Even the happiest couples and the best of friends sometimes end up in terrible fights.
Whether it was down to miscommunication, emotions running too high, or a genuine reaction to something that happened, things got out of hand, and you’re not sure how to move forward. If you value the other person’s presence in your life and want to keep them there, here are some ways to start making amends and get back on the right track.
1. Give yourself a breather.
Sometimes you just need to step away and cool off. Go for a walk, blast some music, or do whatever helps you chill out. Don’t try to sort things out when you’re still fuming — it’ll probably make things worse. Anyway, taking a timeout isn’t the same as giving up; it’s about coming back to the issue with a clearer head.
2. Own your part in the mess.
It takes two to tango, right? Be honest with yourself about where you messed up. Maybe you said some things you shouldn’t have or overreacted. Recognising your own mistakes is the first step to fixing them. Plus, taking responsibility shows maturity and can often encourage the other person to do the same.
3. Don’t let pride get in the way.
Swallowing your pride isn’t easy, but it’s often necessary. If you know you were in the wrong, be the bigger person and admit it. A simple “I’m sorry, I was being a right idiot” can go a long way. Just remember, apologising doesn’t make you weak; it actually takes a lot of strength to own up to your mistakes.
4. Actually listen to what they’re saying.
When you’re ready to talk it out, really listen. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Try to understand where they’re coming from, even if you don’t agree with everything they’re saying. You might be surprised at what you learn when you genuinely try to see things from their perspective.
5. Ditch the blame game.
Pointing fingers and playing the blame game won’t solve anything. Instead of focusing on who’s at fault, try to figure out how you can both do better next time. Shift your mindset from “winning” the argument to finding a solution that works for both of you.
6. Find some common ground.
Even in the worst fights, there’s usually something you can agree on. Maybe you both want to improve your communication or agree that the issue got blown out of proportion. Start there and work your way forward. Meeting each other in the middle can be a great way to reconnect and start rebuilding.
7. Don’t drag other people into it.
Resist the urge to vent to all your mates or post about it on social media. It might feel good in the moment, but it’ll likely make things worse in the long run. Keep it between you and the person you’re arguing with. Involving other people often complicates things and can make reconciliation harder.
8. Give it some time.
Sometimes, you just need to sleep on it. Things often look different in the morning. Don’t expect everything to be sorted immediately — healing takes time. It’s okay to take a step back and let emotions settle before trying to resolve things.
9. Learn from it.
Every argument is a chance to learn something. Think about what triggered the fight and how you could handle similar situations better in the future. It’s not about winning, it’s about growing. Use this experience as a stepping stone to improve your relationship and communication skills.
10. Don’t keep score.
Holding on to past fights and bringing them up in every argument is a guaranteed way to never move forward. Once you’ve sorted things out, let it go. Don’t use it as ammunition in future disagreements. Keeping a mental tally of wrongs will only breed resentment and prevent true reconciliation.
11. Show them you’re making an effort.
Actions speak louder than words. If you’ve agreed to make changes, follow through. Small gestures can go a long way in rebuilding trust and showing you’re committed to moving forward. Consistency in your efforts is key — one grand gesture isn’t as meaningful as ongoing, sincere attempts to improve.
12. Be patient with each other.
Moving on takes time, and you might both be a bit raw for a while. Cut each other some slack and remember that healing isn’t always a straight line. There might be moments when old feelings resurface, and that’s okay — what matters is how you handle those moments together.
13. Don’t sweep it under the rug.
Source: Unsplash While you shouldn’t dwell on the fight, ignoring it completely isn’t healthy either. Make sure you’ve properly addressed the issue before trying to move on, or it’ll likely crop up again. Unresolved issues have a way of festering and causing bigger problems down the line.
14. Remember why you care.
Source: Unsplash At the end of the day, remind yourself why this person is important to you. Focus on the good stuff in your relationship. It’ll help put the argument into perspective and motivate you to work things out. Keeping sight of the bigger picture can give you the strength to push through the tough times and come out stronger on the other side.
