Being able to give people constructive feedback in a way that’s instructive but not offensive is an incredibly valuable professional skill.
Not only can it help improve your relationships with your colleagues and even higher-ups, but it can also increase productivity at work and change the overall company vibe for the better. If you want to give some helpful feedback without coming off as preachy, belittling, or a bit full of yourself, here’s how to communicate what you think could be done better in a more palatable way.
1. Get specific, not vague.
Feedback works best when it’s clear and to the point. Instead of saying something like “You need to improve,” try pointing out exactly what could be better. For example, “Your reports could benefit from more detailed analysis” is much more helpful. This way, you’re giving them something practical to work on, rather than just leaving them wondering what went wrong. It shows that you’re paying attention to their work and want to see them improve in a meaningful way.
2. Mix in some positive feedback, too.
If you start by acknowledging what’s going well, you set a positive tone before diving into areas for improvement. It doesn’t just make the feedback easier to digest, it helps the person feel recognised for their efforts. It’s often called the “feedback sandwich” – positive feedback, then constructive points, and ending with something encouraging. Striking a balance makes the conversation feel less like a criticism session and more like an opportunity for growth.
3. Give your feedback at the right time.
There’s no point in offering feedback weeks after something’s happened – it’ll lose its impact. Delivering feedback as soon as possible ensures the details are fresh in both your minds, which makes it easier for the person to understand what’s being addressed. Plus, it gives them a chance to correct things sooner rather than letting mistakes pile up. Quick, timely feedback helps them act on it before things get worse.
4. Adjust your style to the person.
Not everyone takes feedback the same way. Some people like it blunt and straight to the point, while others appreciate a more thoughtful and supportive approach. If you can, adjust your style to suit the person you’re speaking to. Showing that you understand their preferences shows respect for them as an individual, and makes it much more likely your feedback will be received well. Tailoring your approach to suit their personality and needs can make the feedback feel more personal and encouraging.
5. Use “I” statements to keep it neutral.
One way to avoid making someone feel like you’re attacking them is to use “I” statements. Instead of saying “You always do this wrong,” try something like, “I’ve noticed that meetings often start late, and it’s impacting how we get things done.” This way, you’re sharing your perspective without placing blame, which helps keep the conversation constructive. It opens up space for a more productive discussion, rather than creating defensiveness.
6. Make it a two-way conversation.
Feedback should be a two-way street. Encourage the person to share their thoughts, ask questions, or even explain their side of things. When feedback feels like a one-way lecture, it’s easy to tune out. Instead, try asking open-ended questions like, “How do you think this approach is working?” or “What challenges are you facing?” It creates an actual conversation, rather than just a one-sided critique, and helps build mutual understanding.
7. Keep your emotions in check.
Giving feedback in the heat of the moment can lead to an emotional response that makes everything worse. If you’re feeling frustrated or upset, it’s better to wait until you’re calm before having the conversation. When you keep your emotions in check, your feedback comes across as more measured and helpful, rather than reactive. A calm approach helps make the conversation more productive and keeps things respectful on both sides.
8. Focus on behaviour, not personality.
When giving feedback, it’s important to focus on what the person actually did, not who they are. For example, say “I noticed the report was missing some key data” rather than “You’re not detail-oriented.” It keeps the feedback constructive and focuses on behaviours that can be changed, rather than attacking someone’s character. It makes the feedback feel less personal, which makes it easier for the person to take on board.
9. Explain the impact as best you can.
Help the person understand how their actions (or lack of) affect the bigger picture. Instead of just pointing out what’s wrong, explain why it matters. For instance, “When deadlines aren’t met, it pushes the project back for everyone else” helps them see why making changes is important. It connects their actions to the team’s success, and it can motivate them to improve, knowing their efforts contribute to the bigger goals.
10. Offer some practical advice.
When giving feedback, it’s important to give them something they can actually do to improve. Rather than just saying, “You need to do better,” offer concrete suggestions on how they can step up. If time management is an issue, suggest using a task prioritisation tool or a simple planner. That kind of feedback is helpful because it gives them a clear path forward, and shows that you care about their development, not just pointing out flaws.
11. Recognise effort, not just results.
While it’s important to acknowledge results, recognising effort is just as valuable. If someone’s been working hard, but the end result isn’t perfect, let them know you appreciate their effort. It keeps morale high and motivates them to keep trying, even if things aren’t quite right yet. For example, saying, “I appreciate how much thought you put into this project, even though we’ll need to tweak a few things” encourages them to continue improving without feeling disheartened.
12. Use examples to make your point clear.
When offering feedback, specific examples are incredibly useful. Rather than saying something vague like “Your presentation wasn’t great,” explain exactly what could be improved. For example, “The slides could have used more supporting data to make your point clearer” provides a clear and actionable suggestion. Examples make the feedback easier to understand, and give the person something concrete to work on.
13. Follow up to see how things are going.
Feedback doesn’t stop once the conversation ends. Checking in after the discussion shows that you’re invested in their growth and progress. It also gives them an opportunity to bring up any challenges they’re still facing. You might ask, “How’s everything going with the changes we talked about?” or “Is there anything I can do to support you further?” It reinforces accountability and helps keep the momentum going.
14. Make feedback a regular thing.
Giving feedback shouldn’t be a rare event. The more often you give feedback, the less intimidating it becomes. Regular feedback helps create a culture of improvement, where everyone knows it’s an ongoing process. This way, people don’t feel like they’re being singled out or judged when they get feedback – it’s just part of the job. Plus, it means smaller issues get addressed before they become bigger problems.
15. Mind your tone and delivery.
How you deliver feedback is just as important as what you say. A kind, supportive tone can make even the toughest feedback easier to hear. Avoid sounding critical or dismissive, and instead aim for a tone that’s professional and encouraging. When you communicate with respect, it’s more likely that the person will listen and take the feedback to heart. It’s about making the conversation feel like a collaboration, rather than an attack.
