If Someone Secretly Detests You, They’ll Usually Do These 17 Subtle Things

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Have you ever got that nagging feeling that someone might not be your biggest fan, even if they haven’t said anything outright?

It can be tricky to decipher these subtle signals, but often, our intuition picks up on clues we might not consciously realise. So, if you’re wondering whether someone secretly dislikes you, here are a few behaviours to watch out for.

1. Their body language speaks volumes.

Pay attention to non-verbal cues. Do they avoid eye contact, turn their body away from you, or cross their arms when you’re around? These subtle signs might indicate discomfort or a desire to create distance. Their facial expressions can also be telling – a forced smile or lack of genuine warmth in their interactions could be a red flag.

2. They consistently give you backhanded compliments.

These are those seemingly nice comments that leave a sour aftertaste. For example, they might say, “You look great for your age,” or “That outfit is surprisingly flattering.” While disguised as compliments, these remarks often contain a subtle jab or underlying criticism.

3. They go out of their way to avoid you.

If they consistently find excuses not to spend time with you, change their plans when you’re involved, or seem visibly uncomfortable in your presence, it could be a sign that they’re not keen on your company. While people have busy lives, a persistent pattern of avoidance is hard to ignore.

4. They rarely initiate conversations or make an effort to connect.

Healthy relationships involve a give-and-take of communication and effort. If someone consistently waits for you to reach out first, rarely asks about your life, or seems uninterested in getting to know you better, it could be a sign that they’re not invested in the relationship.

5. They’re quick to criticise or judge you.

While constructive feedback is valuable, someone who dislikes you might nitpick your every move, offer unsolicited advice, or make snide remarks about your choices. Their criticisms may seem disproportionately harsh and lack any genuine desire to help you improve.

6. They forget important details about your life.

If someone consistently forgets your birthday, your job title, or other important details about your life, it could be a sign that they’re not paying attention or simply don’t care enough to remember. While everyone forgets things occasionally, repeated forgetfulness can be hurtful and signal a lack of interest.

7. They gossip about you behind your back.

This one can be tough to catch, but if you hear through the grapevine that someone is spreading rumours or talking negatively about you, it’s a clear sign that they don’t have your best interests at heart. Trustworthy people don’t engage in gossip or try to undermine your reputation.

8. They dismiss your feelings and opinions.

Someone who secretly dislikes you might belittle your concerns, downplay your achievements, or invalidate your feelings. They may interrupt you frequently, talk over you, or change the subject when you’re trying to express yourself. This lack of respect for your thoughts and emotions can be a major red flag.

9. They exclude you from social events and gatherings.

If you’re consistently left out of group activities, invitations, or conversations, it could be a sign that someone is intentionally excluding you. While there might be other reasons for this behaviour, such as conflicting schedules or different interests, a persistent pattern of exclusion can be a red flag.

10. They never seem to remember anything you tell them.

Have you ever shared something personal or important with them, only to have them forget it completely? While occasional forgetfulness is normal, consistently brushing off your stories or experiences can make you feel unimportant and unheard. It might be a sign that they’re not truly listening or that they don’t value your input.

11. They’re overly competitive with you.

Do they always try to one-up you, belittle your accomplishments, or compare themselves to you in a negative way? While a little friendly competition can be healthy, constant rivalry can create tension and strain a relationship. If someone seems overly invested in proving they’re better than you, it might stem from underlying resentment or insecurity.

12. They make jokes at your expense.

Humour can be a great way to bond with people, but if someone consistently makes “jokes” that target your insecurities, appearance, or personal traits, it can be hurtful and damaging. Pay attention to how their jabs make you feel. If you’re consistently left feeling embarrassed or put down, it might be a sign that their humour is masking deeper negativity.

13. They subtly undermine your confidence.

Do they make subtle comments that chip away at your self-esteem? Maybe they question your decisions, second-guess your abilities, or offer backhanded compliments that leave you feeling unsure of yourself. While this behaviour might not be overtly hostile, it can slowly eat away at your confidence and create self-doubt.

14. They seem to enjoy seeing you struggle or fail.

This is a particularly toxic behaviour. If someone takes pleasure in your misfortunes, downplays your achievements, or seems happy when things go wrong for you, it’s a clear sign that they don’t have your best interests at heart. Healthy relationships involve mutual support and encouragement, not a desire to see the other person suffer.

15. They’re quick to take offence and hold grudges.

Do they get easily offended by your words or actions, even when you didn’t intend any harm? Do they hold on to past grievances and bring them up repeatedly? While everyone has different sensitivities, a pattern of easily triggered anger or resentment can be a sign of underlying animosity.

16. They rarely offer genuine compliments or praise.

While not everyone is effusive with compliments, someone who genuinely cares about you will notice and appreciate your positive qualities. If they rarely acknowledge your accomplishments, good deeds, or personal strengths, it could be a sign that they don’t see the good in you or simply don’t care to express it.

17. Your gut feeling tells you something is off.

Sometimes, the most telling sign is your own intuition. If you consistently feel uneasy, anxious, or drained around someone, trust your gut feeling. Our subconscious often picks up on subtle cues that our conscious mind might miss. If something doesn’t feel right, it might be worth exploring further or setting some boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.