By Everyone is guilty of making promises they don’t end up keeping sometimes, but that doesn’t make it right.
Maybe you had the best of intentions, but then something legitimately cropped up that made keeping your word impossible. Or, maybe you’re a people-pleaser who will say anything to make people happy, even if it’s a load of rubbish. Either way, if you say these things, chances are your promises don’t hold much weight these days.
1. “I’ll definitely get back to you on that.”
Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with taking your time to consider something someone’s asking of you before committing, but if this is your default response to even simple questions, you’re clearly trying to flake out without directly saying “no”.
2. “Let’s catch up soon!”
We’ve all said this one — I know I have! The problem is, “soon” is pretty vague. If you really want to catch up, try suggesting a specific date or time. Otherwise, it’s easy for “soon” to turn into “never”. If you’re not sure about your schedule, maybe say something like, “I’d love to catch up when things calm down a bit”.
3. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Unless you’re actually five minutes away, this is probably not true. It’s more likely that you underestimated the time it would take to get ready/to get somewhere, or you’re chronically late but don’t want to admit it. If you say you’re going to be somewhere at a certain time, barring any real emergencies, make it happen.
4. “I’ll start my diet on Monday.”
Monday comes and goes, and that diet never starts. If you’re serious about making changes, don’t wait for some magical future date. Start now, even if it’s just a small change. It doesn’t matter if you already had McDonald’s for lunch — you don’t need Pizza Hut for dinner. And if you’re not ready, that’s okay too. Just be honest with yourself about it.
5. “I’ll never do that again.”
Never is a strong word, but you probably say it in the heat of the moment when you’re feeling guilty or embarrassed. However, old habits are hard to break, and saying you’ll “never” do something again sets a pretty high standard (and possibly an unrealistic one). Say you’ll try your best and leave it at that.
6. “I’m almost done.”
This one’s tricky because “almost” is subjective. If you’ve still got a fair bit of work to do, saying you’re almost done can set unrealistic expectations that you’re going to wrap things up in the next few minutes. It’s better to be specific about what’s left to do or how much longer you think it will take. At least then, people know what they’re in for.
7. “I’ll remember that, no need to write it down.”
Unless you’ve got a photographic memory, chances are you might forget. There’s no shame in jotting things down or setting a reminder. It shows you’re taking the task seriously. It takes five seconds to type a quick note into your phone — there’s no reason not to!
8. “I’ll do it later.”
Ah, procrastination’s best friend. The problem with “later” is that it’s always in the future. If you keep pushing things to “later”, they might never get done. If you can’t do something right away, try to set a specific time when you will do it. It makes you more accountable.
9. “I’ll be there, rain or shine.”
Life happens, and sometimes you can’t make it to things even if you really want to. Instead of promising something so definite, maybe say “I’ll do my best to be there.” This way, you show you’re committed without making a promise you might not be able to keep.
10. “I’ll quit smoking/drinking/etc. after this one.”
Breaking habits is tough, and setting a specific end point like this often doesn’t work. If you’re serious about quitting something, it’s better to make a plan and get proper support for it rather than making a spur-of-the-moment promise. And if you’re not ready to quit, that’s okay too.
11. “I’ll love you forever.”
This one’s a bit heavy, but it’s worth mentioning. Feelings change, and forever is a long time. While it’s a romantic thing to say, it’s not always realistic. A plain old “I love you” or “I’m committed to our relationship” might be more honest ways to express your feelings.
12. “I’ll get it done by the end of the day.”
It’s easy to underestimate how long a specific task will take, especially if it’s something you haven’t done before. If you’re not sure you can finish something by the end of the day, it’s better to give yourself some wiggle room. Maybe say, “I’ll aim to get it done by the end of the day, but it might spill over to tomorrow.” If you get done early, that’s a gold star for you!
13. “I’ll keep your secret.”
Secrets have a way of slipping out, even when we don’t mean them to. If someone’s sharing something sensitive with you, it’s better to say “I’ll do my best to keep this confidential” rather than promising absolute secrecy, especially if what they’re telling you is something potentially harmful or affects other people and may need to be communicated.
14. “I’ll be there for you, no matter what.”
While this comes from a good place, it’s a big promise to make. You can’t always be there for everyone, all the time. Instead, you could say something like, “I’ll do my best to support you when you need me.” It shows you care without setting an impossible standard for yourself.
15. “I’ll pay you back as soon as I get paid.”
Even if you really do plan to pay someone back right away, unexpected expenses can pop up. Instead of making a promise you might not be able to keep, try setting a specific date for repayment. Or, if you’re not sure, be upfront about that uncertainty so that the other person can decide whether or not they can afford to let you borrow cash from them.
16. “I’ll always be honest with you.”
Honesty is great, but “always” is a strong word. There might be times when a white lie seems kinder, or when you’re not ready to share everything. Instead, you could say, “I value honesty in our relationship, and I’ll do my best to be open with you.” That seems more realistic, doesn’t it?
17. “I’ll change, I promise.”
Change is hard, and it doesn’t happen overnight. While it’s good to want to improve yourself, making a blanket promise to change can set you up for failure. Instead, try being specific about what you want to change and how you plan to do it. It’s more actionable and shows you’re serious about making an effort.
