In a committed relationship, open communication is key.
However, if there are certain things your partner just won’t discuss, no matter how much you try to broach the topic, they may not be as dedicated to you or your relationship as you think. Here are some topics they’ll likely dodge if they have one foot out the door.
1. They change the subject when you bring up future plans.
Whenever you start chatting about where you see yourselves in a few years, they suddenly remember an urgent email they need to send or a funny story they just have to tell you. This deflection tactic is a classic sign they’re not thinking long-term. Someone who’s all in will be excited to dream up future scenarios with you, not run from them.
2. They get uncomfortable discussing finances.
Money talk makes them squirm. Whether it’s about joint accounts, shared expenses, or long-term financial goals, they clam up or brush it off as “boring”. Their reluctance could mean they’re not ready to intertwine their life (and wallet) with yours. A committed partner understands that financial transparency is crucial for building a future together.
3. They avoid conversations about moving in together.
Whenever you float the idea of sharing a living space, they’ve got a ready list of excuses. “It’s not the right time”, “The property market is awful”, or “I’m too messy for you”. While these might be valid concerns, consistently avoiding the topic could mean they’re not ready to take that next step in commitment.
4. They steer clear of talking about meeting each other’s families.
Family introductions are a big deal, and someone who’s not fully committed might dodge this conversation like the plague. They might claim their family is “complicated” or that it’s “not the right time”. While family dynamics can indeed be tricky, a consistent avoidance of the topic might signal they’re not ready to integrate you into their life fully.
5. They shy away from discussions about your relationship status.
Are you exclusive? Are you boyfriend/girlfriend/partners? If these labels make them break out in a cold sweat, it might be a sign they’re not as invested as you. Someone who’s committed won’t be afraid of defining the relationship or acknowledging its seriousness to anyone else.
6. They change the subject when you talk about your feelings.
Emotional intimacy is crucial in a committed relationship. If your attempts to share your deeper feelings are met with subject changes or awkward silences, it could indicate they’re not ready for that level of closeness. A committed partner will want to understand your emotional world, not run from it.
7. They avoid discussions about past relationships.
While dwelling on exes isn’t healthy, a complete refusal to discuss past relationships can be a red flag. It might indicate unresolved issues or a fear of vulnerability. Someone who’s committed understands that past experiences shape us and is willing to share that part of their history with you.
8. They sidestep conversations about personal growth and life goals.
If they get fidgety when you talk about your ambitions or try to discuss their own life goals, it might mean they’re not picturing you in their future. A committed partner will be eager to share their dreams with you and support yours, seeing personal growth as something you can encourage in each other.
9. They dodge talks about holidays or trips together.
Planning a getaway requires commitment, both in terms of time and money. If they always have an excuse for why they can’t plan that weekend break or summer holiday with you, it might indicate they’re not ready to invest in shared experiences. Someone who’s all in will be excited about creating memories together.
10. They’re reluctant to discuss how you handle disagreements.
Conflict resolution is a crucial skill in any relationship. If they brush off attempts to talk about how you handle arguments or differences of opinion, it could mean they’re not invested in improving your communication. A committed partner understands the importance of working through issues together.
11. They avoid conversations about physical intimacy and needs.
Open communication about physical intimacy is vital for a healthy relationship. If they shy away from discussions about your sex life, desires, or boundaries, it might indicate a lack of commitment to your mutual satisfaction and comfort. A fully invested partner will want to ensure you’re both happy in this aspect of your relationship.
12. They change the subject when you bring up shared responsibilities.
Whether it’s household chores, pet care, or mutual commitments, someone who’s not fully invested might dodge these conversations. They might see these shared responsibilities as too binding. A committed partner understands that being in a relationship means teamwork and is willing to discuss how to share the load.
13. They’re uncomfortable discussing their personal struggles or vulnerabilities.
If they clam up when you try to discuss their worries, fears, or personal challenges, it might mean they’re not ready to be fully vulnerable with you. True commitment involves being open about our struggles and allowing our partner to support us. Someone who’s all in will trust you with their more difficult emotions and experiences.
14. They avoid talking about your role in their social circle.
If they’re reluctant to discuss introducing you to their friends or including you in social events, it could be a sign they’re keeping you at arm’s length. A committed partner will want to integrate you into their social life and be proud to have you by their side at gatherings and events.
15. They sidestep discussions about personal values and beliefs.
Conversations about core values, religious beliefs, or political views might make them uncomfortable. While these topics can be sensitive, avoiding them entirely could indicate they’re not ready to see if you’re truly compatible on a deeper level. Someone who’s committed will want to understand your worldview and share their own, even if they don’t always align perfectly.
