Most people don’t set out to make their own life harder, but over the years, some unhelpful habits tend to sneak in and start running the show.
As a result, everything feels a whole lot harder and heavier than it needs to be. The thing is, you don’t even realise what you’re doing wrong, which makes it hard to change things. If you’re ready to feel less stuck, less bitter, and much more at peace, here are some things it might be time to stop doing—for good. After all, you only get one life, so you might as well make it the best one possible.
1. Saying yes just to avoid awkwardness
Agreeing to things you don’t want just so you don’t have to deal with the discomfort of saying no seems harmless. After a while, though, it creates resentment. You end up living a life shaped more by other people’s wants than your own boundaries. The short-term ease isn’t worth the long-term cost. The more you override yourself to keep things “smooth,” the more disconnected you feel from what you actually need. Awkwardness lasts five minutes. Misery lasts a lot longer.
2. Expecting other people to read your mind
Hinting, sulking, or waiting for someone to magically know what you need just sets you up for disappointment. Most people aren’t psychic, and expecting them to be only creates confusion and emotional distance. If you want clarity, you have to speak clearly. Being direct might feel uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to give people a real chance to meet you where you are. No one wins when everything stays unspoken.
3. Ignoring your gut because it’s inconvenient
You know that feeling—that tightness, that little “off” sense that you try to logic your way out of? Stop doing that. Your gut’s not trying to ruin things. It’s trying to protect you from wasting time, energy, or trust in the wrong places. When you ignore your own inner signals, you end up deep in situations that don’t feel good. Listening to your gut won’t always be easy, but it’ll keep you from building a life full of “I knew this didn’t feel right.”
4. Tying your self-worth to how productive you are
If your only measure of value is how much you get done, you’ll burn out, and still feel like it’s not enough. Hustle might impress people, but it won’t nourish you. You can’t outrun the emptiness with a longer to-do list. Rest, joy, and existing without output matter just as much. Your worth isn’t something you earn through exhaustion; it’s something you already have. Productivity is a tool, not a personality.
5. Blaming everyone else without taking any responsibility
Yes, people can hurt you. Circumstances can be unfair. However, if every single thing in your life is someone else’s fault, you’re giving away all your power. Growth starts when you’re willing to ask, “Where can I take ownership?” That doesn’t mean blaming yourself; it means realising you can’t control other people, but you can control how you move forward. Staying in blame mode keeps you stuck. Responsibility gets you unstuck.
6. Shrinking yourself to be more “likeable”
Dimming your light to keep the peace might keep things quiet, but it doesn’t make you happy. If you’re constantly editing who you are to avoid making anyone uncomfortable, you lose the parts of yourself that feel most alive. You weren’t meant to be universally palatable. The right people don’t need you to shrink; they want you real, not watered down. You don’t need to be everyone’s cup of tea to feel loved and accepted.
7. Waiting until you feel “ready” before starting
If you’re always waiting for confidence, energy, or the perfect timing, you’ll be waiting forever. Most of the things that matter in life start with you feeling unsure, awkward, or a little underprepared. You build confidence by doing, not by thinking about doing. Progress happens when you stop trying to perfect your starting point and just start. Clarity comes through action, not overthinking.
8. Letting fear of judgement run your decisions
Worrying about what other people might think is exhausting, and completely unproductive. Most of the time, people aren’t thinking about you nearly as much as you assume they are. They’re too busy being wrapped up in their own stuff. Living small because you’re scared of being seen isn’t safety—it’s self-rejection. Let people think what they want. Your peace is worth more than someone else’s comfort zone.
9. Staying loyal to things that no longer feel right
Just because you’ve invested time or energy into something doesn’t mean you owe it your future. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a version of yourself—you’re allowed to change your mind and walk away. Holding on out of guilt or habit just prolongs the damage. You don’t need to stay stuck just to prove you’re consistent. Growth requires movement, not attachment to what used to make sense.
10. Pretending things don’t bother you when they do
Bottling things up to “keep the peace” might feel noble, but it’s not sustainable. Suppressed feelings don’t disappear—they build resentment. And that resentment eventually leaks out sideways. Safe relationships can handle honesty. If you’re constantly swallowing your discomfort, you’re protecting everyone but yourself. Saying “this hurt” isn’t drama, it’s clarity—and clarity helps everyone, including you.
11. Comparing your life to people who aren’t even living it
Social media isn’t real life. Neither is someone’s curated highlight reel or the version of themselves they perform in public. If you’re measuring your worth against someone else’s filtered existence, you’re always going to lose. The only life you need to live is yours. And the more time you spend focusing on what’s in your control, the less power those comparisons have. They’re distractions, not truth.
12. Making jokes out of things that are actually serious for you
Humour can be a great coping tool, but if you’re constantly making light of your pain just so people don’t look too closely, that’s not healing. It’s avoidance in a clever disguise. You deserve to be taken seriously, even by yourself. Not everything has to be a punchline. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is say, “This actually matters to me,” and let people sit with that.
13. Thinking you’re “too old” or “too late” to change direction
This belief keeps so many people stuck in lives they’ve outgrown, but timelines are fake. There’s no expiry date on trying something new, setting a boundary, or becoming a version of yourself you actually like. If you’re still here, it’s not too late. Period. The idea that you’ve missed your window is just fear trying to dress up as logic. Don’t buy it. You get to start over as many times as you need.
14. Believing you’re the exception to being worthy of good things
Source: Unsplash That voice that says, “Sure, that works for other people, but not for you”? That’s not truth. That’s conditioning. Somewhere along the way, you started believing you had to settle for less, and it’s quietly stealing your joy. Stop treating your peace, rest, happiness, or love like something you have to earn by being perfect. You don’t need to prove anything to be allowed a good life. You just need to stop standing in your own way.
