16 Hidden Reasons You Hate Being Told What To Do

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Nobody likes being told what to do — it’s frustrating, annoying, and can make you feel like a child being scolded.

But have you ever stopped to think about why it bothers you so much? There are actually some deep-rooted psychological reasons behind your resistance to being ordered around. It’s time to dig into those hidden motivations and shed some light on why you bristle at the thought of someone else calling the shots. Here are 16 hidden reasons you don’t like being told what to do.

1. You crave autonomy and control.

As humans, we have a fundamental need for autonomy — the ability to make our own choices and control our own lives. When someone tells you what to do, it feels like they’re stripping away that autonomy and taking control away from you. It’s a threat to your sense of self and your ability to navigate the world on your own terms. You want to be the one steering the ship, not just a passenger along for the ride.

2. You don’t like feeling subordinate.

Being told what to do puts you in a subordinate position, like you’re beneath the person giving the orders. It’s a power dynamic that feels uncomfortable and unfair. You don’t want to feel like you’re less than or that you have to defer to someone else’s authority. You want to be seen as an equal, not someone who can be bossed around or controlled. It’s a matter of pride and self-respect.

3. You have trust issues.

When someone tells you what to do, it requires a level of trust — trust in their judgment, their intentions, and their ability to make good decisions. If you have trust issues, whether from past experiences or just a general wariness of people, it can be hard to hand over that trust. You might question their motives, doubt their competence, or feel like they don’t have your best interests at heart. That lack of trust makes it hard to follow their lead.

4. You’re naturally independent.

Some people are just wired to be more independent than others. If you’ve always been the type to march to the beat of your own drum, being told what to do can feel like a personal affront. You’re used to relying on yourself, making your own decisions, and carving your own path. Having someone else dictate your actions goes against your natural inclination towards self-sufficiency and self-reliance. You don’t need someone else to tell you what to do — you’ve got this.

5. You don’t like feeling controlled.

Being told what to do can feel like you’re being controlled, like someone else is pulling the strings and dictating your every move. It’s a loss of personal freedom and agency that can be incredibly frustrating. You don’t want to feel like a puppet on a string, dancing to someone else’s tune. You want to be in control of your own life and your own choices, not at the mercy of someone else’s whims or demands.

6. You have a strong sense of self.

If you have a strong sense of self — a clear understanding of who you are, what you stand for, and what you want in life — being told what to do can feel like a violation of that identity. It’s like someone is trying to impose their will or their values onto you, ignoring or overriding your own sense of self. You want to be true to yourself and live according to your own principles, not bend to someone else’s expectations or demands.

7. You don’t like feeling incompetent.

When someone tells you what to do, it can feel like they’re implying that you’re incapable of figuring it out on your own. It’s a blow to your ego and your sense of competence. You don’t want to feel like you’re not smart enough, skilled enough, or experienced enough to handle things without someone else’s guidance. Being told what to do can make you feel inadequate or like you’re not measuring up.

8. You have a rebellious streak.

Some people just have a natural inclination to rebel against authority or push back against being told what to do. If you’ve always been a bit of a rebel or a nonconformist, being ordered around is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. You don’t like feeling constrained or forced to comply with someone else’s rules or expectations. You want to do things your own way, even if it means going against the grain.

9. You don’t like feeling disrespected.

Being told what to do can feel disrespectful, like the person giving the orders doesn’t value your intelligence, your capabilities, or your autonomy. It’s a lack of regard for your feelings and your right to make your own choices. You want to be treated with respect and consideration, not just barked orders at like a subordinate. When someone tells you what to do without any regard for your perspective, it feels like a personal slight.

10. You have a low tolerance for authority.

Some people just have a hard time with authority figures and being told what to do. Maybe you had negative experiences with authority in the past, or maybe you just don’t like the power dynamics that come with hierarchical relationships. Whatever the reason, you have a low tolerance for being ordered around or having someone else call the shots. You want to be your own boss and answer to yourself, not defer to someone else’s authority.

11. You’re resistant to change.

Being told what to do often means changing your behaviour or your plans in some way. If you’re someone who doesn’t like change or who finds comfort in routine and predictability, being told to do something different can be unsettling. You might resist the change because it feels unfamiliar or because it requires you to step outside your comfort zone. You like things the way they are and don’t want someone else forcing you to switch things up.

12. You don’t like feeling rushed or pressured.

When someone tells you what to do, there’s often an element of pressure or urgency involved. They want you to act now, without taking the time to think things through or consider your options. If you’re someone who doesn’t like feeling rushed or pressured, being told what to do can be stressful and overwhelming. You want the freedom to move at your own pace and make decisions on your own timeline, not be pushed into action by someone else’s demands.

13. You have a fear of failure.

Being told what to do can trigger a fear of failure, especially if the task is challenging or unfamiliar. You might worry that you won’t be able to live up to the person’s expectations, or that you’ll make a mistake and look foolish. That fear of failure can make you resistant to being told what to do because you don’t want to risk falling short or disappointing someone. You’d rather stick to what you know and avoid the potential for failure.

14. You have a strong sense of fairness.

If you have a strong sense of fairness and a belief in equal treatment, being told what to do can feel unjust or unfair. You might wonder why you’re being singled out, or why someone else gets to call the shots. You want everyone to be held to the same standards and given the same opportunities, not be subject to arbitrary orders or unequal power dynamics. Being told what to do can feel like a violation of your sense of fairness.

15. You don’t like feeling indebted.

When someone tells you what to do, there’s often an implicit expectation that you’ll comply or that you owe them something in return. That sense of obligation or indebtedness can be uncomfortable, especially if you’re someone who values your independence and self-sufficiency. You don’t want to feel like you’re beholden to someone else or that you have to do what they say just because they told you to. You want to make your own choices, free from any sense of duty or obligation.

16. You have a need for autonomy in decision-making.

Ultimately, the core reason you don’t like being told what to do is that it violates your need for autonomy in decision-making. You want to be the one calling the shots in your own life, weighing the options and making choices based on your own values, goals, and preferences. When someone else tries to make those decisions for you, it feels like an infringement on your personal sovereignty. You want to be the architect of your own life, not just a passive recipient of someone else’s plans.