Relationships thrive on a balance of give and take, but sometimes, the scales can tip towards one side.
Being “selfish” doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re intentionally doing something to hurt your partner. It’s more likely the subtle habits that we pick up over time that inevitably harm our relationships with our partner. However, don’t be too hard on yourself too quickly. It’s likely that you’re not nearly as selfish as you think. If you relate to any of the following, you’re a pretty giving and thoughtful partner.
1. You take responsibility for your mistakes.
Everyone messes up from time to time, but owning up to your errors is a huge step towards healthy communication and growth. Instead of deflecting blame or making excuses, you acknowledge your shortcomings and take responsibility for your actions. This shows your partner that you’re willing to be accountable and that you value their feelings and the impact your mistakes may have had on them.
2. You celebrate your partner’s successes.
When your partner achieves something they’re proud of, you’re genuinely happy for them. You don’t feel envious or threatened by their accomplishments; instead, you celebrate their wins as if they were your own. This supportive attitude fosters a positive and encouraging atmosphere within the relationship, where both of you can feel safe to pursue your goals and dreams without fear of judgment or negativity.
3. You’re open to compromise.
You understand that in any relationship, it’s impossible to always get your way. Instead of digging your heels in and insisting on having things your way, you’re willing to find middle ground and make compromises that benefit both you and your partner. This flexibility demonstrates that you value your partner’s needs and preferences just as much as your own, and that you’re willing to work together to find solutions that satisfy everyone involved.
4. You make time for your partner, even when you’re busy.
Life can get hectic, but you always strive to carve out quality time for your partner. Whether it’s a quick coffee date, a romantic dinner, or simply snuggling on the couch for a film night, you prioritize spending time together to nurture your connection. This effort shows your partner that they’re important to you, and that you’re willing to make an effort to maintain the intimacy and closeness in your relationship.
5. You’re willing to apologize and forgive.
Holding on to grudges can be toxic for any relationship. When you make a mistake or hurt your partner’s feelings, you’re quick to apologize sincerely. You also understand that everyone makes mistakes, and you’re willing to forgive your partner when they apologize to you. This mutual forgiveness fosters a sense of trust and understanding, allowing you to move past disagreements and grow stronger together.
6. You express your appreciation for your partner.
You don’t take your partner for granted. You regularly express your gratitude for the things they do for you, both big and small. You let them know how much you value their presence in your life, and you make sure they feel loved and appreciated. This positive reinforcement strengthens your bond and creates a warm and loving atmosphere within the relationship.
7. You show interest in your partner’s life.
You actively listen when your partner talks about their day, their dreams, or their concerns. You ask questions, offer support, and show genuine interest in what’s going on in their world. This attentive attitude demonstrates that you care about your partner as a whole person, and that you’re invested in their happiness and well-being.
8. You help out around the house without being asked.
You don’t wait for your partner to nag you about chores or errands. You take initiative and pitch in around the house, whether it’s doing the dishes, taking out the rubbish, or running errands. This willingness to share the workload demonstrates that you consider your partner an equal and that you value their time and energy as much as your own.
9. You respect your partner’s boundaries.
Everyone has personal boundaries, and you understand and respect your partner’s. You don’t pressure them to do things they’re not comfortable with, and you don’t try to change them into someone they’re not. This respect for their individuality fosters a sense of safety and trust within the relationship, allowing both of you to be your authentic selves without fear of judgment or control.
10. You communicate your needs and feelings openly.
You don’t bottle up your emotions or expect your partner to read your mind. You express your needs, desires, and concerns openly and honestly. This open communication prevents misunderstandings and resentments from building up, and it helps you both understand each other better and work together to meet each other’s needs.
11. You’re willing to try new things with your partner.
You’re not afraid to step outside your comfort zone and try new activities or experiences with your partner. Whether it’s taking a cooking class together, going on a spontaneous weekend trip, or simply trying a new restaurant, you’re open to exploring new things together as a couple. This willingness to embrace new adventures keeps the relationship exciting and prevents it from becoming stagnant.
12. You prioritize quality time over gifts.
While gifts can be thoughtful gestures, you understand that they can’t replace quality time spent together. You prioritize creating meaningful memories with your partner over showering them with material possessions. This focus on experiences and connection deepens your bond and creates lasting memories that you both cherish.
13. You’re supportive of your partner’s dreams and goals.
You encourage your partner to pursue their passions and dreams, even if they don’t align perfectly with your own. You offer support, encouragement, and a listening ear when they face challenges or setbacks. This unwavering support demonstrates your belief in their abilities and your commitment to their happiness and fulfilment.
14. You don’t keep score in the relationship.
You don’t view your relationship as a competition or a transaction. You don’t keep track of who did what last or who owes who a favour. Instead, you focus on giving and receiving love freely, without expecting anything in return. This selfless attitude fosters a sense of generosity and reciprocity, where both of you feel valued and appreciated for who you are, not for what you can do for each other.
15. You’re willing to make sacrifices for your partner’s well-being.
Sometimes, putting your partner’s needs first requires making sacrifices. Whether it’s giving up a night out with friends to comfort them during a tough time or rearranging your schedule to accommodate their needs, you’re willing to go the extra mile to show them how much you care. These selfless acts strengthen your bond and demonstrate your commitment to their happiness and well-being.
16. You trust your partner and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. You trust your partner’s intentions and believe in their loyalty. You don’t jump to conclusions or accuse them of wrongdoing without evidence. This trust fosters a sense of security and allows both of you to feel safe and vulnerable with each other.
17. You make an effort to keep the romance alive.
You understand that keeping the spark alive requires effort and intention. You surprise your partner with small gestures of love, plan date nights, and make an effort to keep the romance alive in your relationship. This commitment to keeping the passion burning shows your partner that you’re still invested in them and that you value the intimacy and connection you share.