We all have bad days, and sometimes you wake up in the morning and think to yourself, “Nope, not today.”
Going to work, looking after the kids, paying the bills, cleaning the house — your to-do list is as long as your arm, your time is limited, and you’re feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. You have the intense desire to just run away to a deserted island where you don’t have to see anyone or do anything, and that’s understandable. However, you also know that’s not possible and that you’ve just got to get up and get on with it. Here’s how to confront that “I just can’t do it today” feeling and move past it so you can have a great — or at least not an entirely miserable — day ahead.
1. Don’t ignore how you feel — acknowledge it.
It’s okay to admit that today feels like too much. Acknowledging your emotions without judgement can help you process them rather than pushing them aside. Simply saying, “This is hard, and that’s okay,” can bring a sense of relief. By recognising your feelings, you’re giving yourself permission to slow down. Ignoring the overwhelm often makes it worse, while acceptance can be the first step toward moving through it. You don’t have to fix everything right now. Just give yourself the grace to feel what you need to.
2. Break the day into smaller chunks.
When the whole day feels overwhelming, focus on just the next hour or even the next five minutes. Ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can handle right now?” It might be as simple as making a cup of tea or brushing your teeth. Changing your focus to small, manageable tasks can make the day feel less daunting. Instead of thinking about everything at once, tackling one step at a time creates momentum. Progress, no matter how small, can make a big difference in how you feel.
3. Create a “bare minimum” list.
Not every day needs to be productive. On tough days, write down the absolute essentials — things like eating, drinking water, and resting. Letting go of non-urgent tasks can help you prioritise what really matters. A bare minimum list takes the pressure off and gives you permission to slow down. It’s about showing up for yourself in small ways that keep you grounded. Remember, survival mode is still progress, and it’s okay to do less when you need to.
4. Reach out to someone you trust.
Sometimes, just talking to someone who cares can lighten the load. Whether it’s a quick text or a phone call, connecting with a friend or loved one can remind you that you’re not alone in this. You don’t have to dive into every detail of how you’re feeling. Even a simple chat about something unrelated can help change the way you’re feeling. Knowing someone is there for you can make the day feel a little less overwhelming.
5. Focus on your breathing.
When everything feels like too much, pausing to take deep breaths can calm your nervous system. Try inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six. It’s a simple way to ground yourself in the present moment. Breathing exercises might seem small, but they can have a powerful effect on your stress levels. By slowing down your breath, you’re signalling to your body that it’s safe to relax. It’s a reminder that you have tools to manage even the toughest days.
6. Give yourself permission to rest.
Rest isn’t lazy; it’s necessary. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, allowing yourself to have a nap, sit quietly, or just stare out the window can recharge your energy. Pushing through isn’t always the best answer. Sometimes, what you really need is to pause and let yourself recover. Resting doesn’t mean you’re giving up; it means you’re prioritising your well-being. Listen to your body and give it the care it’s asking for.
7. Step outside, even for a few minutes.
Fresh air and a change of scenery can do wonders for a heavy mood. A short walk or even just standing in your garden can help clear your mind and give you a moment of peace. Nature has a way of grounding us, reminding us that the world is bigger than today’s struggles. Even if it’s just a couple of deep breaths outside your door, it can help flip your perspective and bring a bit of calm to your day.
8. Let go of guilt about what you can’t do today.
On tough days, it’s easy to feel guilty about not meeting expectations, whether yours or other people’s. Remind yourself that everyone has hard days, and it’s okay to prioritise your mental health over productivity. Guilt only adds to the weight you’re already carrying. Releasing that guilt allows you to focus on what you need most in the moment. Remember, you don’t need to be perfect, but you really should be kind to yourself when it matters most.
9. Distract yourself with something comforting.
When your mind feels like it’s spinning, distraction can be a helpful tool. Watch a comforting show, listen to your favourite music, or dive into a book you love. A little escapism can help ease the intensity of the moment. Distractions aren’t about avoiding reality — they’re about giving your brain a break. Finding comfort in familiar, enjoyable activities can create a sense of normalcy when everything else feels overwhelming. It’s a simple way to reset and recharge.
10. Remind yourself that feelings aren’t permanent.
It might not feel like it in the moment, but no emotion lasts forever. Telling yourself, “This is hard, but it won’t last,” can give you a bit of hope that you can make it through the day in one piece. Sometimes, just knowing that things will change is enough to keep going. Acknowledging the temporary nature of feelings helps create space for them without being consumed by them. It’s a reminder that tough days are just that — days. They’ll pass, and better ones will come.
11. Focus on one thing you’re grateful for.
Gratitude can feel unreachable when you’re overwhelmed, but finding one small thing to appreciate can help change your mindset. It could be as simple as hitting all green lights on your morning commute or finding a fiver on the street. Gratitude doesn’t have to be forced or dramatic; it’s about noticing the little things that bring comfort. Focusing on these moments can remind you that even on hard days, there’s still goodness to be found.
12. Don’t focus on what everyone else is doing.
It’s easy to look around and feel like everyone else is handling life better. But comparison only adds to your stress. Remember, you’re only seeing a fraction of someone else’s reality, not the whole picture. Focusing on your own journey instead of measuring yourself against other people can lighten the load. Everyone has tough days, even if they don’t show it. Give yourself the same compassion you’d offer a friend.
13. Celebrate even the smallest wins.
On overwhelming days, small victories matter. If you got out of bed, ate something, or even just made it through a rough moment, that’s worth acknowledging. Progress doesn’t have to be big to count. Celebrating small wins helps build momentum and reminds you of your resilience. Each step forward, no matter how small, is proof that you’re moving in the right direction. Give yourself credit where it’s due — you’ve earned it.
14. Write down what’s weighing on you.
Jotting down your thoughts can be a powerful way to clear your mind. Whether it’s a messy brain dump or a neatly organised list, getting it out of your head and onto paper can make it feel more manageable. Writing creates space between you and your worries, making them feel less overwhelming. Sometimes, seeing everything laid out helps you realise that it’s not as impossible as it felt in your mind. It’s a simple yet effective way to regain clarity.
15. Remind yourself it’s okay to have hard days.
Life isn’t about always having it together. Some days are just hard, and that’s part of being human. Giving yourself permission to feel overwhelmed without judgement can help you move through it with less resistance. Hard days don’t define you — they’re just moments in time. Be gentle with yourself and trust that this too shall pass, as they say. Sometimes, simply surviving the day is enough, and that’s perfectly okay.
