-putting. It’s okay not to know everything, and it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. Show some humility and be open to learning from people. Nobody likes feeling like they’re being lectured all the time.
17. You don’t respect anyone’s time or commitments.
If you’re always cancelling plans last-minute or expecting people to drop everything for you, you might be taking your relationships for granted. Respect people’s schedules and commitments. Be reliable and considerate — it goes a long way in maintaining good relationships.
