At some point, you’ve probably found yourself stuck in a conversation where you’re just nodding along, secretly wishing you were somewhere else.
Sometimes, we say things out of politeness or social obligation, even when we don’t really mean them. But hey, there’s no shame in admitting that you’re not always genuinely invested in everything everyone has to say all the time. If you say these things, you probably really don’t care.
1. “I’m so happy for you!” (when you’re secretly green with envy)
Your friend just landed their dream job, or your neighbour bought a new car. You plaster on a smile and say, “I’m so happy for you!” But deep down, you’re feeling a pang of jealousy. It’s okay to admit that you’re not always thrilled about other people’s successes. Instead of faking it, try being honest with yourself about your feelings. It’s more genuine to say, “Congratulations! I’m a little envious, but I’m truly happy for you.”
2. “That sounds amazing!” (when you’re actually bored to tears)
Your coworker is describing their weekend plans in excruciating detail, or your aunt is recounting her latest medical procedure. You politely chime in with, “That sounds amazing!” even though you’re secretly dying inside. It’s okay to not be interested in every single detail of someone else’s life. Instead of pretending to be enthralled, try gently steering the conversation towards a topic that you both find engaging.
3. “We should totally hang out sometime!” (when you have no intention of following through)
You bump into an acquaintance at the grocery store, and out of habit, you blurt out, “We should totally hang out sometime!” But let’s be real, you have no desire to spend your free time with this person. It’s okay to be selective about who you spend your time with. Instead of making empty promises, try saying something like, “It was great running into you!” or “Let’s catch up soon on social media.”
4. “I’m fine.” (when you’re actually feeling anything but fine)
Someone asks how you’re doing, and you automatically respond with, “I’m fine,” even though you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or downright miserable. It’s okay to not be okay all the time. In fact, acknowledging your emotions is a healthy way to process them. Instead of bottling things up, try being honest about how you’re feeling. It could open the door to a meaningful conversation and potentially some much-needed support.
5. “No worries!” (when you’re secretly fuming inside)
Someone cuts you off in traffic, or your neighbour’s dog leaves a “present” on your lawn. You grit your teeth and say, “No worries!” even though you’re seething with anger. It’s okay to be annoyed or frustrated by other people’s actions. Instead of suppressing your emotions, try expressing them in a healthy way. Maybe talk it out with a friend, or write down your frustrations in a journal.
6. “I’m so sorry!” (when you don’t actually feel sorry)
You accidentally bump into someone, or you forget to RSVP to a party. You quickly apologise, even though you don’t feel particularly remorseful. It’s okay to not apologise for every little thing. In fact, overdoing can make you seem less confident and sincere. Instead of apologising out of habit, try taking a moment to assess the situation. If you genuinely feel sorry, then say you’re sorry. But if not, don’t force it.
7. “You look great!” (when you haven’t even really noticed)
A friend or family member shows up with a new haircut or outfit, and you automatically say, “You look great!” even though you haven’t really taken the time to notice. It’s okay to not always have a compliment ready. Instead of offering generic praise, try being more specific. For example, you could say, “I love the colour of your new shirt!” or “Your hair looks so shiny and healthy.”
8. “That’s so interesting!” (when you’re secretly zoning out)
Someone is telling you a story that you find utterly boring, but you don’t want to be rude, so you occasionally interject with, “That’s so interesting!” It’s okay to not be fascinated by everything everyone says. Instead of pretending to be engaged, try politely excusing yourself from the conversation. You could say something like, “I’m so sorry, but I need to take care of something. It was great chatting with you!”
9. “Let me know if you need anything.” (but you secretly hope they don’t)
Someone is going through a tough time, and you offer the generic, “Let me know if you need anything.” But in reality, you’re hoping they don’t actually take you up on your offer. It’s okay to not want to be everyone’s emotional support system. Instead of making a vague offer, try being more specific. You could say, “I’m here to listen if you want to talk,” or “I’m making dinner tonight, would you like me to bring you a plate?”
10. “I’m praying for you.” (when you don’t actually believe in prayer)
Source: Unsplash Someone is going through a difficult situation, and you offer your thoughts and prayers, even though you’re not religious. It’s okay to not believe in prayer, but it’s important to be respectful of other people’s beliefs. Instead of offering prayers, try expressing your support in a different way. You could say, “I’m thinking of you and sending positive energy your way,” or “I’m here for you if you need anything at all.”
11. “I’m not judging you.” (when you’re totally judging them)
A friend confesses a secret or makes a questionable decision, and you quickly assure them, “I’m not judging you,” even though you’re secretly judging them hard. It’s okay to have opinions and judgments, but it’s important to be mindful of how you express them. Instead of offering unsolicited advice or criticism, try simply listening and validating their feelings. You could say, “I hear you,” or “I understand why you feel that way.”
12. “It’s not a big deal.” (when it actually is a big deal to you)
Someone does something that hurts or upsets you, and you brush it off with, “It’s not a big deal.” But deep down, it really is a big deal to you. It’s okay to be affected by other people’s actions. Instead of downplaying your feelings, try expressing them honestly. You could say, “I’m actually feeling hurt by what you said,” or “I need some time to process this.”
13. “I’m so jealous!” (when you don’t actually care)
Your friend is going on an exotic holiday or getting a promotion, and you exclaim, “I’m so jealous!” even though you’re not actually envious. It’s okay to not be jealous of everyone’s good fortune. Instead of faking it, try being genuinely happy for them. You could say, “That’s amazing news! I’m so happy for you.”
14. “I’m always here for you.” (when you’re not really available)
You tell a friend, “I’m always here for you,” but in reality, you’re swamped with work, family obligations, or your own personal issues. It’s okay to not always be available for everyone. Instead of making promises you can’t keep, try being upfront about your limitations. You could say, “I’m here for you, but I’m going through a lot right now. Can we talk next week instead?”
15. “I understand how you feel.” (when you have no idea how they feel)
Someone is going through a difficult experience, and you try to relate by saying, “I understand how you feel.” But unless you’ve been through something similar, you can’t truly understand. It’s okay to not have all the answers. Instead of offering empty platitudes, try simply listening and validating their emotions. You could say, “That sounds really tough,” or “I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
16. “I’m so proud of you!” (when you don’t really know what they’ve accomplished)
Someone tells you about an achievement or milestone, and you automatically respond with, “I’m so proud of you!” even though you don’t fully understand what they’ve done. It’s okay to not know everything about everyone. Instead of offering generic praise, try asking questions and showing genuine interest in their accomplishment.
17. “You’re so strong.” (when you’re secretly worried about them)
Someone is going through a tough time, and you tell them, “You’re so strong,” even though you’re worried about how they’re coping. It’s okay to be concerned about someone you care about. Instead of offering empty reassurance, try expressing your concern in a supportive way. You could say, “I’m here for you, no matter what,” or “I’m worried about you, but I know you’ll get through this.”
18. “Everything happens for a reason.” (when you know it’s just a cliché)
Someone is facing a difficult situation, and you try to comfort them with the cliché, “Everything happens for a reason.” But sometimes, bad things happen for no reason at all. It’s okay to acknowledge the pain and suffering in the world. Instead of offering empty platitudes, try simply being present and listening with empathy. Sometimes, the most comforting thing you can do is simply be there for someone.
