Friendship should feel safe, supportive, and real.
Unfortunately, sometimes, certain comments stick with you—not because they were funny or kind, but because they left you feeling small, confused, or just… off. The thing is, not all toxic behaviour shows up as big arguments or dramatic fallouts. Sometimes, it’s in the little things people say again and again. If you hear these lines from a friend more than once, it might be time to have a closer look at what that friendship is actually doing for you (and to you), and maybe keep your distance.
1. “You’re being really sensitive right now.”
This one can feel like a slap in disguise. When you try to express how something made you feel, and they immediately dismiss it, it’s not helpful, it’s invalidating. Instead of owning up or hearing you out, they flip it to make it about your reaction, not their behaviour. In the long run, this can mess with your ability to trust your own feelings. If someone constantly tells you that you’re too sensitive, what they’re really saying is, “I don’t want to take responsibility for hurting you.”
2. “I was just joking—can’t you take a joke?”
There’s joking, and then there’s hiding behind jokes to say hurtful things. If their “humour” always seems to come at your expense, and you’re the one left uncomfortable, it’s not a joke; it’s a pattern. Real friends care about how their words land. If they’re always brushing things off with this line, they’re not being funny; they’re being dismissive. And that gets old, fast.
3. “Well, at least I’m not like [insert insult here].”
Whether they’re comparing you to someone they don’t respect or using backhanded compliments, this kind of dig is a subtle power move. They want to come off as better, even if it means cutting you down. It might sound like a throwaway comment, but if it keeps happening, it’s a form of low-key competition, and friendship shouldn’t feel like a game you’re losing.
4. “You always make everything about you.”
This one often gets thrown out when you’re finally opening up about your own stuff. Instead of showing empathy, they accuse you of being self-centred, even if the conversation was actually balanced or overdue. It’s a way to shut you down and re-centre the focus on them. Healthy friendships allow space for both people to share without keeping score.
5. “I guess you just can’t handle honesty.”
This usually comes right after they’ve said something unnecessarily harsh. They wrap up their rudeness in the label of “honesty” as if that makes it noble. The thing is, honesty isn’t about being brutal; it’s about being clear and kind. If they consistently hurt you and then act like it’s your fault for not liking the delivery, that’s not honesty. That’s just bad behaviour dressed up as truth.
6. “You’re lucky to have me.”
It might be said half-jokingly, but if they repeat it often, there’s probably some truth behind it. It implies you’re somehow less than, and they’re doing you a favour by sticking around. Friendship isn’t a charity; it’s a two-way street. If someone constantly reminds you of your “luck” in knowing them, it might be time to reassess what you’re actually getting out of the deal.
7. “Wow, okay, I guess I can’t say anything around you.”
This one tends to show up after you’ve called out something they said that felt off. Instead of reflecting, they flip it and make you feel like you’re overreacting or hard to talk to. It’s a form of emotional shutdown. Rather than engaging with your feelings, they make it about their discomfort with being challenged. That’s not growth; that’s avoidance.
8. “Sorry I’ve been MIA, I’ve just been so busy.”
Life gets busy, sure, but when this becomes their standard excuse every time you reach out, it starts to feel like you’re chasing someone who never quite shows up. If they’re always “too busy” for you but seem to have time for everyone else, it’s worth questioning how much of a priority you really are in their life.
9. “You’re totally overreacting.”
This one shuts things down real quick. Instead of asking why you feel the way you do, they jump straight to minimising it. Suddenly, you’re left second-guessing your emotions. After a while, this can seriously eat away at your confidence. A good friend might not always agree with how you feel, but they’ll care enough to understand where you’re coming from.
10. “I’m just being real.”
Translation: “I’m saying something unkind, and I don’t want to be called out for it.” There’s a big difference between authenticity and tactlessness, and some people pretend not to know the line. Being “real” isn’t an excuse to be disrespectful. If your friend often uses this line after saying something that made you feel small, it might be worth exploring whether they’re just using “realness” to excuse cruelty.
11. “You used to be more fun.”
Ah, the guilt-trip disguised as nostalgia. If you’ve set a boundary or started making healthier choices, this one often comes out to pull you back into old patterns. It’s not about missing the old you; it’s about missing the version of you that didn’t say no. Friends who respect growth don’t make you feel bad for changing. They cheer you on.
12. “You’re so dramatic.”
Expressing a normal emotional reaction shouldn’t earn you this label. But some people use it to invalidate your feelings and avoid accountability for how they might’ve contributed to the situation. Eventually, this can make you suppress things just to keep the peace. Honestly, though, that’s not peace; it’s just silence shaped by discomfort.
13. “I don’t get why that bothers you.”
Maybe they’ve done something that genuinely upset you. Instead of trying to understand, they dismiss your reaction because it wouldn’t bother them personally. Not everything needs to make sense to them in order for it to matter. Friends don’t need to relate to every emotion—they just need to respect that it’s real for you.
14. “If I were you, I’d just get over it.”
Healing isn’t linear, and it’s rarely fast. If you’re going through something tough and your friend seems impatient with your emotions, it can feel incredibly isolating. This line often reveals someone who isn’t comfortable holding space for discomfort. But good friends don’t rush your healing. They walk with you through it, even when it’s slow.
15. “I didn’t mean it like that, so it shouldn’t hurt.”
Intentions matter, yes, but so do impacts. If someone regularly hurts you but refuses to acknowledge how their words or actions landed, it becomes less about accidents and more about patterns. You can have the kindest intentions in the world and still cause harm. Real friends care about both—they own their stuff and make space for yours.
16. “Well, you’re not perfect either.”
This line usually pops up when you’ve set a boundary or asked for change. Instead of engaging, they get defensive and throw something back at you to level the playing field. No one’s perfect, of course, but bringing up your flaws to deflect from theirs isn’t a conversation, it’s a shutdown. Real friendship involves being able to give and receive feedback without turning it into a blame game.
