Emotional intelligence is more than just managing your own feelings—it’s also about recognising how your words and actions affect other people.
While no one gets it right all the time, there are certain subtle behaviours that definitely reveal a lack of emotional awareness. These little habits might seem harmless on the surface, but they often leave everyone around them feeling dismissed, misunderstood, or drained. Here are some everyday actions that someone might be low on EQ without even realising it. They can change, of course, but they have to want to!
1. Interrupting to make everything about themselves
Jumping into a conversation just to share a personal anecdote isn’t always malicious, but it can come across as dismissive. When someone is opening up or trying to be heard, redirecting the spotlight shows a lack of empathy. People with high emotional intelligence tend to listen because they actually want to hear what the other person is saying, not because they’re waiting for their turn to speak. Constantly steering things back to yourself can shut people down, even if you think you’re being relatable.
2. Laughing at someone else’s discomfort
Whether it’s teasing, awkward jokes, or brushing off a vulnerable moment, laughing when someone is clearly uncomfortable shows a disconnect. Emotional intelligence includes being able to read a room, or at least someone’s facial expression. That kind of behaviour often comes from nervousness or immaturity, but the result is the same: the other person feels exposed or mocked. It creates distance instead of connection.
3. Refusing to acknowledge their own tone
Someone might insist they “didn’t mean anything by it,” but tone matters. When a person denies how they came across, even after someone else points it out, it shows a lack of self-awareness. Emotionally intelligent people don’t just think about what they said—they also consider how it landed. Dismissing someone’s reaction by focusing only on intent doesn’t make the impact go away.
4. Giving fake apologies with no reflection
“I’m sorry you feel that way” isn’t an apology—it’s a deflection. People low on the EQ scale often use this kind of language to sidestep real accountability. A sincere apology includes a hint of understanding and a willingness to own up, even just a little. If someone can’t reflect on what they did and how it affected someone else, it shows a gap in emotional depth.
5. Changing the subject when things get emotional
It might seem harmless to flip the conversation when someone gets emotional, but constantly doing this shows how uncomfortable a person is with vulnerability. It can feel like you’re being emotionally shut down. People with emotional intelligence are able to sit with discomfort and stay present. Avoiding feelings or pretending they aren’t there just reinforces the idea that emotions are something to be ashamed of.
6. Talking over someone to correct them
Even if someone’s trying to be helpful, cutting someone off mid-sentence to correct a minor detail can come across as controlling or dismissive. It suggests a need to be “right” more than a desire to connect. Emotional intelligence means knowing when to let the small stuff slide, and when someone just needs to feel heard, not corrected. There’s a time for facts, and there’s a time for presence.
7. Assuming everyone sees things the same way they do
People with low emotional intelligence often struggle with perspective-taking. They might act confused or even annoyed when other people react differently than they would. They may not be intentionally insensitive—it just doesn’t occur to them that someone else’s experience could be totally different. High EQ means being able to pause and imagine that other people might be operating from another set of emotions, priorities, or values.
8. Blaming other people for their own emotional reactions
Someone with low emotional intelligence might accuse other people of “making” them feel angry or stressed instead of owning their own response. Passing the blame constantly creates tension and keeps them from growing. Emotional maturity includes recognising that feelings are valid, but reactions are our own. Pointing fingers instead of pausing and reflecting is a sign that someone hasn’t built that awareness yet.
9. Overreacting to minor feedback
Receiving even gentle feedback can cause someone with low emotional intelligence to become defensive, sulk, or lash out. It’s often a sign that they take things personally because they haven’t learned to separate their identity from their actions. People with higher EQ are able to hear constructive input without spiralling. They might not love it, but they can process it without immediately going on the attack or shutting down.
10. Talking too much and listening too little
Constantly dominating the conversation and not leaving space for other people to speak shows a lack of social awareness. It might not be malicious, but it still leaves everyone around them feeling invisible or unimportant. High emotional intelligence includes the ability to recognise when it’s time to lean in and listen. If someone’s always centre stage and never curious about other people, it can signal emotional disconnect.
11. Brushing off someone else’s bad day
When someone shares that they’re having a rough time and the response is “It could be worse” or “You’ll be fine,” it can feel dismissive. Minimising someone’s experience is often meant to cheer them up, but it usually does the opposite. Emotionally intelligent people know how to validate feelings before offering perspective. There’s power in simply saying, “That sounds really hard,” instead of rushing to fix it or downplay it.
12. Being passive-aggressive instead of direct
Snide remarks, sarcasm, or backhanded compliments are signs of emotional immaturity. Instead of stating their feelings openly, someone low in emotional intelligence might express them in indirect or confusing ways. This often makes things worse by creating tension and confusion. High EQ involves honest communication, even when it’s uncomfortable. Passive-aggressive behaviour just adds more emotional mess to clean up later.
13. Struggling to read the room
Source: Unsplash People low in emotional intelligence often miss cues about how other people are feeling. They might crack jokes at the wrong moment, share too much too soon, or keep pushing a topic that clearly makes people uncomfortable. This isn’t always intentional; it’s often a gap in awareness. However, it can lead to people feeling misunderstood or emotionally out of sync. Emotional intelligence includes picking up on subtle shifts and adjusting accordingly.
