Most people would like to think that they’d never be silly enough to end up in a cult, but it happens more often than you’d think.
These organisations (for lack of a better word) target vulnerable people and use all kinds of manipulative tactics that can fool even the most intelligent and street wise people. If you find yourself in one of these groups and desperately want out as soon as possible, here’s how to do so safely.
1. Don’t rush into anything drastic.
It might be tempting to make a big, dramatic exit, but slow and steady wins the race here. Take your time to plan and prepare. Rushing could put you in danger or leave you vulnerable, so don’t do anything rash.
2. Reach out to people you trust on the outside.
If you’ve got family or friends outside the cult, now’s the time to reconnect. They can offer support, a place to stay, and a reality check when you need it. Just be careful about who you trust — make sure they’re not connected to the cult in any way.
3. Educate yourself about cult tactics.
Understanding how cults operate can help you see through their manipulation. Read up on mind control techniques, emotional abuse, and cult dynamics. Once you know how it works, the spell is broken. Organisations like The Family Survival Trust can help with education and support.
4. Start squirrelling away resources.
If you can, start saving money in a separate account. Gather important documents like your National Insurance card, passport, or birth certificate. Having these resources will make your transition smoother. Think of it as packing an escape bag, but for your whole life.
5. Get help from a trained professional.
A therapist or counsellor who specialises in cult recovery can be a lifesaver. They can help you process your experiences and give you tools to cope. This will make the transition — as well as the journey of processing the trauma you’ve experienced — just a little bit smoother.
6. Be prepared for an emotional rollercoaster.
Leaving a cult isn’t just about physically walking away. It’s an emotional up and down that can really throw you for a loop. You might feel guilt, fear, anger, or even grief. That’s all normal. Be gentle with yourself and remember that healing takes time.
7. Create a safety plan.
Some cults can get nasty when members leave. Have a plan in place for your safety. This might include changing your phone number, moving to a new area, or even involving the police if necessary. Think of it as your personal witness protection programme.
8. Reconnect with your own identity.
Cults often strip away your sense of self, so start rediscovering who you are outside the group. What do you like? What are your beliefs? This can be a rewarding journey that slowly but surely builds your self-confidence as well as your self-worth.
9. Be wary of the information vacuum.
Cults often control what information members can access. As you leave, you might feel overwhelmed by all the new info. Take it slow, fact-check things, and don’t believe everything you read. Don’t be too hard on yourself if everything feels overwhelming at first. This will get better with time!
10. Find a support group.
Connecting with people who’ve left cults can be incredibly helpful. They get what you’re going through in a way others might not. It’s like joining a club, but instead of book lovers or football fans, it’s the “We Escaped a Cult and Lived to Tell the Tale” club.
11. Be prepared for pushback.
The cult might try to lure you back or turn other people against you, or they might spread rumours or try to make you feel guilty. Don’t give in! Stay strong and remember why you’re leaving. It might be hard, but deep down, you know you’re far better off away from them.
12. Take care of your physical health.
Stress can do a number on your body. Make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and staying active. Your physical body needs to be in a good place so that your mind and heart can make it through in one piece.
13. Be patient with yourself.
Adjusting to life outside the cult takes time. You might make mistakes or have setbacks, and that’s okay. You’re learning a whole new way of living. It’s like moving to a foreign country — everything’s new, and it takes time to find your feet.
14. Focus on building a new life.
As you distance yourself from the cult, focus on creating a life you love. Pursue education, build new relationships, find a job you enjoy. It’s like you’re the architect of your new life, and every positive step is another brick in the foundation.
