Being with the wrong person can feel frustrating, exhausting, and even a little hopeless.
You might know deep down that the relationship isn’t right, but moving on seems overwhelming. Whether you’re afraid of hurting them, scared of being alone, or unsure of what you truly want, finding the right person starts with making space for them. Here’s how to change the way you see the situation and take steps toward finding the relationship you actually deserve.
1. Admit to yourself that this isn’t working.
The first step is being honest about the fact that you’re in the wrong relationship. Maybe you’ve been making excuses for why things don’t feel right, convincing yourself that things will improve with time. But deep down, you know when something isn’t clicking, and staying in denial only prolongs the inevitable.
It’s okay to admit that love alone isn’t enough. If you don’t feel happy, supported, or fulfilled, it doesn’t matter how much history you share. Acknowledging the truth is uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to move forward and find something better.
2. Stop trying to fix what’s beyond repair.
When you care about someone, it’s tempting to believe that if you just work harder, things will change. Maybe you’ve spent months or even years trying to “fix” the relationship, hoping that one day, it’ll magically become what you need. But if you’re constantly putting in effort without real progress, it might be time to accept that this isn’t the right fit.
Some relationships just aren’t meant to work, no matter how much effort you pour into them. The right relationship won’t feel like a never-ending battle to make things function. Instead of forcing something that’s broken, focus on finding someone who meets you halfway without all the struggle.
3. Recognise that fear of being alone isn’t a reason to stay.
A huge reason people stay in the wrong relationship is because they’re scared of being alone. The idea of starting over can feel terrifying, especially if you’ve been with this person for a long time. You might wonder if you’ll ever find someone else, or if you’re making a huge mistake by leaving.
But staying with the wrong person just because it’s familiar isn’t fair to either of you. Being alone for a while is far better than staying stuck in a relationship that drains you. The right person won’t come along while you’re holding onto someone who isn’t right for you.
4. Figure out what you actually want in a partner.
If you’ve been settling, there’s a good chance you haven’t fully considered what you need in a relationship. Maybe you’ve been so focused on making this one work that you haven’t thought about what would truly make you happy. It’s time to step back and get clear on what you actually want.
Think about the qualities that would make a relationship feel fulfilling and effortless. Do you need someone more emotionally available? Someone who shares your goals? The clearer you are about what you want, the easier it will be to recognise when you’ve found it.
5. Stop romanticising potential.
One of the biggest traps in the wrong relationship is falling in love with someone’s potential instead of who they actually are. Maybe they “could” be great if they just made a few changes, or you’re convinced they’ll grow into the partner you need. But waiting for someone to become the right person is a dangerous game.
The right person won’t need to change into someone better just to meet your needs. They’ll already be the kind of partner who makes you feel safe, valued, and happy. If you’re constantly hoping your partner will “eventually” treat you right, it might be time to walk away.
6. Make peace with the fact that leaving won’t be easy.
Even when you know a relationship isn’t right, ending it is rarely simple. There might be guilt, sadness, and second-guessing involved, especially if you care about the person. You might even find yourself tempted to stay just to avoid the emotional fallout.
But hard choices often lead to the best outcomes. Walking away from something that doesn’t serve you anymore is painful, but it’s also the only way to make space for what does. Trust that the short-term discomfort will be worth it when you finally find someone who truly fits your life.
7. Work on yourself before jumping into something new.
Finding the right person isn’t just about leaving the wrong one; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself first. If you jump straight into another relationship without reflecting on what went wrong, you might end up repeating the same patterns.
Take time to focus on yourself, whether that means healing, exploring your interests, or just learning to be comfortable on your own. The right person will come at the right time, but only if you’re in the right headspace to recognise and appreciate them.
8. Be open to meeting people in unexpected ways.
Once you’re ready to move on, don’t limit yourself to old dating habits. The right person might not show up the way you expect. They might not be your usual “type,” or you could meet them in an unexpected place. Being open-minded can make all the difference.
Love doesn’t always arrive when or how you plan for it. Instead of trying to force the process, let things unfold naturally. The right relationship won’t feel forced — it will just fit.
9. Pay attention to how someone makes you feel.
When you meet someone new, focus less on how perfect they seem on paper and more on how you feel when you’re around them. Do they make you feel safe and valued? Do you feel like you can be yourself without judgment? The right person will bring out the best in you.
If you’re constantly second-guessing, feeling drained, or wondering if you’re enough, those are red flags. The right relationship won’t leave you questioning your worth. Instead, it’ll make you feel secure without having to try so hard.
10. Trust that you deserve better.
Settling for the wrong person often comes from self-doubt, from feeling like you won’t find anyone better. But you deserve a relationship where you feel loved, respected, and truly valued. The right partner won’t make you feel like you have to fight for their attention or approval.
Letting go of the wrong relationship is an act of self-respect. It’s a statement that you know your worth and won’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. When you truly believe that, the right person will find their way to you.
11. Stop looking for love out of loneliness.
It’s easy to rush into something new just to fill the space that leaving the wrong person has created. When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, being alone can feel unsettling at first. You might find yourself craving attention, mistaking the need for comfort as genuine romantic interest in someone new.
But the right relationship isn’t about filling a gap; it’s about adding to an already full life. If you jump into something just because you don’t want to be alone, you risk settling again. Give yourself time to enjoy your own company, and let love come from a place of wholeness rather than need.
12. Set new standards and stick to them.
After leaving the wrong person, you have a rare opportunity to redefine what you truly want in a partner. It’s important to set new standards, not just for how you want to be treated, but for the kind of relationship you’re willing to invest in. If something didn’t work in the past, don’t ignore those lessons — use them.
Having standards doesn’t mean being unrealistic or overly picky. It just means recognising your worth and refusing to settle for anything less than mutual respect, emotional connection, and shared values. The right person won’t feel like a compromise. They’ll feel like home.
13. Don’t mistake chemistry for compatibility.
Strong attraction can make it easy to overlook fundamental issues in a relationship. Just because someone excites you or makes your heart race doesn’t mean they’re right for you long-term. Chemistry can create intense emotions, but it’s compatibility that makes a relationship actually work.
The right person will have both; there will be a natural connection, but also a deep sense of alignment in values, goals, and communication. If you find yourself getting caught up in the rush of attraction, take a step back and ask if the relationship has real potential beyond the spark.
14. Stop making excuses for red flags.
When you’ve just left the wrong person, it can be tempting to downplay warning signs in a new relationship. You might tell yourself that you’re overreacting or that nobody is perfect. But ignoring red flags now will only lead to the same problems later.
Trust what experience has taught you. If something feels off, don’t brush it aside. The right person won’t make you question your worth, feel uneasy, or wonder if you’re being too demanding. A healthy relationship will feel clear, safe, and mutual from the start.
15. Believe that the right person is out there.
It’s easy to become cynical after leaving a bad relationship, especially if you’ve been hurt or let down before. You might start to believe that love isn’t in the cards for you or that you’re destined to keep repeating the same patterns. But finding the right person requires faith — not just in love, but in yourself.
When you believe that love is possible, you open yourself up to new experiences and connections. The right relationship won’t be forced, complicated, or painful. It will come when you’re ready to receive it, and when you refuse to settle for anything less than what you truly deserve.
