Being legitimately friendly is more than just smiling or making small talk, though those things are part of it.
In general, it’s really about how you make people feel when they’re around you. Some people might think they’re approachable, but their behaviour doesn’t always send that message. If you’re not making an effort to engage, listen, or show kindness, people might not see you as very kind or accessible. It’s the little things that make the biggest difference in how people see you, and if these habits are absent from your day-to-day interactions, chances are, you won’t exactly be considered friendly.
1. You don’t greet people warmly.
First impressions matter, and how you greet someone sets the tone for the whole interaction. If you barely acknowledge people, give a half-hearted “hey,” or skip greetings altogether, it can come across as cold. Friendly people make the effort to say hello in a way that feels genuine and welcoming. A warm greeting doesn’t have to be over the top; it just has to feel sincere. Making eye contact, adding a smile, or even using someone’s name can make a big difference. These small gestures show that you’re open and approachable.
2. You rarely ask people how they’re doing.
Friendly people take the time to check in on those around them, even in small ways. If you never ask people how they’re doing, it can make you seem uninterested in their lives. A simple “How’s your day going?” or “How have you been?” can show that you care. You need to do more than ask, too — you actually need to listen to the answer. If you only ask out of politeness and then tune out, people will notice. Engaging in these small moments helps build stronger connections.
3. You don’t smile much.
Facial expressions play a huge role in how people perceive you. If you always look serious, unapproachable, or uninterested, people may assume you don’t want to engage. A lack of warmth in your expression can make it harder for people to feel comfortable around you. Smiling, even slightly, makes interactions feel more natural and inviting. It signals that you’re open to conversation and makes people more likely to approach you. A small effort here can go a long way in making you seem friendlier.
4. You don’t initiate conversations.
If you always wait for other people to start a conversation, people might assume you’re not interested in talking. Friendly people don’t just respond when spoken to — they also take the initiative to start a chat. It shows you’re engaged and want to connect. Starting a conversation doesn’t have to be complicated. Commenting on something relevant, asking a simple question, or making a playful comment can be enough. The effort to start a discussion makes a big difference in how people see you.
5. You rarely give compliments.
Friendly people notice and acknowledge the good things about everyone around them. If you never give compliments or show appreciation, it can make you seem distant or uninterested. Simple compliments about someone’s style, work, or effort can brighten their day. Genuine compliments don’t have to be dramatic, they just have to be sincere. Recognising small things about people makes them feel seen and valued. It’s an easy way to build positive connections with those around you.
6. You don’t show interest in other people.
Conversations shouldn’t always be about you. If you rarely ask people about their lives, interests, or thoughts, it can make interactions feel one-sided. Friendly people take a genuine interest in what other people have to say. Showing interest doesn’t mean interrogating someone — it just means being engaged. Asking follow-up questions or responding with curiosity makes conversations feel more enjoyable. It shows that you actually care about the person you’re talking to.
7. You don’t laugh or engage in banter.
Friendly people aren’t afraid to share a laugh or engage in laid-back conversations. If you never joke around or react to humour, it can make interactions feel a bit stiff. Being open to fun moments makes socialising feel more natural. You don’t have to be the funniest person in the room, but responding to jokes and enjoying the moment makes a difference. Laughter helps break the ice and makes people feel at ease around you. A friendly attitude often starts with being open to having fun.
8. You keep conversations strictly surface-level.
Small talk has its place, but if all your conversations feel shallow, it can seem like you’re not really engaging. Friendly people don’t just skim the surface — they’re open to deeper, more meaningful discussions. They make the effort to connect beyond the usual “How’s the weather?” chats. Opening up a little or asking about someone’s thoughts on a topic shows you’re invested in the conversation. Meaningful interactions make friendships stronger and show that you actually care about getting to know people.
9. You don’t offer help when you can.
Friendly people look out for everyone else and lend a hand when it’s needed. If you rarely offer help, even in minor ways, it can make you seem distant. Small acts of kindness make a huge impact. Offering to help doesn’t mean going out of your way all the time. Even small gestures, like helping someone carry something or offering advice, show that you’re thoughtful. Friendly people make life easier for those around them when they can.
10. You don’t really listen to what people have to say.
Nodding along while waiting for your turn to talk isn’t the same as listening. If people feel like you’re not really paying attention to what they’re saying, they won’t see you as very friendly. Being engaged in conversations means actually processing what’s being said. Good listeners make people feel heard and valued. Simple things like maintaining eye contact, responding thoughtfully, and avoiding interruptions can make a conversation feel more genuine. It’s one of the easiest ways to build strong social connections.
11. You don’t acknowledge people when they enter a room.
If someone walks into a room, and you don’t acknowledge them, it can feel dismissive. Friendly people make an effort to acknowledge others, even with something as simple as a nod or a quick “Hey!” Ignoring people, even unintentionally, can make you seem unapproachable. Acknowledging someone doesn’t mean making a big fuss — it’s just about making them feel included. People remember how they felt around you, and a small effort to acknowledge them can go a long way.
12. You don’t adjust your tone to the situation.
Source: Unsplash Your tone plays a huge role in how people interpret your words. If your voice always sounds flat, uninterested, or overly serious, people may assume you’re cold or unapproachable. A friendly tone makes conversations feel warm and inviting. Small adjustments like adding enthusiasm, warmth, or even just softening your voice can change how people feel around you. It’s not about being fake — it’s about making sure your tone reflects your friendliness.
13. You don’t acknowledge when someone shares something personal.
Source: Unsplash If someone opens up about something personal, a friendly response shows that you care. Brushing it off, changing the subject, or not responding at all can make you seem disconnected. People appreciate when their thoughts and feelings are recognised. Even a simple “That sounds tough” or “I totally get that” can go a long way. Friendly people create a safe space for conversations, making everyone feel comfortable sharing more.
14. You rarely say thank you.
Source: Unsplash Gratitude is a simple but powerful way to show friendliness. If you rarely thank people, whether it’s for their time, effort, or kindness, it can make you seem unappreciative. A quick “Thanks!” can make someone feel valued. Friendly people make a habit of showing appreciation in everyday situations. Whether it’s thanking a colleague, a server, or a friend, these small moments build stronger connections.
15. You don’t make people feel included.
Source: Unsplash Being friendly means making sure people feel welcome. If you exclude people from conversations, ignore new people, or don’t make an effort to include everyone, you might not seem very approachable. Small gestures like inviting someone into a discussion make a difference. Inclusivity is one of the biggest signs of friendliness. People appreciate when someone goes out of their way to make them feel part of a group. It’s a small effort that leaves a lasting impression.
