While a child certainly doesn’t need both a mum and dad to grow up to be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted, not having one of your parents around can definitely affect them.
For girls, growing up without a father can be especially tough — and no, not because they need male leadership or presence in their lives. It’s more because they often miss out on some of the father/daughter dynamics that so many girls and women treasure as they get older. It should go without saying that these experiences don’t apply across the board since everyone is different, but for many daughters, not having their dad around can impact their lives in some big ways.
1. It can mess with their sense of self-worth.
For many daughters, the absence of a father figure can leave them unsure of their value. Without regular validation from their dad, they may find themselves questioning their importance and struggling with confidence, whether it’s about their abilities or appearance. That feeling can follow them into adulthood, often impacting their social and professional lives. To build a stronger sense of worth, they’ll need to put in the internal work, focusing on achievable goals and celebrating small wins. Over time, with support from people they trust, they can begin to value themselves for who they are, growing more confident and resilient as they do so.
2. Trusting men becomes a lot harder without a solid male role model.
Without a father around, forming deep connections can be a real challenge. The lack of a reliable role model can leave them unsure of how to fully trust men, whether friends or romantic partners. It can lead to cautious or even avoidant behaviours, making it hard to connect emotionally. But with patience and a little self-awareness, these barriers can be broken down. Therapy or just honest, supportive conversations can help daughters work through these fears and open up more. Over time, with consistent effort, they can create more fulfilling and trusting relationships.
3. Constantly seeking approval from men can be a big pattern as they get older.
The absence of a father figure often means daughters look to other men for validation. They might prioritise men’s opinions over their own, or go out of their way to please in work or personal relationships. But flipping this focus to self-affirmation can really make a difference. By recognising their own achievements, however small, and celebrating their personal growth, they can start to appreciate themselves independently of others’ approval. That change helps create a more balanced approach to life, where they don’t rely on external validation to feel good about themselves.
4. Independence is great, but it can make asking for help a lot harder.
Growing up without a father to rely on teaches daughters to stand on their own two feet. Their self-sufficiency often turns into resilience and problem-solving skills that serve them well in life. However, that independence can sometimes make it hard for them to ask for help or share their burdens. Learning that vulnerability isn’t a weakness, but actually a strength, can help them strike a better balance. Accepting support when needed improves their emotional health and helps build deeper connections with people.
5. Understanding male perspectives can be a bit of a challenge.
When there’s no father figure around, it can make understanding where men are coming from a little trickier. Whether it’s in work, friendships, or romantic relationships, they might be uncomfortable or uncertain when it comes to interacting with men. But by building relationships with positive male role models, they can gain valuable insights and develop a better understanding of different viewpoints. These connections help create empathy, making it easier for them to navigate various relationships with men.
6. They might have a fear of abandonment, particularly when it comes to men in their lives.
The absence of a father can plant deep fears of being abandoned by other men in their lives, something that carries over into other areas. Even small misunderstandings can feel like rejection or exclusion, leaving these girls and women sensitive to being left behind. It’s important for them to find stability through reliable, trusting relationships. Therapy or other support systems can help manage these fears and allow them to build stronger, more secure connections with those around them. With time, they can develop better tools to cope with these anxieties, making them feel more grounded and trusting in relationships.
7. Setting and maintaining clear boundaries with men doesn’t come naturally.
Without consistent guidance, establishing healthy boundaries with men can be a challenge. Some might have trouble saying no, or may struggle to communicate their needs clearly, with male friends, colleagues, and partners. Sadly, this can lead to imbalanced relationships or feelings of being taken advantage of. Learning to assert themselves and understand their limits is a skill that can be developed with time and practice. Support from close friends, mentors, or professionals can help guide them in setting and maintaining boundaries, protecting their emotional health, while allowing for healthier, more respectful relationships.
8. There’s often a real need for stability and predictability in life.
Growing up with an absent parent often creates a strong desire for stability. These girls and women may crave structure in their lives, whether in routines or relationships, as a way to compensate for the unpredictability they’ve experienced. It can show up in a preference for predictability, avoiding change, or fearing risk. While wanting stability is natural, embracing flexibility can bring balance. Learning to cope with change and uncertainty makes them more resilient, allowing them to feel grounded even when life doesn’t go as planned.
9. Their views on family roles can get a bit complicated.
Not having a father figure can really shape how daughters view family dynamics. Some may idealise the role a parent should play, while others might feel disconnected or indifferent to it. Exploring these perspectives through self-reflection or conversations with trusted people can help them process their feelings and find a more balanced view of family. It allows them to create healthier, more accepting relationships with their families or loved ones, embracing different family structures and roles as they are.
10. They build emotional resilience, even though it’s tough.
Growing up without a constant role model often builds emotional strength. Daughters may learn to adapt to complicated situations early on, developing perseverance and problem-solving skills. These qualities become key strengths as they grow older, helping them navigate challenges with a greater sense of confidence. Recognising these strengths and celebrating how far they’ve come allows them to view their experiences as empowering. They can turn past adversity into something that drives future growth and self-discovery.
11. It can shape how they approach intimacy and relationships.
A girl’s early experiences with an absent parent can hugely affect how they approach romantic relationships. Some may shy away from emotional intimacy, fearing hurt, while others may pursue relationships to fill the gaps left by their childhood. By recognising these patterns, they can work through them to form healthier relationships. Whether through reflection or therapy, understanding the roots of these behaviours helps build romantic partnerships based on mutual trust, respect, and emotional connection.
12. Their bonds with their mums tend to be even stronger.
In many cases, the absence of a father leads to a closer relationship with the remaining caregiver, often the mother. These bonds can become a huge source of support and guidance. While this closeness can be a source of strength, it’s also important for daughters to maintain their individuality within these relationships. Cultivating their independence, while still holding onto that bond, allows them to grow while keeping a healthy balance of connection and self-reliance.
13. It often leads to a lifelong journey of figuring out who they are.
The absence of a father often leads daughters on a lifelong journey of self-discovery. That process involves reflecting on past experiences, uncovering personal strengths, and figuring out who they really are. While it can be complicated and challenging, it’s also a rewarding part of their growth. With support from loved ones or professionals, they can explore their identities and create meaningful lives that reflect their values and aspirations, free from the shadows of their early experiences.
