Humans are visual creatures, and it goes without saying that many people are judgemental about other people’s weight.
It’s no wonder, then, that if you’ve put on a few pounds recently, you might feel self-conscious about venturing into the dating scene. You might worry that you’ll be passed over or rejected based on the number on the scale, but that’s rubbish. You deserve love, and you have a lot more to offer than how much you weigh. Here’s how to put yourself out there confidently, no matter what size jeans you’re wearing.
1. Acknowledge your feelings about your body changes.
It’s natural to have mixed emotions about weight gain. Take time to process these feelings without judgement. Recognise that your worth isn’t tied to your weight or appearance. Accepting yourself as you are now is the first step towards dating with confidence. Remember, everyone’s body changes over time, and that’s perfectly normal.
2. Focus on your positive qualities and strengths.
Make a list of your best attributes, skills, and accomplishments. Are you kind, funny, intelligent, or creative? Do you excel at your job or have interesting hobbies? Remind yourself of these qualities regularly. When you appreciate your whole self, you’ll naturally exude more confidence in dating situations.
3. Update your wardrobe to flatter your current shape.
Wearing clothes that fit well and make you feel good can significantly boost your confidence. Invest in a few key pieces that complement your current body shape. Don’t wait to reach a certain weight before buying clothes you love. Feeling comfortable and stylish in your outfit will help you focus on enjoying your date rather than worrying about your appearance.
4. Practice self-care and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Prioritise activities that make you feel good about yourself. This might include regular exercise, eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, or engaging in relaxing hobbies. Taking care of your physical and mental health will improve your overall well-being and confidence. Remember, health comes in many shapes and sizes.
5. Be honest in your dating profile and photos.
Source: Unsplash Use recent photos that accurately represent how you look now. Be upfront about your body type in your profile. This honesty will attract people who appreciate you for who you are. It also helps avoid awkward situations or disappointment when meeting in person. Confidence often comes from being authentic and true to yourself.
6. Prepare conversation topics you’re passionate about.
Before a date, think of interesting topics you enjoy discussing. This could be your favourite books, travel experiences, or current events. Having engaging conversation points ready will help you feel more at ease and showcase your personality. Remember, a great conversation can be incredibly attractive.
7. Choose date activities where you feel comfortable.
Select venues and activities that allow you to relax and be yourself. If you’re not comfortable with dinner dates, suggest a walk in the park, visiting a museum, or trying a cooking class together. Feeling at ease in your environment will help you focus on getting to know your date rather than feeling self-conscious.
8. Practice positive self-talk and challenge negative thoughts.
Be mindful of your inner dialogue. When negative thoughts about your body arise, challenge them with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your worth and the qualities that make you a great potential partner. Building this habit of positive self-talk will strengthen your confidence over time.
9. Remember that confidence is attractive.
Confidence often outweighs physical appearance in terms of attractiveness. When you carry yourself with assurance and self-respect, you become more appealing to potential partners. Focus on projecting confidence through your body language, tone of voice, and the way you express yourself.
10. Don’t tolerate disrespect or body-shaming.
If someone makes negative comments about your weight or body, recognise that this reflects poorly on them, not you. You deserve respect and kindness. Be prepared to end interactions with people who don’t treat you well. Setting these boundaries is an act of self-respect and will boost your confidence in the long run.
11. Embrace the power of non-verbal communication.
Source: Unsplash Your body language speaks volumes. Practice open postures, maintain eye contact, and offer genuine smiles. These non-verbal cues convey confidence and approachability, regardless of your weight. By consciously adopting positive body language, you’ll seem more confident and start to feel it internally, creating a positive feedback loop that enhances your dating experiences.
12. Cultivate interests that boost your self-esteem.
Engage in activities or learn new skills that make you feel accomplished and proud. This could be mastering a new language, volunteering for a cause you care about, or developing a creative hobby. Having pursuits that bring you joy and a sense of achievement will naturally increase your confidence. Plus, these interests provide great talking points for dates and showcase your multifaceted personality.
