By How many times in your life have you used the phrase “I can’t”?
Whether it was because you lacked self-confidence, you were afraid of failure, or maybe simply because you didn’t really want to do the thing in question, “I can’t” became an easy fall-back. However, it’s way too overused — here are some alternatives that are a bit more positive.
1. “I’m still learning how to do that.”
There’s a major difference between this and “I can’t.” First of all, saying that you can’t do something is pretty final and leaves no room for growth. With this one, you’re saying that you’re not a pro just yet, but you’re working on it.
2. “I’m not comfortable with that yet.”
Sometimes, “I can’t” is really about feeling uncertain or uneasy. Instead, this tells people that you’re still not quite confident enough to tackle something yet but that you’re aware of that and you’ll get there one day.
3. “That’s not a priority for me right now.”
If you don’t have time for something, it’s not that you can’t do it, it’s that your schedule is already packed and whatever someone is asking for you doesn’t fit in there. This is a great way to be upfront about that withou being unkind.
4. “I need more information before I can do that.”
This is good to use when you’re not quite sure about something someone is asking of you. Maybe you don’t know how much of a time commitment there will be, or how much work will be involved. Instead of shutting down the request immediately, get a bit more info before you make a decision.
5. “I’d like to find a different approach.”
Sometimes “I can’t” really means “I can’t do it this way.” If the other person really wants you involved, they should be willing to meet you halfway and find a path forward that works for both of you.
6. “I’ve tried that before without success, but I’m open to trying again.”
This is great because it lets the other person know that you’re not just shutting down their idea out of nowhere — you know from experience that something doesn’t work, but you’re also willing to give it another go because you’re not too proud or stubborn to admit you might have got it wrong the first time.
7. “That’s outside of my current skill set.”
This is a more professional way of saying “I can’t” because it clearly communicates your limitations without sounding defeatist. If what’s being asked of you is something you’re interested in and want to learn more about, you can follow up with that offer!
8. “I’d need some support to accomplish that.”
You might be able to do something that’s being asked of you, but not on your own. Let the person asking know that you’ll need some backup in order to get the job done. If they really want you to be part of it, they’ll make sure you have the support you need.
9. “Let me think about how I could make that work.”
You don’t necessarily want to shut the asker down with an immediate “I can’t”, but you’re also not sure if what they want is actually doable. This is a great way to buy yourself a little time to give their request some proper consideration. Your ultimate answer might still be a “no”, but at least you’ll have thought about it!
10. “That doesn’t align with my values.”
Sometimes, “I can’t” is about personal principles rather than actual ability. This is a good way to let someone know that your personal values don’t match with what they want without sounding judgemental or accusatory.
11. “I don’t have the resources for that at the moment.”
Again, if you don’t have the time, money, or energy to do what someone is asking of you, let them know that your resources are running dry. It’s not that you don’t want to help them, it’s that you’re not in a place to do so. Any decent person should be able to respect that.
12. “I’m focusing my energy elsewhere right now.”
Again, this is great because it implies that you’re actually really thoughtful about the things people ask of you rather than just shutting them down without considering them. Your schedule is packed and your energy is already spent. Sorry!
13. “I’d like to approach this differently.”
If you’re game for what someone is asking of you but you don’t like the way they’re going about it, say this. Depending on how much they want or need your help, they should be willing to at least discuss a possible different way forward.
14. “That’s a challenge for me, but I’m willing to work on it.”
If you’re not very good at something but you’re always trying to improve, this could be a solid response. It lets the person know that you’re happy to pitch in on what they’re asking of you but that you’re still learning, so you may need a bit of extra help.
15. “I’ll need to reassess my commitments before taking that on.”
Maybe you have a lot on your plate right now and as much as you’d love to be involved, you’re just not sure if you have the bandwidth. In that case, buy yourself a bit of time and have a real think about it with this response. Whatever you decide, just make sure it’s the right thing for you.
