You don’t need to be loud or intimidating to get people to take you seriously.
If it’s respect and consideration you want from everyone around you, demanding it is often about the things you don’t do as much as the ones you do. You might have certain habits that undermine your credibility or make you seem weak or unsure of yourself without even realising it, and who wants that? Once you drop these bad (and totally unnecessary) behaviours from your daily life, the shift in people’s attitude toward you will be major and immediate. They won’t be able to help but quiet down and listen when you’re talking, and they’ll naturally start to hold you in pretty high regard.
1. Over-apologising for everything
Saying “sorry” for things you don’t need to apologise for makes you seem unsure of yourself. It’s fine to acknowledge a mistake, but when you’re apologising for every little thing, it starts to lose meaning. Instead, try saying “thanks for your patience” or just moving on — it makes you sound more confident and less like you’re tiptoeing through life.
2. Speaking without thinking first
If you’re blurting out whatever pops into your head, people might not take what you say seriously. Taking a moment to gather your thoughts shows that you care about what you’re contributing. Plus, when you do speak, people are more likely to listen because they’ll know you’ve put some thought into it.
3. Avoiding eye contact
Looking everywhere but at the person you’re talking to can make you seem uncomfortable or like you’re hiding something. Sure, it can feel a bit awkward to look someone square in the face, especially if you’re not used to it, but making natural, steady eye contact shows you’re engaged and confident in what you’re saying. Don’t stare them down, by any means, but make it clear you’re actually present and invested in the conversation.
4. Interrupting and talking over people all the time
No one likes being cut off, and doing it too often can come across as dismissive or impatient. It’s easy to get excited and jump in, but letting people finish their thoughts shows you value their input. Waiting your turn also means your points will land better when it’s your time to talk.
5. Making everything about you
We’ve all been in conversations where someone keeps steering it back to their own experiences—it gets old fast. While sharing your story can be great, it’s important to balance it with genuine interest in the other person’s perspective. Asking questions and showing you’re listening goes a long way in building trust.
6. Overusing filler words like “um” or “like”
Filler words sneak into everyone’s speech, but overdoing it can make you sound uncertain. Taking a pause instead of filling the gap can make your words pack more of a punch. Practising this helps you come across as clear, confident, and in control of the conversation.
7. Complaining without trying to fix the problem
Pointing out problems is easy, but doing it all the time without suggesting fixes can make you seem negative. People respect those who don’t just spot issues but also think about how to solve them. Even if your idea isn’t perfect, showing you’re willing to help makes a big difference.
8. Being overly defensive
Getting defensive every time someone gives feedback can make it hard for people to be honest with you. Taking a minute to listen and understand their perspective shows you’re open to improvement. It’s not about agreeing with everything—it’s about handling criticism with grace and thoughtfulness.
9. Showing up late all the time
Being late now and then happens to everyone, but if it’s a habit, people might start thinking you don’t respect their time. Making an effort to be punctual shows you’re dependable and value their schedule. Plus, being on time sets the tone for everything that follows.
10. Ignoring boundaries
Whether it’s personal or professional, crossing someone’s boundaries, whether on purpose or accidentally, can make things awkward fast. Paying attention to what other people are comfortable with shows you’re respectful and thoughtful. It’s a simple way to build trust and avoid unnecessary tension.
11. Downplaying your own achievements
Being humble is great, but constantly brushing off your successes can make you seem like you don’t believe in yourself. Sharing what you’re proud of in a balanced way lets people see your value without coming off as bragging. Confidence in your achievements encourages other people to trust your abilities.
12. Gossiping about people
Talking behind people’s backs might feel like harmless venting, but it can quickly make you seem untrustworthy. If someone hears you gossiping, they might assume you’d do the same to them. Keeping conversations positive or productive shows you’re someone people can rely on for honesty.
13. Shifting the blame when things go wrong
Blaming other people or sidestepping accountability when mistakes happen can make you look unreliable. Owning up to what went wrong and focusing on how to fix it shows integrity and maturity. People are more likely to respect you when they see you take responsibility instead of deflecting.
14. Not following through on your commitments
If you say you’re going to do something or be somewhere, make it happen. When you make promises but don’t deliver, it’s hard for people to trust you. Being reliable doesn’t mean you have to say yes to everything, of course, but it does mean doing what you say you will. Following through consistently builds your reputation as someone people can count on.
