If You Say These 16 Phrases on a First Date, You're Probably Not Getting a Second One

Envato Elements

First dates are a minefield of potential blunders. One wrong word, one ill-timed phrase, and your chances of a second date can vanish faster than your appetizer. So, if you’re hoping to score a second rendezvous, avoid these conversational landmines at all costs. Trust us, your date (and your future love life) will thank you.

1. “My ex always said…”

Whoa, pump the brakes on that ex-talk express. Bringing up your past relationships, especially in a negative light, is a major red flag. It makes you look hung up on your ex and not ready for a new connection. Let’s keep the focus on the present, shall we?

2. “I hate this place.”

Even if the restaurant is serving up questionable cuisine or the bar is blasting ear-splitting music, complaining about the venue is annoying. It makes you seem negative and high-maintenance. Instead, find something positive to say or suggest a change of scenery with a smile.

3. “I’m not really looking for anything serious.”

If you’re not interested in a relationship, that’s perfectly fine, but announcing it on the first date is a guaranteed way to kill the mood. It makes your date feel like they’re wasting their time and that you’re not genuinely invested in getting to know them. Be honest about your intentions, but maybe save that conversation for a later time.

4. “I’m so broke right now.”

Talking about your financial woes on a first date is a major turn-off. It makes you appear irresponsible and can create an awkward dynamic, especially if your date is picking up the tab. Keep the conversation light and positive, and save the money talk for another time.

5. “I don’t believe in [insert controversial topic].”

Whether it’s religion, politics, or pineapple on pizza, avoid diving into controversial topics on a first date. It can lead to heated debates and leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. Instead, focus on finding common ground and shared interests.

6. “I’m not really a [insert activity your date enjoys].”

If your date is passionate about something you don’t care for, don’t dismiss their interests outright. It’s okay to have different hobbies, but expressing disinterest can make you seem closed-minded and incompatible. Instead, show curiosity and ask questions to learn more about their passions.

7. “You remind me of my [insert family member].”

Comparing your date to a family member, especially a parent or sibling, is creepy and can create an uncomfortable vibe. It’s like saying, “Hey, you remind me of someone I’m definitely not attracted to!” Keep those familial comparisons to yourself.

8. “So, when are we getting married?”

Whoa there, cowboy! Slow your roll. Bringing up marriage on a first date is a major no-no. It’s far too soon to be talking about wedding bells and can scare your date away faster than you can say “I do.” Enjoy the moment and let things progress naturally.

9. “I’m not really a people person.”

If you’re on a date, it’s safe to assume you’re trying to connect with another human being. So, declaring your aversion to people is a bit of a paradox. It makes you seem antisocial and can raise doubts about your ability to form meaningful relationships.

10. “My therapist says…”

While therapy is a great tool for personal growth, discussing your therapist’s insights on a first date can be a bit overwhelming. It’s like inviting a third wheel to the party. Keep the conversation light and focused on getting to know each other, and save the deep dives for later.

11. “I’m really picky.”

Whether it’s about food, movies, or potential partners, announcing your pickiness can be a turn-off. It makes you seem high-maintenance and difficult to please. Instead, focus on the things you do enjoy and keep an open mind.

12. “I’ve never been on a good date before.”

Setting a negative tone for the date is a recipe for disaster. It creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and can make your date feel like they’re doomed to fail. Instead, approach the date with optimism and a willingness to have fun.

13. “I’m not really into [insert something your date is passionate about].”

male and female colleague chatting at cafe — Unsplash

If your date is passionate about something you don’t share an interest in, don’t be a Debbie Downer. It’s okay to have different hobbies and interests, but expressing disinterest can make you seem incompatible. Instead, show curiosity and ask questions to learn more about their passions.

14. “I’m still not over my ex.”

This is a major red flag. If you’re not over your ex, you’re not ready to date. It’s unfair to both you and your date to start a new relationship while carrying emotional baggage from the past. Take the time to heal and move on before jumping back into the dating pool.

15. “I’m really good at [insert bragging point].”

A little confidence is attractive, but excessive bragging can be a major turn-off. It makes you seem arrogant and self-centred. Instead, let your actions speak for themselves and allow your date to discover your positive qualities naturally.

16. “So, what are your dealbreakers?”

While it’s important to know what you’re looking for in a partner, grilling your date about their dealbreakers on a first date can feel like an interrogation. It creates a serious and intense vibe that can kill the romance. Instead, focus on getting to know them on a personal level and let the conversation flow naturally.