It’s one thing to freely give away money or physical gifts, but are you emotionally generous?
Emotional generosity is all about showing empathy, support, and care to other people unreservedly, just because you know it will make them feel better and lighten their load. If you don’t do these things, you lack this truly special quality.
1. You don’t take time to truly listen to people.
It’s not just about hearing words, but fully engaging with the person who’s talking. Put away your phone, make and keep eye contact (but don’t be creepy about it), and show genuine interest in what people are saying. By giving someone your undivided attention, you’re offering them a valuable gift — your time and presence.
2. You forget to acknowledge other people’s feelings.
Recognising and validating someone’s emotions is an important act of emotional generosity. When a friend or colleague shares their feelings, take a minute to acknowledge them. A simple “I understand how you feel” or “That must be tough” can make a huge difference. It shows that you’re paying attention and that their feelings matter to you.
3. You don’t offer help without being asked.
Sometimes, people find it hard to ask for help even when they need it. Being emotionally generous means noticing when someone might be struggling and being proactive about lending a hand. It could be as simple as helping a coworker with a task or offering to run an errand for a busy friend. They’re small acts of kindness, but they can make a huge impact.
4. You struggle to show empathy in tough situations.
Empathy is at the heart of emotional generosity. It’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and trying to understand their perspective. When you’re dealing with a difficult situation, take a step back and consider how the other person might be feeling. Doing so can help you respond with kindness and understanding, even in tense moments.
5. You don’t celebrate other people’s wins.
Being genuinely happy for other people’s achievements is a sign of emotional generosity. Take the time to congratulate friends, family, and colleagues on their successes, no matter how small. Your sincere enthusiasm can boost their confidence and strengthen your relationship. Plus, there’s room enough for everyone to win — their success doesn’t diminish yours.
6. You forget to show gratitude regularly.
Showing appreciation is easy, but it’s a great way to be emotionally generous. Make it a habit to thank people for their efforts, kindness, or simply for being in your life. A heartfelt “thank you” can brighten someone’s day and also encourage a general vibe of gratitude around you. Don’t take people’s actions for granted — acknowledge them.
7. You don’t make time for meaningful conversations.
We’re all busy, so surface-level chats are pretty much the norm. However, having deeper, more meaningful conversations is an act of emotional generosity. Create space for discussions about hopes, fears, and dreams. These conversations can strengthen bonds and provide valuable emotional support to those around you.
8. You struggle to forgive and let go of grudges.
Clinging to anger and resentment can be emotionally draining for both you and everyone around you. Learning to forgive, even when it’s hard and you’d really rather not, is emotional generosity at its finest. It doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing messed-up behaviour, but rather choosing to release negative emotions for your own peace and the benefit of your relationships.
9. You don’t offer emotional support during tough times.
Being there for people during their low points is a must. Offer to be a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, or simply your presence when someone is going through a tough time. Your support can make a huge difference in helping them cope and feel less alone in their struggles.
10. You forget to be patient with other people’s flaws.
Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes, and showing patience and understanding when people fall short is a sign of emotional generosity. Instead of getting frustrated or judging, try to approach these situations with compassion. Remember that everyone is on their own journey of growth and learning.
11. You don’t practise active kindness in your daily life.
Emotional generosity often manifests in small acts of kindness. Look for opportunities to be kind in your everyday interactions. It could be holding the door for someone, giving a (genuine) compliment, or sending a thoughtful text to a friend.
12. You struggle to set healthy boundaries.
It might seem counterintuitive, but setting boundaries is an important aspect of emotional generosity. By clearly communicating your limits, you’re being honest with people and preventing resentment from building up. Healthy boundaries help you give freely without depleting yourself, and that’s the way forward.
13. You don’t take time for self-reflection and personal growth.
To be emotionally generous with other people, you need to nurture your own emotional health. Regular self-reflection helps you understand your emotions better, making it easier to empathise with the people around you. Invest time in personal growth activities like journaling, meditation, or learning new skills to enhance your EQ.
14. You forget to be present in the moment.
Practise mindfulness in your interactions by focusing on the here and now. Put away distractions and give your full attention to the person you’re with or the task at hand. Being present doesn’t just help you form deeper connections with people, but it allows you to fully enjoy the experiences you’re living through. Isn’t that the whole point?
15. You don’t share your own vulnerabilities.
Opening up about your own struggles and insecurities can be a powerful act of emotional generosity. It shows people that it’s okay to be imperfect and creates space for authentic connections. By sharing your vulnerabilities, you encourage other people to do the same.
16. You struggle to adapt your communication style.
Emotional generosity involves tailoring your communication to suit other people’s needs. Some people prefer direct communication, while others need a gentler approach. Pay attention to how people respond and adjust your style accordingly. Being flexible shows that you value effective communication and care about making anyone comfortable.
