Toxic people love nothing more than to suck you into their non-stop drama.
They’ll go out of their way to involve you in things that have nothing to do with you, and when you try to distance yourself, they’ll up the ante to keep you right where they want you. If you don’t want that to happen, here’s what you need to do.
1. Recognise the signs of a toxic person to begin with.
The first step in protecting yourself is knowing what you’re dealing with. Toxic people are well-versed in manipulative behaviour, and they love to play the victim, create drama, and completely ignore your boundaries. Recognising these red flags early on can help you avoid getting tangled up with them.
2. Be clear about your boundaries.
Toxic people will test your limits at every possible opportunity, which is why it’s so important that you set boundaries about what you will and won’t tolerate — and be firm in actually upholding them. This might mean saying no to the things they ask of you, limiting contact, or even cutting them out of your life completely. Do what you have to do to protect yourself.
3. Limit communication and avoid engaging in their drama.
Drama and chaos follow toxic people everywhere they go, and they like it that way. The more you engage with them, the more they’ll try to pull you back in. Keep your communication to the essentials and avoid getting drawn into their arguments or emotional outbursts.
4. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
Building a strong support network of friends and family who inspire and encourage you can be a powerful way to cancel out the toxicity. Having such positive relationships in your life can help you stay grounded and remind you of your worth, which makes it a lot easier to resist toxic people.
5. Focus on looking after yourself.
When you put yourself first, you become less susceptible to the manipulations of toxic people. Make time for things that bring you joy, eat food that fuels and nourishes you, get enough sleep, and do things that promote mental and emotional balance.
6. Remind yourself of the reasons why you distanced yourself from them in the first place.
When those familiar feelings of guilt or obligation creep in, remember why you stepped away from the toxic person to begin with. Remember the pain, stress, and negativity they brought into your life — it’ll help you stay strong and resist their attempts to suck you back in.
7. If you’re really struggling, therapy or counselling can help.
Sometimes, getting away from a toxic relationship can be really hard, especially if there’s a long history or deep-rooted emotional ties. A therapist or counsellor can not only support you through the process, but they can also give you some valuable skills and tools to make it a little easier/less painful.
8. Block them on social media and other communication channels.
These days, social media can (and often is) a tool for toxic people to try to reconnect or monitor your life. Blocking them on all platforms can help you maintain distance and prevent them from knowing what’s going on in your life or even just spreading negativity. This should extend to blocking their email address, their phone number, and any other ways they might be able to reach out to you.
9. Practise more assertive communication.
Source: Unsplash Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself and express your needs clearly and directly. Toxic people will try to manipulate or guilt-trip you into doing what they want. Learning to say no and really put your foot down can help you keep control and avoid getting pulled back into their drama.
10. Don’t feel guilty or responsible for their behaviour.
They might point the finger and try to make you feel responsible for their actions or feelings, but that’s not reality. Don’t let them guilt-trip you into taking on their burdens or enabling their toxic behaviour.
11. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes or interactions.
Feeling guilty after interacting with a toxic person is pretty common, especially if you’ve been drawn back into their orbit in the past. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes and focus on moving forward. You’re a human being, and you’re learning and growing. It’s okay to make mistakes along the way.
12. Try to visualise a protective shield around yourself.
This might sound a bit woo-woo, but visualisation can really help when it comes to setting boundaries and protecting your energy. Imagine a shield of light surrounding you that can deflect any negativity or manipulation from toxic people. This mental image can help you stay strong and centred, even at the most stressful times.
13. Celebrate your freedom and focus on the positive aspects of your life.
Breaking free from a toxic relationship is a huge accomplishment, so celebrate it! Acknowledge your newfound freedom and focus on the positive aspects of your life. You’re so much better off without the toxic person in your life, even if it’s hard to see that now.
14. Talk to people who’ve been through the same thing.
Connecting with other people who’ve dealt with toxic people can be incredibly comforting, not to mention empowering. Sharing your experiences and hearing their stories can help you feel less alone and give you some more coping mechanisms. Consider joining a support group or online community where you can connect with people who get what you’re going through.
15. Trust your gut instinct.
If something feels off or uncomfortable in a relationship, trust your intuition. Your gut instinct is often a reliable indicator of whether someone is genuinely good for you or not. Don’t ignore those red flags or dismiss your feelings. If you feel uneasy or manipulated, it’s okay to step back and protect yourself. In fact, you really should!
