Some parents rule with an iron fist and expect total obedience from their kids.
Others (thankfully) take a more balanced approach, guiding their kids with patience and understanding. Emotionally intelligent parents don’t just make the rules; they explain them. They don’t just discipline; they teach. They know that kids aren’t robots who blindly follow orders, and they never shut down emotions just because they’re inconvenient. If your parents never said these things to you, chances are, they had a deeper understanding of emotions, communication, and what it really means to raise a confident, secure child.
1. “Because I said so.”
For some parents, this is the ultimate power move. No discussion, no explanation, just, “Do as I say.” But emotionally intelligent parents know kids deserve a bit more than that. Instead of shutting down questions, they explained why certain rules existed. They weren’t afraid to have real conversations, knowing that kids learn better when they understand the reasoning behind things. Sure, they still expected respect, but they also gave it in return.
2. “Stop crying — it’s not a big deal.”
Crying over something small? That’s childhood. Parents with high EQ didn’t respond with “Oh, come on, that’s nothing.” They knew that feelings, no matter how tiny, felt huge to their child. Instead of brushing it off, they validated emotions. They helped their children understand and process feelings rather than teaching them to stuff everything down. As a result, their kids grew up knowing that emotions weren’t something to be ashamed of.
3. “I don’t have time for this.”
Life gets busy, but these parents didn’t make their child feel like an inconvenience. They didn’t act like their kid’s worries were interruptions in their “real” life. Even if they couldn’t stop everything at that moment, they made sure their child knew they mattered. Whether it was through a quick “Let’s talk about this later” or by setting aside time to listen, they showed up when it counted.
4. “You’re overreacting.”
They didn’t decide how their child should feel; if their kid was upset, they took it seriously instead of making them feel ridiculous for caring too much. Rather than dismissing emotions, they helped their child work through them. Maybe they didn’t always understand why something mattered so much, but they knew that telling their kid to ‘calm down’ wasn’t the way to handle it.
5. “You should be more like your sibling.”
Comparisons were not their thing. They didn’t pit their kids against each other or act like one was the “golden child,” while the other had to catch up. They saw their child as an individual, not just part of a matching set. They knew every kid has their own strengths, and they celebrated those instead of creating competition.
6. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Instead of dodging tough conversations, they met their child where they were. They might not have explained everything in full detail, but they didn’t dismiss curiosity either. They believed in honesty — age-appropriate honesty, but still honesty. They didn’t act like kids weren’t capable of understanding complex things. Instead, they gave them credit for being able to think and ask good questions.
7. “I told you so.”
Some parents love to rub in the fact that they were right. Emotionally intelligent parents, however, knew that mistakes were lessons, not “I told you so” moments. Instead of turning everything into a power trip, they helped their child reflect. If a decision went badly, they didn’t say, “See? Should have listened to me.” They guided their child through what went wrong and how to approach things differently next time.
8. “You’re fine, get over it.”
They never treated their child’s emotions like they were just an inconvenience. Even if it seemed like an overreaction, they understood that feelings are real, even if they don’t always make sense. Instead of pushing them to ‘move on’ before they were ready, they helped their child process emotions. They taught resilience, not emotional suppression.
9. “That’s just how life is.”
They didn’t raise their child to just accept things as they were. Instead, they encouraged them to think critically, find solutions, and believe that they had power over their own life. If something was unfair, they didn’t say, “Tough luck.” They helped their child understand how to navigate challenges and take action rather than feeling helpless.
10. “I’m the parent, I know best.”
Sure, they were in charge, but they didn’t let authority get in the way of connection. They didn’t act like being an adult automatically meant they had all the answers. Instead, they were open to conversations. They explained decisions, answered questions, and if they got something wrong, they owned it. They didn’t expect blind obedience; they expected mutual respect.
11. “You’re a bit too sensitive.”
Source: Unsplash They didn’t make their child feel weak for having big emotions. Instead of telling them to “toughen up,” they taught them how to handle feelings in a way that was healthy and constructive. That’s because they knew that sensitivity isn’t a flaw; it’s actually a sign of emotional intelligence. So instead of shutting it down, they helped their child navigate emotions with self-awareness and confidence.
12. “If you really loved me, you’d do this.”
They never used love as a bargaining chip. Guilt trips weren’t part of their parenting style because they knew that real love isn’t about obligation or sacrifice. They taught that love is about mutual respect, not manipulation. Their child grew up understanding that a healthy relationship isn’t built on guilt or pressure; it’s built on trust.
13. “I never said that.”
If they messed up, they didn’t rewrite history. They didn’t make their child question their own memory or second-guess their feelings. They took responsibility when needed. They apologised, clarified, and made sure their child knew they could trust their own experiences. No gaslighting, no deflecting — just honesty.
14. “It’s not a big deal, stop being dramatic.”
They knew that brushing things off didn’t actually help. Instead of making their child feel silly for caring, they acknowledged their emotions and helped them work through them. They showed that even if something seemed small, it still mattered. They didn’t make their child feel like they had to shrink their emotions to be taken seriously. That emotional validation went a long way in helping their child(ren) develop a healthy relationship with themselves and their feelings.
15. “That’s not how you feel.”
They let their child own their emotions. They didn’t act like they got to decide how their child should feel or whether their reactions were valid enough. Instead of correcting emotions, they listened. They knew that self-awareness starts with recognising and accepting feelings, not having someone else dictate what’s okay to feel.
16. “I don’t need to explain myself.”
Emotionally intelligent parents never pulled the “I’m the adult, end of story” card just to avoid conversations. They knew that kids deserve respect and that explanations build understanding. They led by example, showing that strong relationships are built on communication, not control. Their child grew up knowing that respect is earned through honesty and connection, not just demanded.
