There’s something particularly devastating about feeling like you’re letting your family down in some way.
Whether it’s during awkward dinner conversations or just that nagging feeling when you’re around them, it can be hard to shake. But here’s the thing: Not only are you likely NOT a failure at all, but your family loves and accepts you just as you are — you don’t need to prove anything to them. Here’s how to deal with feeling like a failure and start loving yourself as much as they love you (or at least accepting yourself a bit more).
1. Remember, nobody has it all figured out.
It’s easy to assume everyone else knows what they’re doing, but let’s be real—life’s messy for everyone. Your family might seem like they’ve got it together, but behind the scenes, they’ve got their own stuff going on. So, take a breath and remind yourself that it’s okay not to have all the answers right now.
2. Decide what success means to *you*.
Forget what anyone else says success should look like. If waking up in the morning and making a decent cup of tea feels like a win, then that’s your success. You’re the only one living your life, so let yourself define what matters most.
3. Spot what’s triggering the feeling.
Take a second to figure out why you’re feeling like this. Is it something someone said? Or maybe it’s just an old fear bubbling up. Once you know what’s sparking the feeling, you can work on calming it down. Sometimes, just naming it helps.
4. Look at the good stuff you’ve done.
When was the last time you gave yourself credit for something? Maybe you helped a mate through a tough time, or you’ve stuck with something even when it wasn’t easy. Those things count. Write them down if it helps—they’re worth remembering.
5. Keep your distance from negativity.
If someone in your family tends to make you feel worse about yourself, it’s okay to take a step back. You don’t have to engage in every conversation or spend loads of time with them. Protecting your mental peace isn’t selfish; it’s smart.
6. Stay in your own lane.
Life isn’t a race, and it’s not about ticking off a checklist of what you’re “supposed” to do. Focus on what feels right for you instead of worrying about what other people are up to. Your path is yours, and that’s enough.
7. Practice a bit of gratitude.
Sometimes, when everything feels a bit rubbish, it helps to shift focus to what’s going right. Maybe it’s having a laugh with a mate, a good meal, or even just a decent night’s sleep. Little things can add up and remind you life’s not all bad.
8. Spend more time with the ones who get you.
Not every family member will make you feel great, but there’s usually someone who does. Maybe it’s your nan who always sees the best in you, or a cousin who just gets your sense of humour. Stick close to those people—they’re your safe space.
9. Say what’s on your mind.
Sometimes, family doesn’t realise how their words or actions are affecting you. If it feels right, try having a chat about how you’re feeling. You don’t have to get deep—just letting them know what’s up can help ease some of the tension.
10. Do things that make you feel good.
When you’re feeling a bit low, throw yourself into something you enjoy. Whether it’s cooking, drawing, or going for a walk, doing stuff that lights you up can shift your focus and remind you that you’re more than just these feelings.
11. Let go of family pressure.
It’s easy to get caught up in what your family expects of you, but at the end of the day, it’s your life. If their expectations don’t match up with what you want, that’s okay. You’re allowed to carve out your own version of what’s right for you.
12. Talk to someone outside the family.
Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or even a colleague you trust, sharing your feelings with someone who isn’t in the thick of it can be a huge relief. They might give you a fresh perspective or just listen without judgment, which can make all the difference.
13. Work on feeling good about yourself.
Building your confidence doesn’t have to mean big, flashy changes. It can be as simple as setting a small goal and achieving it, or taking care of yourself in a way that feels meaningful. Feeling good about yourself makes family pressure easier to shrug off.
14. Own what makes you *you*.
There’s nobody else quite like you, and that’s a good thing. Whether you’re a great storyteller, a killer cook, or the one everyone turns to for advice, you bring something valuable to the table. Don’t lose sight of that.
15. Be kind to yourself.
Source: Unsplash Feeling like a failure doesn’t mean you are one. It’s just a feeling, and feelings pass. Try to be gentle with yourself, even when it’s hard. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
