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UnsplashWe’ve all had those nights. A few drinks in, your phone starts buzzing, and before you know it, you’re firing off hilariously bad texts. But what if your zodiac sign influences the kind of drunk text you’re most likely to send? From impulsive declarations to philosophical ramblings, let’s explore the cringe-worthy (but oh-so-entertaining) world of “drunk texting,” astrology style.
Aries
Aries are bold and impulsive, even more so with some liquid courage. Expect a direct and slightly impatient text that gets right to the point. Think: “Hey u up? 😉” They won’t beat around the bush. Maybe a follow-up text a few minutes later: “Well? Answer me! 🤨” If they don’t get a quick response, they definitely won’t be afraid to double-text.
Taurus
Taurus loves their food and their comfort. You can expect a drunk text from Taurus to involve a lament about some delicious snack. It might go something like: “Hey… thinking about that amazing meal we shared… 🤤 (don’t respond if you’re hungry).” They might even follow up with a blurry photo of their half-eaten takeout container and the caption: “This was SO good 😩”.
Gemini
Geminis are social butterflies who always have something to say. When they’re tipsy, prepare for the rambling update. They might text, “OMG! You won’t believe what just happened… gotta tell you in the morning! 😜” The suspense will be real. Of course, there’s a chance they might forget what it was by the next day, leaving you forever curious.
Cancer
Cancers are deeply emotional and might wear their heart on their sleeve after a few drinks. A tipsy Cancer text might be a vulnerable one like, “Feeling emotional rn. Just need someone to 🥺 (don’t judge)”. They might also send a flurry of sentimental texts reminiscing about good times, complete with nostalgic emojis.
Leo
Leos love being the center of attention, and it doesn’t change when they’re a little tipsy. Expect a classic selfie or a boastful proclamation like, “Just saw the most amazing pic of myself! Had to share with my biggest fan 😉 (you)”. They might even demand compliments in return with a playful, “Don’t you agree? 😏”.
Virgo
Virgos are practical and detail-oriented. Surprisingly, they might be the ones to send a surprisingly coherent drunk text, maybe even admitting they were wrong about something! It could be something like, “Actually, I think you might be right about that thing we discussed earlier. 🤔 Sorry for being stubborn!”. But don’t get too excited – they’ll likely follow that up with a detailed explanation of WHY they had been right initially… even while admitting they’re wrong now.
Libra
Libras value harmony and might struggle with making even simple decisions after a few drinks. Expect a flurry of texts seeking your opinion on literally anything. “Pizza or tacos?? I can’t decide 😩 Help! “ They may even start a poll in their group chat just to gain some clarity on their late-night munchies. Don’t be surprised if they change their mind 3 times before finally ordering… and then text you again wondering if they made the right choice.
Scorpio
Scorpios are known for their intensity, which can get amplified with some alcohol. Their drunk texts might be a little mysterious and flirty, hinting at secrets they’re ready to reveal. Think: “I know something you don’t… 😏 Want to find out?”. They’ll likely play a tantalizing game of revealing just enough to pique your interest. Be prepared for them to disappear mid-conversation, leaving you wondering what that was all about until they message again the next day.
Sagittarius
Adventurous Sagittarius sees life as a party, and they get even more exuberant when tipsy. Expect random, enthusiastic texts about their epic night out. Prepare for blurry photos of a crowded bar or a philosophical text at 3 AM like, “We’re all made of stars, dude 🤯”. They might even challenge you to a spontaneous karaoke battle or invite you to crash the after-party happening across town.
Capricorn
Capricorns are normally responsible, but even they might let loose with a few drinks. Their drunk texts might involve a surprising and uncharacteristically silly joke, perhaps a terrible pun. They might also send a carefully composed text outlining their ambitious plans for the next day, while completely forgetting it’s 2 AM. Don’t be surprised if it’s followed by a text the next morning apologizing for the late hour but confirming they are already up and crushing their to-do list.
Aquarius
Independent Aquarius marches to the beat of their own drum, and their drunk texts are equally unique. Expect them to send you a link to an obscure conspiracy theory video or a random meme with no explanation. They might even draft a manifesto about changing the world, starting with their revolution against pants (optional, naturally). If you reply with a confused “???” they might never mention it again, or launch into a passionate explanation that makes absolutely no sense.
Pisces
Dreamy and artistic, Pisces might get lost in nostalgia with a few drinks in them. They could send you a heartfelt message about how much they appreciate you, filled with sweet emojis. Or, they might text a snippet of a song lyric that perfectly captures how they’re feeling – cryptic, but undeniably poetic. Expect a touch of the dramatic – their drunk texts are infused with the deep emotions they might normally keep hidden.
