You probably think you’re in touch with your feelings, but that might not actually be the case.
While you don’t need to keep a daily gratitude journal or attend group therapy sessions to be at one with your emotions, there are certain habits you may have that prove you’re a bit more disconnected from what’s going on in your head and heart than you’d like to admit.
1. You find yourself constantly scrolling through social media during awkward silences.
That reflexive reach for your phone when conversation lulls isn’t just a harmless habit. It’s a shield that keeps you from having to grease any social wheels by putting in effort to make conversation. By filling every moment with digital noise, you’re avoiding the vulnerability that comes with simply being present.
2. You’ve got a graveyard of half-finished creative projects gathering dust.
Maybe it’s an outline of a novel, a half-built birdhouse in the workshop, or an abandoned blog — they’re all symptoms of emotional blockage. The initial burst of creativity is exhilarating, but as soon as the project demands real vulnerability or self-reflection, you hit a wall. Fear of failure, perfectionism, or anxiety about being exposed makes you feel vulnerable and it’s scary. By leaving these projects unfinished, you’re subconsciously protecting yourself from the emotional risks that come with putting your creations out into the world.
3. You mimic the personality traits of whoever you’re around.
It’s natural to adapt slightly to different social situations, but if you’re constantly shape-shifting your entire personality, it’s a red flag. This chameleon-like behaviour often stems from a deep-seated fear of rejection or a belief that your authentic self isn’t good enough. However, people would much rather know the real you than some mirror version of themselves.
4. You religiously avoid looking at your bank balance.
Financial avoidance is often rooted in deeper emotional issues, oddly enough. By refusing to face your financial reality, you’re sidestepping the complicated feelings that money can bring up — anxiety, shame, or a sense of inadequacy. This head-in-the-sand approach might provide temporary relief, but it ultimately keeps you stuck in unhealthy patterns.
5. You rehearse casual conversations in your head before they happen.
While a bit of mental preparation is normal, obsessively scripting every interaction is a sign of emotional blockage. You’re probably afraid of saying the wrong thing or being judged. By trying to control every aspect of a conversation, you’re avoiding the vulnerability that comes with spontaneous, genuine interactions. Just go with the flow!
6. You’ve developed in-depth knowledge of celebrity gossip or niche trivia.
Source: Unsplash It’s good to have interests, but using trivial knowledge as a conversational crutch can be a form of emotional avoidance. When you always talk about things that don’t ultimately matter, you create a buffer zone that keeps conversations safely superficial. This way, you don’t have to be vulnerable.
7. You’re constantly rearranging your living space.
This might seem productive, but there might be something deeper going on. This compulsive need for external order often masks internal chaos. By focusing on controlling your physical space, you’re avoiding confronting the messy, uncontrollable aspects of your emotional life.
8. You change the subject when conversations get too personal.
If you constantly deflect any conversation that gets too deep or vulnerable, you’ve got a blockage going on. By keeping conversations light and impersonal, you’re avoiding the risk of exposing your true feelings or experiences. However, this defence mechanism also keeps you from truly connecting with your feelings — and other people.
9. You have an uncanny ability to predict worst-case scenarios for every situation.
It’s good to be cautious at times, but if you’re always expecting disaster, that’s not normal or healthy. Catastrophising can come down to a deep-seated fear of uncertainty and vulnerability. By mentally preparing for the worst, you think you’re protecting yourself. In reality, you’re creating a constant state of anxiety that prevents you from fully engaging with life.
10. You often binge-watch entire series in a single sitting.
Occasional marathon viewing sessions are harmless, but if you’re regularly losing hours to streaming services, it might be a form of emotional avoidance. A compulsive viewing habit can be a way of escaping your own thoughts and feelings. By immersing yourself in fictional worlds, you’re putting your own life on pause, and that’s not a good thing.
11. You’re hyper-focused on curating the perfect social media presence.
An obsession with crafting an idealised digital version of yourself proves that you’re clearly afraid of being judged for who you really are. By carefully controlling what you share, you’re creating a barrier between your authentic self and the world. Sadly, this just reinforces the belief that your real self isn’t good enough, and that’s not true.
12. You can’t bear to sit still without some form of background noise.
If silence makes you deeply uncomfortable, it might be a sign of emotional avoidance. Constantly surrounding yourself with noise — be it music, podcasts, or television — can be a way of drowning out your own thoughts and feelings. Filling every moment with sound prevents you from sitting with your emotions and processing them effectively, which you should really do.
13. You have an intense, almost obsessive interest in self-improvement.
While personal growth is the point of life, an all-consuming focus on self-improvement is taking things too far. Embarking on some kind of pursuit of a ‘better you’ implies that you think there’s something seriously wrong with you just as you are. This just keeps you trapped in a cycle of self-hate.
14. You’re constantly planning elaborate future scenarios that never materialise.
Daydreaming about the future is something we all do, and it’s perfectly healthy, but if you’re spending more time in imaginary scenarios than engaging with your present reality, it’s a red flag. By focusing on idealised future versions of your life, you’re neglecting to address the emotional challenges of your present circumstances.
15. You’re hyper-critical of minor flaws in other people.
A tendency to judge people over the most ridiculously minor things is often a reflection of your feelings about yourself. By focusing on other people’s flaws, you’re deflecting attention from your own. Doing this not only strains your relationships but also prevents you from developing genuine empathy and self-acceptance.
