Being a bore who clears rooms is unacceptable.
Want people lining up for your company instead of avoiding you? Here are 15 extremely easy tips for becoming genuinely engaging.
1. Ask more questions about the other person.
Stop droning on about your stamp collection — that’s a total drag. Flip it around and ask them questions about their lives, hobbies, views, anything. People love talking about their favourite topic: themselves. Keep asking follow-ups and they’ll be hooked.
2. Cut out the self-deprecating comments.
That “aw shucks, little old me” stuff is annoying. Have some backbone and self-assurance instead. If you’re funny, own it rather than brushing off compliments. Humblebragging is still bragging, and it’s see-through. Laugh off slip-ups without harping on how stupid you are.
3. Confront your insecurities head-on.
Okay, so you’re not Dwayne Johnson. Stop pointing out your flaws first — it reeks of insecurity and is pathetic. Work on accepting yourself, quirks and all. If you’re comfortable in your skin, that vibe will come through.
4. Stop hedging and rambling.
Wishy-washy phrases like “I kind of think maybe we should possibly…” and going off on tangents is boring. Just spit it out directly! Stay focused and ditch the irrelevant rambling.
5. Let your quirky side show.
Don’t hide your unique passions and quirks to seem “normal.” If you collect gnomes or do magic tricks, own it proudly. A little weird enthusiasm piques curiosity. Just don’t be obnoxious about it.
6. Keep challenging yourself.
Falling into a rut breeds dullness and stagnation. Commit to constant self-improvement, whether learning French, playing guitar, or training for a race. Mastering new skills re-energizes you.
7. Travel more.
Fresh experiences jolt you out of boring routines. You’ll captivate with wild tales from backpacking South America or eating exotic foods. Seeing new places restokes your sense of wonder.
8. Expand what you read, watch and listen to.
Shallow pop culture makes for banal chat. Dig into meatier books, films, podcasts, and lectures across diverse topics. You’ll have way more substantial things to discuss.
9. Become a killer storyteller.
Spinning riveting yarns has fuelled human connection forever. Hone comedic timing, plot choreography, vivid phrasing. Mesmerize others with hilarious, suspenseful personal tales. Stories of growth or failure resonate most.
10. Use self-deprecating humour carefully.
Some well-timed self-effacing humour can be charming and relatable. But use it sparingly — constant self-putdowns suggest low self-worth. Poke fun at minor foibles, not for pity points.
11. Stay up on current events.
Being oblivious to news beyond celebrity gossip projects apathy. Keep informed on major things happening in politics, business, sports, culture. You’ll spark way meatier discussions.
12. Dig into topics you’re passionate about.
What fires you up? Find subjects that genuinely excite you, like feminism, cinema, entrepreneurship. Study them obsessively so you can discourse with real expertise. Authoritative passion trumps fake nonchalance.
13. Own your failures fully.
Quit making lame excuses when you screw up. Have the guts to say, “I royally messed that up.” Real accountability and desire to improve earn way more respect than deflecting blame.
14. Be authentically you.
People sniff out phoniness immediately. Be your genuine self, flaws and all. Those worth having around will appreciate the honesty over insincere social masking.
15. Make solid eye contact.
Glancing away or seeming distracted screams awkwardness. Hold steady eye contact, keep your shoulders squared, speak clearly. Project warmth, openness, presence. Confidence attracts people.
