We all have expectations in our relationships, but sometimes these can veer into unrealistic territory.
If you find yourself saying these things often, it might be time to recalibrate your expectations. Here are 21 phrases that suggest you might be expecting too much from the people in your life.
1. “You should know what I want without me having to tell you.”
Source: Unsplash This expectation of mind-reading is a recipe for disappointment. Even the closest relationships require clear communication. People aren’t psychic, and assuming they should automatically know your needs or desires is unfair and sets everyone up for frustration.
2. “If you really loved me, you’d…”
Source: Unsplash Love doesn’t mean meeting every demand or expectation. This phrase is manipulative and puts unfair pressure on the other person. Real love involves understanding, compromise, and respecting each other’s boundaries.
3. “You never make mistakes.”
Source: Unsplash Expecting perfection from anyone is unrealistic. Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s okay. It’s how we learn and grow. Holding someone to an impossibly high standard only leads to disappointment and resentment.
4. “You should always prioritise me over everything else.”
Source: Unsplash While it’s nice to feel important, expecting to always be someone’s top priority is unrealistic. People have multiple commitments and responsibilities. A healthy relationship allows for balance and respects other aspects of a person’s life.
5. “You shouldn’t need alone time if you’re with me.”
Source: Unsplash Everyone needs some time to themselves, regardless of how close they are to someone. Expecting constant companionship or taking offence at someone’s need for solitude is unrealistic and can be suffocating.
6. “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase often justifies poor behaviour. While supportive relationships weather ups and downs, it’s unrealistic to expect someone to tolerate consistent bad behaviour or extreme mood swings without any effort to improve.
7. “You should always agree with me.”
Source: Unsplash Expecting constant agreement is not only unrealistic, but also unhealthy. Differing opinions and respectful disagreements are normal and can lead to growth. A relationship where one person always defers to the other lacks balance.
8. “You should be able to fix all my problems.”
Source: Unsplash While support is important in relationships, expecting someone to solve all your issues is unrealistic. People can offer help and comfort, but ultimately, many problems require personal work or professional help to resolve.
9. “You should never be attracted to anyone else.”
Source: Unsplash It’s natural for people to find other people attractive, even when in a committed relationship. Expecting someone to never notice or appreciate other people’s attractiveness is unrealistic. What matters is how they act on those feelings.
10. “You should like all the same things I do.”
Source: Unsplash Shared interests are great, but it’s unrealistic to expect complete alignment in tastes and hobbies. Healthy relationships allow for individual preferences and can even benefit from some differences.
11. “You should be available whenever I need you.”
Source: Unsplash Expecting constant availability is unrealistic and disregards the other person’s commitments and needs. Everyone has times when they’re unavailable or need space.
12. “You should never get angry with me.”
Source: Unsplash Anger is a normal human emotion. Expecting someone to never feel or express anger towards you is unrealistic. What’s important is how anger is expressed and resolved.
13. “If you really cared, you’d change for me.”
While personal growth is important, expecting someone to fundamentally change who they are for you is unrealistic. Genuine change comes from within, not from external pressure.
14. “You should always put my needs before your own.”
Constant self-sacrifice isn’t healthy or sustainable. It’s unrealistic to expect someone to always prioritise your needs over their own. Healthy relationships involve give and take.
15. “You should be able to read my mood and act accordingly.”
Like mind-reading, expecting someone to always accurately gauge and respond to your mood is unrealistic. Clear communication about your feelings is much more effective.
16. “You should never look at your phone when you’re with me.”
While it’s nice to have someone’s full attention, expecting them to completely ignore their phone at all times is unrealistic in today’s connected world. What’s important is finding a balance that works for both people.
17. “You should always choose me over your friends/family.”
Expecting someone to consistently prioritise you over other important relationships in their life is unrealistic and potentially isolating. Healthy relationships allow for multiple meaningful connections.
18. “You should never have doubts about our relationship.”
Source: Unsplash It’s normal to have occasional doubts or questions in a relationship. Expecting unwavering certainty at all times is unrealistic and ignores the complexity of human emotions.
19. “You should be able to make me happy all the time.”
Happiness is ultimately an internal state. While other people can contribute to our happiness, expecting someone to be responsible for your constant happiness is unrealistic and puts unfair pressure on them.
20. “You should always know the right thing to say.”
No one always knows the perfect words for every situation. Expecting flawless verbal support is unrealistic. Sometimes, just being present is enough.
21. “You should never need to ask for forgiveness.”
Everyone makes mistakes or hurts people unintentionally sometimes. Expecting someone to never need forgiveness is unrealistic. What’s important is how apologies are made and received, and how conflicts are resolved.
