You work hard, treat people well, and generally try to put good things into the world — so why do you struggle when those efforts pay off?
If you’re someone who gets suspicious or even paranoid when things are going too well in life, you’re not alone. Plenty of people battle imposter syndrome — up to 70% of the general population, according to the Harvard Business Review — and it’s pretty unlikely that none of them deserve the success and happiness they achieve. Feeling like you’re existing on borrowed time in any area of your life, whether it’s your career or your relationships, is soul-crushing and totally unnecessary. If you want to shake the feeling that you’re an imposter who’ll get found out as a fraud any second, here’s how to step into your self-worth and start believing that you deserve good things.
1. Recognise imposter syndrome for what it is.
The first step is understanding what’s happening when you start feeling like a fraud. Those feelings of self-doubt and fear aren’t a reflection of your abilities. They’re just that: feelings. Everyone, no matter how accomplished, goes through moments where they wonder if they’re “good enough.” Recognising that these feelings are just fears, not facts, can help take the power out of them. Once you realise that what you’re feeling isn’t actually the truth, you can start shifting your perspective.
2. Separate feelings from facts.
It’s easy to start believing that if you feel unsure of yourself, it must be because you’re not actually capable. But here’s the thing: feelings are not facts. Just because you feel out of place doesn’t mean you actually are. When those doubts creep in, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: What’s the real evidence here? What have you accomplished? When you take the time to look at your actual achievements, you’ll often see that they contradict the fears in your head. Having that awareness helps remind you that your feelings aren’t always aligned with reality.
3. Give yourself credit where it’s due.
It’s easy to downplay your successes or chalk them up to luck, but that doesn’t do justice to all the hard work you’ve put in. Take some time to really sit down and think about what you’ve achieved — big or small. Write them down if it helps. When those feelings of inadequacy start to pop up, pull out that list and remind yourself of everything you’ve earned through your own efforts. Celebrating your accomplishments, no matter how minor they might seem, helps you see how truly capable and deserving you are.
4. Stop measuring yourself against other people.
One of the quickest ways to feel like you’re not enough is by comparing your journey to someone else’s. Whether it’s a colleague who seems to have it all together, a friend who’s ahead of you, or someone you follow on social media, comparing yourself to other people only fuels that feeling of inadequacy. The truth is, everyone’s path is different. Just because someone else’s journey looks different doesn’t mean yours is any less valid. Focus on your own growth and progress instead of measuring your success by someone else’s timeline.
5. Understand that no one has it all figured out.
It’s easy to feel like everyone else has life totally sorted out, and you’re just struggling to keep up. But here’s a little secret: no one knows what they’re doing all the time. Seriously, no one. Most people are figuring it out as they go along. Perfection doesn’t exist, and we all have moments of uncertainty. When you realise that no one has it all figured out, it takes the pressure off. You’re not supposed to have every answer, and that’s perfectly okay.
6. Accept that mistakes don’t mean failure.
If you’ve ever felt like making a mistake means you’re somehow not good enough or not ready for success, it’s time to rethink that. Mistakes aren’t proof of incompetence — they’re proof that you’re learning. Every time you try something new, there’s going to be a risk of things not going perfectly, and that’s a natural part of growth. Instead of fearing failure, try to see it as an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s through trial and error that you become better, and embracing that mindset can give you the confidence to keep pushing forward.
7. Be a bit nicer to yourself.
When things aren’t going the way you hoped, or you’re feeling down, it’s easy to turn into your own harshest critic. But showing yourself the same kindness and understanding that you’d show a friend is incredibly important. Self-compassion is about acknowledging that everyone struggles sometimes, and it’s okay not to have it all together. When those feelings of doubt creep in, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend who was feeling the same way. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough.
8. Celebrate the small wins.
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that nothing is ever good enough. But trying to aim for perfection is a recipe for burnout and frustration. Instead, focus on celebrating progress, not perfection. Every small step forward counts. Whether you finished a project, had a productive week, or made a decision that felt right, those are wins. Acknowledge them. When you celebrate your growth, you reinforce the idea that you’re capable, and you’re on the right track, no matter how small the steps may seem.
9. Share your feelings with someone you trust.
It can be incredibly helpful to share what you’re feeling with someone you trust. Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or mentor, having someone listen can really take the weight off. Often, you’ll find that the person you’re talking to has had similar feelings themselves. Hearing their experiences and advice can make you feel less alone and remind you that you’re not the only one who feels this way. Just opening up can make a big difference in how you view the situation.
10. Accept compliments rather than brushing them off all the time.
When someone gives you a compliment, how do you react? If you tend to shrug it off or downplay it, try this: next time, just say “thank you.” It might feel awkward at first, but accepting praise graciously is a great way to start acknowledging your worth. When you dismiss compliments, it reinforces the idea that you don’t deserve recognition. But by simply accepting kind words, you start to see the value in your efforts and what you bring to the table.
11. Focus on what you bring to the table.
It’s easy to get stuck on what you think you lack, but it’s far more helpful to focus on what you do have. What are your strengths? What skills do you bring to the table? Every person has something unique to offer, and so do you. Take time to recognise what makes you good at what you do. Focusing on your contributions rather than on any shortcomings helps you feel more confident in your place.
12. Set realistic expectations for yourself.
When you set goals for yourself, make sure they’re realistic. Trying to achieve something that’s too big or vague can only set you up to feel like you’re not measuring up. Instead, aim for goals that challenge you without overwhelming you. Break things down into smaller, manageable steps, and remember to give yourself credit when you accomplish them. By setting realistic goals, you set yourself up for success and build confidence along the way.
13. Learn to say no more often.
Saying yes to everything doesn’t prove your worth — it just leads to burnout. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, learn to say no. Respecting your own time and energy is crucial to maintaining your well-being. Saying no isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of self-respect. You’re allowed to take a step back when you need to, and you don’t have to constantly prove yourself by overcommitting.
14. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come.
Whenever you feel like you’re not measuring up, take a moment to look back at how much you’ve achieved already. Think about all the challenges you’ve faced and overcome, the things you’ve learned, and the progress you’ve made. This reflection can help you see just how far you’ve come and remind you that you’re capable of handling whatever comes next.
15. Remember that growth takes time — it’s a lifelong process, actually.
The process of learning and evolving is ongoing. No one reaches a point where they have everything figured out. Growth is a lifelong journey, and you’re always going to be learning and improving. Embrace that. The fact that you’re committed to growing is something to be proud of. The more you lean into this mindset, the more you’ll realise that you don’t need to have all the answers right now — and that’s okay.