For a lot of people (myself included), being alone is comfortable, relaxing, and even preferable sometimes.
However, not everyone feels this way, and a lot of people actually struggle when they’re not surrounded by other people. While it’s important to have a balance of both, learning to enjoy your own company and be okay solo is vital. Are you good at it? If you experience these feelings when no one else is around, the answer is sadly “probably not.”
1. Panic sets in rapidly.
If the mere thought of an evening alone has you breaking out in a cold sweat, you might be struggling with being alone. It’s just you and your thoughts, not a horror movie marathon. Take a deep breath — you’ve got this!
2. Boredom hits hard.
If you’re climbing the walls after five minutes alone, you might need to work on your solo entertainment skills. There’s a whole world of hobbies out there waiting to be discovered. Who knows, you might even enjoy your own company!
3. You have a desperate need to text everyone.
If your fingers are itching to send out an “SOS — I’m alone!” text to your entire contact list, you might be a tad too dependent on other people for entertainment. Your phone isn’t going to spontaneously combust if you leave it alone for a while, promise.
4. Guilt for not being “productive” enough is real.
If you feel like every moment alone needs to be filled with tasks and to-do lists, you’re missing the point of me-time. It’s okay to just exist sometimes without ticking off a list of achievements. Staring at the ceiling can be productive, too — in its own way.
5. Overthinking every life decision becomes the norm.
If your brain turns into a hamster wheel of “what ifs” and “should haves”, you might need to learn how to quiet that inner critic. Your alone time isn’t meant to be a mental marathon of self-doubt.
6. FOMO hits hard.
If you’re constantly wondering what everyone else is up to and feeling like you’re missing out on life-changing events (spoiler: you’re probably not), you’re not great at this alone thing. The world will still be there when you rejoin it, promise.
7. You get the urge to clean everything in sight.
Source: Unsplash If suddenly every speck of dust becomes visible, and you feel compelled to deep clean your entire living space, you might be avoiding sitting with your thoughts. While a tidy space is nice, it shouldn’t be your go-to distraction technique.
8. Loneliness creeps in quickly.
If you start feeling lonely the moment the door closes behind your last visitor, you might need to work on building a better relationship with yourself. You’re pretty good company, you just need to realise it!
9. You start imagining worst-case health scenarios.
If you turn into a WebMD hypochondriac, convinced that every twinge is a rare tropical disease, you’re definitely not nailing this solitude thing. Your body isn’t going to suddenly malfunction just because you’re alone.
10. You get the sudden urge to call parents or exes.
If you want to dial up blast-from-the-past contacts, you might be trying to fill a void. Resist the urge to drunk-dial your ex or start a deep conversation about your childhood with your mum at 2 am.
11. You start questioning your entire personality.
If you wonder if you’re actually funny, kind, or interesting, you’re definitely overthinking it. Your personality doesn’t change just because there’s no one around to witness it.
12. An urgent need to start new projects sets in.
If you suddenly decide you absolutely must learn to crochet or speak Japanese, you might be avoiding sitting with your thoughts. While new hobbies are great, they shouldn’t be a panic response to solitude.
13. You start oversharing on social media.
Source: Unsplash If you start a social media oversharing spree, documenting every mundane moment, you might be craving connection a bit too much. Your followers don’t need a play-by-play of your solo Netflix binge.
14. You feel oddly vulnerable.
Source: Unsplash If you jump at every creak and shadow, checking the locks multiple times, you’re not quite comfortable in your solo skin yet. Unless you live in a horror movie, you’re probably safe.
15. You start obsessing over past social experiences.
If you replay a highlight reel of every awkward thing you’ve ever said or done, you’re not using your solitude productively. That embarrassing thing from 2007? Everyone else has forgotten about it, promise.
16. You get the overwhelming urge to online shop.
If you end up with a maxed-out credit card and a house full of things you don’t need, you might be trying to fill an emotional void with stuff. Your bank account will thank you for finding a healthier solo hobby.
17. You start planning elaborate social events.
If your quiet evening turns into planning a three-day festival with everyone you’ve ever met, you might be overcompensating a bit. It’s okay to have a blank social calendar sometimes.
18. You feel like you’re wasting time.
If you can’t shake the feeling that any moment not spent socialising is a moment wasted, you’re missing out on the joys of solitude. Some of life’s best moments happen when we’re alone.
19. You start questioning your relationships.
Source: Unsplash If you doubt every friendship and relationship you have, you’re definitely not acing the solitude game. Your connections don’t become less valid just because you’re not actively engaging in them 24/7.
20. You feel an overwhelming sense of relief when alone time ends.
If you feel a wave of relief every time your alone time is interrupted or cut short, you’re not quite comfortable with solitude yet. Learning to enjoy your own company is a skill — and like any skill, it takes practice. You’ve got this!
