We’ve all encountered them – those people who seem to leave a trail of chaos and negativity wherever they go. Maybe it’s a friend who always stirs up drama, a family member who thrives on conflict, or a coworker whose toxic energy seems to infect the whole office. But what are the telltale signs of a truly toxic person? Here are some of the most common personality traits that might indicate someone’s toxic tendencies.
1. You avoid expressing your true opinions.
Maybe you keep quiet instead of disagreeing with someone in a meeting. Or you nod along with a friend’s opinion even if you don’t genuinely feel the same way. While a little diplomacy is important, constantly censoring your true thoughts might be a sign you’re afraid of being judged or disliked if people knew what you really believed. And that lack of authenticity can be toxic to both yourself and those around you.
2. You’re always the victim.
Source: Unsplash Everything that goes wrong is always someone else’s fault. You never take responsibility for your own mistakes or shortcomings. Instead, you blame other people, circumstances, or even bad luck for your problems. This victim mentality can be incredibly draining for those around you, who constantly have to listen to your complaints and excuses.
3. You love to gossip and spread rumours.
You thrive on juicy gossip and can’t resist sharing the latest scandal, even if it’s not your place to do so. You might even embellish stories to make them more exciting or dramatic. This kind of behaviour hurts the people you gossip about and creates a toxic environment of mistrust and suspicion.
4. You constantly create drama.
Source: Unsplash You’re like a walking soap opera, always involved in some kind of conflict or controversy. You might start arguments, spread rumours, or even create problems out of thin air just to have something to complain about. This constant drama can be exhausting for everyone around you and can damage relationships.
5. You’re manipulative and controlling.
You use guilt, manipulation, or even threats to get your way. You might try to control the people around you by making them feel obligated to do what you want, or by making them feel guilty if they don’t. This kind of behaviour is not only toxic but can also be emotionally abusive.
6. You always blame everyone else for your problems.
Source: Unsplash Similar to the victim mentality, you never take responsibility for your own actions. If something goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. You might blame your parents, your partner, your friends, or even society for your problems. This lack of accountability can make it difficult to have healthy relationships with you.
7. You never apologise.
Source: Unsplash Even when you’re clearly in the wrong, you refuse to apologise. You might make excuses, deflect blame, or even try to justify your behaviour. This unwillingness to take responsibility for your actions can be incredibly frustrating for those around you and can damage trust in relationships.
8. You’re always trying to one-up people.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s a conversation, a competition, or even a simple task, you always have to be the best. You might brag about your accomplishments, put people down to make yourself look better, or even sabotage people to ensure your own success. This competitive nature can create a toxic atmosphere and make it difficult for people to feel good about themselves around you.
9. You’re always negative and critical.
Source: Unsplash The glass is always half empty for you. You focus on the negative aspects of every situation and rarely see the good in anything. You might criticise people constantly, complain about everything, or simply spread negativity wherever you go. This constant negativity can be draining for those around you and can create a toxic atmosphere.
10. You’re jealous of people pretty often.
Source: Unsplash You can’t stand to see anyone around you succeed or be happy. You might feel envious of their accomplishments, their possessions, or even their relationships. This jealousy can lead to resentment, bitterness, and even sabotage. It can also prevent you from forming genuine connections with people and enjoying your own life.
11. You’re emotionally volatile and unpredictable.
Source: Unsplash One minute you’re happy and cheerful, the next you’re angry and irritable. Your moods can change quickly and unexpectedly, leaving those around you walking on eggshells. This emotional instability can be incredibly difficult to deal with and can create a lot of stress and anxiety for those in your life.
12. You hold grudges and never forgive.
You have a long memory for wrongs done to you, real or perceived. You might hold on to anger and resentment for years, even decades. This unwillingness to forgive can poison your relationships and prevent you from moving on from past hurts. It can also create a toxic cycle of negativity and conflict.
13. You’re self-centred and lack empathy.
You’re primarily concerned with your own needs and desires, with little regard for other people’s feelings or well-being. You might interrupt people, dominate conversations, or dismiss their concerns without a second thought. This lack of empathy can make it difficult to form meaningful relationships and can lead to hurt feelings and resentment.
14. You’re dismissive of people’s opinions and feelings.
You don’t value anyone else’s opinions or feelings, especially if they’re different from your own. You might interrupt them, talk over them, or even mock their ideas. This dismissive attitude can make people feel unheard and unimportant, and can create a toxic dynamic where people feel afraid to express themselves honestly.
15. You play the victim to avoid taking responsibility.
Whenever you’re faced with a problem or conflict, you immediately cast yourself as the victim. You might exaggerate your own suffering, downplay the impact of your actions on other people, or even blame them for your own mistakes. This tactic can be manipulative and can prevent you from taking responsibility for your own life and choices.
16. You’re passive-aggressive.
You express your anger and resentment indirectly, through subtle digs, sarcasm, or backhanded compliments. You might agree to do something, but then intentionally do it poorly or procrastinate. This passive-aggressive behaviour can be incredibly frustrating for those around you and can create a toxic environment of unspoken conflict.
17. You’re two-faced and insincere.
You act one way in front of people and another way behind their backs. You might flatter people to their face, but then criticise them to other people. This insincerity can make it difficult for people to trust you and can create a toxic atmosphere of suspicion and mistrust.
18. You thrive on conflict and drama.
You’re like a moth to a flame when it comes to conflict. You might instigate arguments, spread rumours, or even create problems out of thin air just to have something to talk about. You get a thrill from the drama and chaos, even if it hurts the people around you. This kind of behaviour can be incredibly destructive and can ruin relationships.
