At work, in your relationships, or just in your daily life, sometimes it feels like you’re shouting into the void.
Not being heard can be incredibly frustrating — how can people understand you if they’re not even listening? However, there are ways to get your point across and command people’s attention — here are just a few of them.
1. Take a minute to collect your thoughts before speaking.
When you’re feeling unheard, it’s tempting to blurt out whatever comes to mind. But taking a breath and organising your ideas can make a world of difference. Jot down key points if it helps, then express yourself clearly and calmly.
2. Pay attention to your body language.
Your words aren’t the only thing communicating. Stand or sit up straight, make eye contact, and use gestures to emphasise your points. The non-verbal cues you send can make you seem more confident and help other people take notice of what you’re saying.
3. Choose the right time and place for important conversations.
Trying to have a serious chat when someone’s distracted or in a rush is unlikely to work. Pick a moment when you can have their full attention, and consider the setting. A quiet, private space often works best for meaningful discussions.
4. Really tune in when other people are talking.
It might seem counterintuitive, but being a good listener can actually help you be heard. When you show genuine interest in what other people say, they’re more likely to return the favour. Plus, you’ll get insights that can help you communicate more effectively.
5. Use “I” statements to express your feelings.
Instead of pointing fingers or making accusations, frame your thoughts in terms of how you feel. For example, “I feel frustrated when…” Doing this is less likely to put other people on the defensive and more likely to open up a constructive dialogue.
6. Be specific and provide examples.
Vague complaints or generalisations are easy to dismiss. When you’re trying to make a point, use concrete examples to illustrate your concerns. This makes your message clearer and harder to ignore or misunderstand.
7. Ask questions to engage people in the conversation.
Turning your monologue into a dialogue can be a game-changer. Ask open-ended questions that encourage people to think about and respond to your points. This gets them invested in the conversation and more likely to really hear what you’re saying.
8. Repeat important points for emphasis.
Sometimes, key messages need to be said more than once to sink in. Don’t be afraid to restate your main points, perhaps using slightly different words each time. It sounds a bit strange, but repetition can help ensure your message is understood and remembered.
9. Use visual aids when appropriate.
If you’re dealing with complex ideas, consider using diagrams, charts, or even simple sketches to illustrate your points. Visual aids can make your message more memorable and easier to grasp, especially for visual learners.
10. Practice assertiveness without aggression.
Being assertive means standing up for yourself without trampling on other people. Speak firmly and confidently, but avoid raising your voice or using confrontational language. Assertiveness commands respect and attention without creating hostility.
11. Ask for feedback to make sure your message is understood.
After making your point, ask the person you’re chatting with to summarise what they’ve heard. This gives you a chance to clarify any misunderstandings and ensures that your message has been received as intended.
12. Consider the other person’s perspective.
Try to understand where the other person is coming from. What might be preventing them from hearing you? Addressing their concerns or acknowledging their viewpoint can make them more receptive to yours.
13. Use humour judiciously to lighten the mood.
A well-timed joke or light-hearted comment can break tension and make people more open to what you’re saying. Just be careful not to use humour to deflect from serious issues or to belittle other people’s concerns.
14. Know when to take a step back and try again later.
If you’ve tried everything and still feel unheard, it might be time to press pause. Sometimes, giving everyone (including yourself) some space to cool off and reflect can lead to more productive conversations down the line.
