Friends quickly become our chosen family, and if you find good ones, they’re worth holding on to.
However, not all friendships are created equal, and given how limited your time and energy are, it’s important to decide which ones are worth investing in and which you shouldn’t even bother with. Here are the markers of people who will enrich your life — they’re rare, so when they come along, consider yourself lucky!
1. They match your energy and effort.
A good friendship isn’t one-sided. If you’re always the one texting first, making plans, or showing up for them while they barely lift a finger, that’s not a great sign. A solid friend will reach out too, offer support, and put in the effort to stay connected. It should feel like a team effort, not a solo mission.
2. They respect your boundaries.
A true friend gets that you need space sometimes and won’t guilt you for setting limits. Whether it’s about needing alone time, saying no to plans, or avoiding certain topics, they won’t push past your comfort zone. If someone is constantly overstepping, they might not be the kind of friend you need long-term.
3. They celebrate your wins, big or small.
A good friend is genuinely excited about your successes, whether it’s a promotion, a new relationship, or just nailing that workout routine. They won’t make it about them or get weirdly competitive. If they’re always downplaying your achievements or acting uninterested when things go right for you, it’s probably time to reevaluate.
4. They’re there when life gets tough.
Friends worth keeping are the ones who stick around when things aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. Whether you’re going through a breakup, dealing with family drama, or just having a bad week, they’ll show up with support – even if it’s just to listen. Fair-weather friends? Not worth your time.
5. You can be yourself around them, no filter needed.
The best friendships are the ones where you don’t have to pretend. If you can be your authentic, weird, messy self without worrying about being judged, you’ve found a keeper. If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells or constantly editing yourself, it’s not a friendship that’s going to make you happy in the long run.
6. They inspire you to be better.
Some friends just bring out the best in you – they motivate you to go after your goals, make you want to be kinder, or push you to grow. If a friend is constantly encouraging your bad habits or dragging you into negativity, it might be time to reconsider how much time you’re spending together.
7. You share similar values.
You don’t have to agree on everything, but having similar core values can make a huge difference. Whether it’s how you approach relationships, work, or just life in general, it helps when you and your friend see eye to eye on the things that matter most. If you’re constantly butting heads over important issues, the friendship might not be as solid as you think.
8. They’re honest with you, even when it’s hard.
A true friend will give it to you straight, but in a kind way. If they need to call you out on something or offer tough love, they do it because they care, not because they want to tear you down. Friends who are honest, yet gentle, are worth holding on to. If they sugar coat everything or avoid the hard talks, you might not be getting the full picture.
9. You have fun together, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
It sounds simple, but you should actually enjoy being around your friends! If you leave hangouts feeling happier and more energised, that’s a good sign. On the flip side, if spending time with them leaves you feeling drained or like it’s a chore, it might be time to distance yourself.
10. They’re reliable, plain and simple.
Trustworthy friends are the ones who follow through. When they say they’ll do something, you don’t have to wonder if they’ll flake. It’s comforting to know you can count on them, whether it’s for big stuff or just grabbing coffee. If someone is constantly bailing or letting you down, it’s a sign they’re not prioritising the friendship like you are.
11. You have things in common.
Shared interests or experiences can really solidify a bond. Whether it’s a hobby you both love, a career path you’re on, or just a mutual sense of humour, having common ground makes it easier to connect. Of course, friendships can still thrive without this, but it’s definitely a nice bonus.
12. They know how to communicate.
Good communication is key to any strong relationship. If your friend can express themselves openly and listen when you talk, that’s a major plus. They’re not just hearing you – they’re really listening and engaging with what you’re saying. It makes conflict resolution easier too because they’re open to talking things out.
13. They respect your other relationships.
A solid friend understands that you have a life outside of your relationship with them. They won’t get jealous or make you feel guilty for spending time with other people, whether it’s your partner, family, or other friends. If they do, it’s a red flag that they’re not as secure in the friendship as they should be.
14. You trust them implicitly.
Trust is everything in a friendship. If you can share your secrets, feelings, and thoughts without worrying that they’ll gossip or judge you, that’s a friendship worth investing in. On the flip side, if trust is shaky, or you’ve been let down before, it’s time to rethink things.
15. They genuinely add to your life.
At the end of the day, the best friends make your life better. Whether it’s through laughter, support, or just great conversations, they bring something positive into your world. If a friendship consistently feels draining, stressful, or like it’s not really benefiting you, it might be time to let it go.
