Just because your partner doesn’t have a physical relationship with someone else doesn’t mean they’re not being unfaithful.
Emotional cheating can be just as damaging to a relationship as physical infidelity, but it’s often harder to recognise. It might not involve physical touch, but it can still create a rift, hurt feelings, and even break up trust. So, where’s the line, and what happens next? Here’s what you need to know about emotional cheating and how to navigate it.
1. What is emotional cheating?
Source: Unsplash Emotional cheating occurs when you form an intimate emotional connection with someone outside your primary relationship, often at the expense of the emotional bond with your partner. It’s not about physical attraction, but about confiding in someone else in a way that you’re supposed to reserve for your partner.
2. It starts with emotional intimacy.
At the heart of emotional cheating is emotional intimacy. That means sharing personal thoughts, secrets, and feelings that you don’t share with your partner. It could be anything from discussing life challenges to sharing your fears or desires. When these exchanges are more frequent with someone else, it crosses into emotionally inappropriate territory.
3. You hide the relationship from your partner.
If you find yourself keeping secrets or hiding conversations with this person from your partner, it’s a sign that the relationship is stepping into emotional cheating territory. Secrecy often points to a deeper emotional investment that you may not feel comfortable sharing.
4. You prioritise the other person’s needs over your partner’s.
Emotional cheating can also be seen when you start prioritising the emotional well-being or needs of the other person over your partner. If you’re offering support, attention, and empathy to someone else in ways that should be reserved for your relationship, it’s time to reassess where your emotional energy is going.
5. You feel more connected to the other person than to your partner.
When you start feeling more emotionally aligned or connected to someone else, it signals a shift away from your partner. You may find that you look forward to their messages, or that you feel more understood by them than by your partner.
6. You experience a deep sense of excitement from the connection.
Feeling excitement or thrill from the emotional connection you’re forming with someone else is a key indicator of emotional cheating. It’s like the emotional bond gives you a high, similar to a new romantic connection. These feelings can blur the line between friendship and something more intimate.
7. You start comparing your partner to the other person.
If you begin comparing your partner to the person you’re emotionally connected with — whether it’s in terms of empathy, conversation quality, or emotional support — that’s a big red flag. This comparison can create dissatisfaction in your relationship and a sense of emotional distance from your partner.
8. There’s a sense of guilt or shame.
Feeling guilty or ashamed about your emotional attachment to someone else is a sign that you recognise it as inappropriate or hurtful to your relationship. The guilt comes from the awareness that your emotional investment in someone else is crossing a boundary.
9. Your partner begins to feel neglected.
If your partner starts noticing that you’re emotionally distant, less available, or less attentive, they might begin to feel neglected. The imbalance in emotional investment can make them feel left out or less significant in your life.
10. The emotional connection becomes a source of secrecy.
When the connection starts to become a source of secrecy, it’s a clear sign of emotional cheating. If you’re concealing how often you talk to this person or the depth of the emotional connection, it indicates that it’s straying into a territory you know your partner wouldn’t approve of.
11. You’ve stopped looking for emotional support from your partner.
One of the key signs of emotional cheating is when you start looking for emotional support, comfort, and validation from someone other than your partner. It undermines the foundation of your primary relationship, which should ideally be the source of your emotional refuge.
12. You feel conflicted or torn between two people.
Feeling conflicted or torn between your partner and someone else is an emotional sign that you’re giving too much attention to the other person. The emotional tug-of-war can create confusion and stress as your emotional allegiance is divided.
13. You feel emotionally close to someone but aren’t physically involved.
While physical involvement may not occur, the emotional connection can feel just as intimate, if not more so. That connection can sometimes feel more intense than physical attraction, creating a bond that’s difficult to break.
14. You’re unwilling to set boundaries.
In a healthy relationship, boundaries are important for emotional well-being. If you’re unwilling to set boundaries with the person you’re emotionally connected with, it suggests that you’re more invested in that connection than in preserving the integrity of your primary relationship.
15. What happens next?
If you recognise these signs, it’s time to take a hard look at your relationship. Emotional cheating is damaging, but it doesn’t always mean the end of the relationship. Acknowledging it and addressing it through open, honest communication can help rebuild trust and restore balance. If the emotional connection with the other person doesn’t diminish or if your partner is hurt by your actions, it may require working with a professional to repair the relationship.
