Not all psychopaths are out in the world acting like Norman Bates.
In fact, many who meet the clinical definition of psychopathy are far more understated, and therefore a lot harder to identify. What’s worse, the condition tends to manifest differently in women than in men, which can make it even harder to pick up on the signs that you’re dealing with a female psychopath. If you notice a woman in your life checking off more than a few of these qualities, however, you may want to pay attention — you could be in danger.
1. She’s charming and manipulative.
An undercover female psychopath often charms everyone with her charisma, creating a façade of being friendly and trustworthy. She’ll use her charm to manipulate people, making them feel special while gaining control over them. She’s skilled at getting what she wants while making it look effortless, often leaving people unaware of her true intentions.
2. She thrives on attention.
Psychopaths tend to crave attention, so she’ll often try to be the centre of attention in any social setting. She might subtly manipulate situations to ensure all eyes are on her, and if she doesn’t get the attention she feels she deserves, she may resort to dramatic or attention-seeking behaviours to grab it.
3. She uses people for her benefit.
One of the most defining traits of a psychopath is their lack of empathy, so she has no shame in using people for personal gain. She’s not interested in mutual support or relationships; she’ll make you feel valued only as long as you’re useful to her. Once you no longer serve her needs, she’ll discard you without a second thought.
4. She has an air of unpredictability.
Her behaviour can often be erratic or inconsistent, leaving those around her feeling uneasy. One moment, she can be charming and agreeable, and the next, she might suddenly switch to aggression or coldness. Her unpredictability keeps everyone on edge and allows her to maintain control by keeping them guessing about her true nature.
5. She lacks genuine empathy.
While she may seem sympathetic at times, her empathy is shallow and self-serving. She may mimic empathy to fit in or manipulate situations, but she doesn’t actually feel for anyone else. Such a profound lack of empathy allows her to manipulate, lie, or deceive people without feeling guilty or remorseful.
6. She’s always looking for validation.
Undercover female psychopaths often rely on external validation to build their self-worth. She may constantly fish for compliments or seek praise for even minor achievements. Her need for validation isn’t about personal growth; it’s about keeping everyone around her to feed her ego and maintain her sense of superiority.
7. She plays the victim card.
To manipulate people and avoid accountability, she might constantly portray herself as the victim. She’ll play on people’s sympathies by exaggerating or fabricating her struggles, creating an image of someone who’s always being wronged. This tactic shifts focus away from her harmful actions and makes it harder for anyone to challenge her behaviour.
8. She’s highly competitive and jealous.
While everyone has a bit of competition in them, a female psychopath will take it to an extreme. She may become envious of anyone who threatens her standing or receives attention she believes is hers. Her jealousy can manifest in passive-aggressive comments, undermining people, or trying to sabotage them in subtle ways.
9. She thrives on chaos and drama.
Female psychopaths often create chaos in their relationships and social circles because it allows them to stay in control. They may stir up drama, gossip, or cause conflicts just to see how people react, using the turmoil to maintain dominance. The chaos also serves to keep everyone focused on her, preventing them from seeing the truth of her manipulative actions.
10. She’s a master of deceit.
Lying comes naturally to her. Whether it’s exaggerating the truth, making up stories, or straight-up lying, she can weave elaborate tales that seem believable at first glance. She uses deception as a tool to control the narrative, avoid blame, and ensure that she’s always in the spotlight.
11. She doesn’t respect boundaries.
Female psychopaths often disregard personal boundaries, whether emotional, physical, or social. She might push you to do things you’re not comfortable with, manipulate you into revealing personal information, or disregard your need for space. Her goal is to break down your boundaries to make you more susceptible to her control.
12. She isolates people around her.
Once she has established control, she may work to isolate her target from friends and family. She’ll try to create rifts between you and your support system, making you more reliant on her and less able to see her true nature. That isolation makes it easier for her to maintain power in the relationship.
13. She has a sense of entitlement.
Female psychopaths often feel entitled to special treatment or privileges, even if they haven’t earned them. She might expect everyone to cater to her needs, or get frustrated when she doesn’t get the attention or respect she feels she deserves. Her entitlement can make her hard to please and often leads to toxic behaviours when she’s not getting what she wants.
14. She uses guilt to control people.
Guilt is one of her most potent weapons. She’ll make you feel guilty for things you didn’t do, or manipulate situations to make you feel responsible for her actions. This makes you more likely to do what she wants, even if it’s at your own expense.
15. She’s always trying to dominate relationships.
Whether it’s in her romantic relationships, friendships, or professional settings, she’ll try to dominate those around her. She’ll manipulate conversations, control situations, and create power imbalances, making it tough for anyone to see her as anything but the dominant force. She thrives on control and will do whatever it takes to maintain it.
